Zelgadis looked curiously at the large, ornate key he held in his hand. Made completely out of some clearish purple material he did not recognize – a magical material perhaps? – the key had sparkly silver flecks all throughout it. The whole key had a dull gleam to it. Gaining no clue as to its purpose from its appearance, he returned his attention to the box he had removed it from. The polished wooden box, plain except for the design carved on the top, which he now realized was a stylized key, sat atop a pedestal in the exact middle of the circular room he stood in. The walls and the pedestal itself exuded a gentle white light, obviously magical in nature.

Zelgadis had found this room, and the passageway which led to it, during his search for a possible cure to his condition. Ever since his grandfather had changed him into a chimera – part human, part golem, and part blue demon – he had longed for his purely human body back. He despised his wiry, blueish-purple hair, his hard blue skin, and the rock clusters sprinkled across his body. Now that he was no longer under his grandfather's control, he had been searching for a cure, with spectacularly little success.

Looking inside the box, he saw a loose piece of paper and a scroll tied with a purple ribbon. He picked up the piece of paper, which said:

"The wildest dreams of the Keyholder will be granted at the Palace!"

The Palace? thought Zelgadis, as his eyes narrowed. Maybe I will be able to be cured there. He picked up the scroll, and unrolled it. It was a map, with "The Palace" prominently displayed. He mentally shrugged. He might as well go, even though it would probably be as much of a wild goose chase as all the other possible cures he'd hunted down. At least this time he wouldn't have Lina and the others tagging along with him.

Zelgadis eyed the large, gleaming palace dubiously. What was it doing in the middle of nowhere? He pulled his hood a little further down to make sure none of his hair showed, clutched the strange key, and entered.

The fancily outfitted guards looked at him scornfully, which changed to respect as soon as they saw the key. Nodding him in, he was directed to a well-dressed attendant.

"Very good, sir. I see you have the Plastic Key," he bowed to Zelgadis, not appearing to care that Zelgadis was hooded and masked. Not the typical reaction of people in palaces. But then, this obviously wasn't a typical palace. "Please follow me," he continued, and turned down a hallway.

Zelgadis had no choice but to follow him, his doubts about the wisdom of coming here increasing. This was just too weird, even for him. After following his guide through several passageways, they stopped in front of an ornate door.

"The Plastic Room," the guide declared, "Enjoy your stay at the Palace, sir. If you desire anything, just use the bellpull. I leave you in the knowledgeable hands of your slave now," he bowed and left.

Zelgadis looked at his key. Then he looked at the door. Slave? He looked at his key, and then fitted it into the lock, ready for anything.

He was greeted with the sight a lush, well-appointed room dominated by the large, fluffy bed with a black satin cover and purple pillows. The main colors in the room were also black and purple. And on the center of the bed, was a seductive looking figure on his hands and knees, dressed only in a few flimsy black veils that revealed more than they disguised. They certainly did not disguise the shoulder length purple hair, the horribly familiar, way too happy face, set into an unfamiliar seductive expression.

"Hello, Master," purred Xellos. "What would you like to do first?"

Zelgadis stared in shock at the Trickster Priest. Then he slammed the door, and fled as quickly as he could. He had not been ready for that.

Xellos sighed. He was never going to get out of here at this rate. Zelas-sama's punishments for insults to her – it had barely been an insult at all, really! – were getting more creative. His punishment was to pretend to be one of the Key slaves until he convinced someone to break him out of the "Palace." Though they did not know it, the employees of this Palace had no connection to the real Palace employees, and neither did this building. He had not been particularly concerned when Zelas-sama had told him his punishment; it would be just like a vacation, sex included. It wasn't, after all, as if he would get any Masters who would do anything to him he would be unwilling to do.

Then she showed up. He shuddered just thinking about his last Keyholder. The long brown hair, held up by pink ribbons, the pink dress....shudder. Azusa, she said her name was. For some reason she had latched onto him as soon as she entered the room (well, that part wasn't too odd...) and named him "Jean-Luc." He didn't want to think of all the awful things she had done while she was here.

As soon as she left, he had set up the Key so Zelgadis would find it.

Unfortunately Zelgadis didn't seem to appreciate the circumstances his sometime traveling companion was in. He flopped back onto the bed. He had to get out of here soon.

Chapter Two

"... that never ends as it goes on and on my friend. Somebody starts to sing it not knowing what it was. But then they continued singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends...." Xellos reached the 1457th repeat and kept going,  bouncing around the room, eyes closed in genuine (for once) bliss, showing no signs of stopping or even slowing down. It had been a very long time since he had been able to complete this meditation. Something always came up before he could finish. This was a very, very old Mazuko form of meditation that only the highest ranking priests were taught, one that he had always enjoyed.

He zoomed towards the ceiling, twisting around at the last minute so his feet could push off it. It wouldn't hurt much if he hit it with his head, but it would interrupt his singing. Pushing off, he hit the bed, cartwheeled off it, and zipped off in another direction, seemingly at random. It wasn't of course; this was merely the beginning in an elaborate pattern that would reach its pinnacle four days from now, sending the mind of the practitioner winging into a higher level of understanding of the universe. Yea, verily it was the most profound way of getting in touch with one of the most fundamental truths of creation: chaos was chaotic, but order was infinitely more so.

A.... wrongness.... brushed up against his consciousness. He ignored it and kept up his seemingly random bouncing and his singing. If he got distracted he would have to start over again.

"...then they continued singing it forever just because this is the song -urk" Xellos broke of, falling to the floor with a light thud. He groaned and held his head in his hands, his face turning faintly green (it did not go well with his hair). The wrongness had just gotten much, much stronger.... And it was headed in this direction!

Xellos cowered on the floor, his hands now over his mouth, fighting the heaving of his stomach. Please, he silently begged to anyone who would listen, tears forming in his eyes, just let it go away!

No one, apparently, was listening.

Xellos forced himself to stagger to his feet as he heard the sounds of people at his door. He would need all his wits to battle this wrongness. Anything this.... His mind shuddered away from the horrible words, but he forced himself to continue on. Anything this... shudder cheerful, happy, and joyous would not be brought down with his normal tactics.

The door opened.

Zelgadis peered into his mug of coffee, his breath making the dark liquid ripple slightly. A slight frown marred his face. For some reason, the picture of Xellos in that room, wearing nothing but a black collar and a slightly transparent black loincloth, would not leave his mind.

What had Xellos been up to? he mentally growled.

Perhaps, a small, traitorous part of his mind suggested, Xellos wasn't up to anything. Maybe someone else got fed up with his Mazuko ways, and he's being held prisoner.

Yeah, right, he snorted. I'm supposed to hunt down that Key I threw away, go back to that weird Palace and "rescue" him? So he can laugh at me? Ha!

At the moment Xellos was in dire need of rescuing.

The incredible amount of "good" (good for them, anyway) emotions radiating from these creatures, put together with their unusual appearance, explained much.

He was in the presence of not one, but three of that dying breed, the kawaiisaurs. He wasn't sure, but they seemed to be even happier than was typical for them.

They were busy giggling and bouncing in excitement, making the floor shake, throwing in the occasional "Oh, boy!", "OHo!", and "Goody!"

The tall purple one held the Plastic Key in his hand.

We now enter intermission because the author is getting sick to her stomach.

*Elevator music comes on*

*The author throws her thesaurus at the DJ*

*Metallica comes on*

End intermission.

The purple thing jumped and said, "Hi!"

The author leaves to go find her thesaurus and to take some anti-nausea medicine while she's up.

The purple kawaiisaur interrupted the other two kawaiisaurs, jumping up and kicking his chubby legs together.

"Hi," he exclaimed in a bubbly voice, "I'm Barney!"

"And I'm Babee Bop!" the green one chimed in a little girl voice, giggling.

"Heeheehee," laughed the yellow one, "I'm BJ! Today's my special birthday! We're going to have so much fun playing together!"

Xellos whimpered and collapsed on the floor again.

"What's your name?" Barney asked playfully.

Xellos managed to force out something resembling his name. Mazuko didn't deal well with creatures of extreme happiness (this was one of the reasons the kawaiisaurs were nearly extinct), because they fed on the darker emotions. It was rumored that the kawaiisaurs had killed a Mazuko by "playing" with him until he literally decayed into sugar.

Unfortunately, he could do nothing against these things, even if he could manage to use his powers with them so happy around him, he was still under Zelas-sama's geas. He was sure she'd drop it long enough to defend himself against these things, but if he contacted her she, too, would be affected.

"Jello?" giggled Baby Bop, "thawt's a funnee nwame! I like it!" She giggled some more. Xellos tried to sink through the floor.

"That's a stupendio-ocous name!" exclaimed Barney. "Jello, do you know waht today is?"

Xellos didn't reply, so Baby Bob spoke up.

"Oh! I know! I know! Twoday's the day Big Bwother's gonna becwome a gwown up dinosaur!" she cried excitedly, waving her arms in the air. BJ giggled.

"That's right!" exclaimed Barney. "Today's the day we celebrate BJ's coming of age! And our new friend Jello gets to celebrate with us too! In fact, he has a very important part in the upcoming celebration!"

"Really?!" asked BJ happily. "What?"

"You'll all find out later! Right now, it's time for some stupendous magic birthday cake! Help me out, everyone!"

"Right!" cried BJ and Baby Bop.

"Shimberlee, shimberlaa, shimber-"

Xellos thankfully lost consciousness at this point. (In other words, the author couldn't handle any more of Barney & friends)

Xellos spent the next month recuperating. Not only had he nearly died from an overdose of "good" (bleck) emotions, but he also needed to recover from the more physical damage done to him while he was unconscious. Apparently, the kawaiisaurs had decided he would need to act out his "important part" of BJ's coming of age as an adult kawaiisaur whether or not he was awake. And, unfortunately for his health, not only were kawaiisaurs uncomfortable big in certain areas in particular, but the poisoning of his system meant he wasn't able to heal very quickly.