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Terms of Ownership
by
Keelywolfe
The sun was just rising again over the
Jedi temple, drawing living beings from their sleep and falling in
broken shafts of light over one who had not slept. Deep in the Jedi
gardens of Coruscant, knees aching and skin chilled from hours of
meditation, Qui-Gon Jinn nonetheless remained motionless, focused
deeply inward as he struggled with an emotion that was deeply
unworthy of the Jedi master that he was.
Possessiveness.
It was not an emotion that he was intimately familiar with. His
earliest memories were of being raised in the temples and ownership
was taught to be a trivial matter. All things belonged to the Force
and as such the only thing a Jedi truly owned was his own spirit.
Even a lightsaber could and often was lost and Qui-Gon knew this, he
knew it well. But emotion refused to leave him. It lingered over him
like a dark mist, every time he breathed he felt as if he took more
of it inside him even as his sense of wrongness grew.
I have no right, he chanted silently, letting the words echo through
him. I have no right, no right, I do not possess, I do not own. The
words felt like the worst of lies, even after kneeling here for
hours, his clothing damp with morning dew, he had not been able to
convince himself of the truth of those words.
Nor had he been able to chase away the other dark emotions that were
tormenting him, things that he had never before felt, even as a
child. Petty emotions like envy and jealousy were very quickly
discovered in the initiates and rooted out. They were taught that
all beings had their strengths and weakness and coveting skills that
other possessed was of little use. Instead, they were encouraged to
develop the skills that they did have. Qui-Gon had been taught that
as well. And yet here he knelt, awash with darkness.
But he had also been taught that he must deal with this emotion now,
at its conception. To ignore it, to allow it to remain would take
him down a far darker path. And so kneeling alone, as he had for
hours, swamped with jealousy and envy, Qui-Gon ignored the minor
protests of his body and instead sought a way to deal with these
unaccustomed emotions. After nearly twenty hours of meditation an
answer had yet to appear.
Still, Qui-Gon had not gotten his reputation among the Jedi as a top
negotiator without possessing a great deal of persistence and a
large amount of sheer stubbornness. He would deal with this, there
was no other option. Any other path lead in directions that he
didn't even want to contemplate.
A faint pulse of despair fluttered through him, like draught of
bitter cold. If only he knew how to handle this. He couldn't even
speak of it to anyone, whom was he to ask? Who could advise him on
what he should do upon waking one day and finding that he wanted to
possess his own Padawan?
He forced that coldness aside, immersed himself once again in the
embrace of the living Force that flowed through the garden around
him, again seeking an answer to a question he could hardly allow
himself to think about.
It had begun the day before, during the second level initiate's
lightsaber practice. Standing on the sidelines, Qui-Gon had watched
with distinct amusement and not a small amount of pride while
Obi-Wan had instructed the excited children. Several padawans had
been roped into assisting; helping to train the initiates was an
expected part of their duties. And while Obi-Wan had rather
grudgingly accepted the duty, he now appeared to be truly enjoying
himself.
With boundless patience, Obi-Wan helped a young boy again, adjusting
the boy's grip on his practice saber and carefully walking him
through a simple maneuver. Qui-Gon remained on the sidelines,
ostensibly supervising the children but in reality his eyes hardly
left the figure of his Padawan.
Perhaps they should try to spend a little more time on Coruscant
between missions, Qui-Gon thought, a bit indulgently. Obi-Wan was
obviously a natural teacher and spending a bit more time with the
young ones would help promote that talent. All Jedi were expected to
pass along their knowledge to the next generation but that certainly
didn't mean that they were all good at it. Certainly Qui-Gon had had
serious questions about his own ability to teach...
He pushed aside those thoughts, dismissing them as useless. Dwelling
on the past would only cause him pain in the future. He had learned
in the past few years to focus on the now and to release the past.
The future would care for itself.
Forcing his wandering attention back to Obi-Wan, he couldn't stop
the faint frown that curved his lips as he saw that his Padawan was
speaking to one of the other helpers as they both assisted their
young charges. The other was another human, the young man probably
Obi-Wan's age or close to it and they were both smiling and talking.
Their words were carried away by the din of the room but it hardly
mattered what they were saying. It was Obi-Wan's hand that had
caught Qui-Gon's attention, resting casually on the other boy's
shoulder as they chatted.
Such a simple touch and yet it conveyed a kind of intimacy to
Qui-Gon and it took a moment for the older man to realize why. One
casual touch, a sideways glance between the two young men and even
without the words of their conversation it became obvious that
Obi-Wan was flirting with the other boy. And Qui-Gon saw with a
distant sense of rage that other padawan was flirting back.
Blinking, Qui-Gon tore his eyes from the sight. And so what if they
were? Obi-Wan was of age and if he wished to have a sexual encounter
with someone it was hardly Qui-Gon's business. And yet, a faint
bitter taste filled Qui-Gon's mouth as his eyes were drawn unwilling
back to the sight of his padawan quite obviously offering himself to
another.
Obi-Wan had always given of himself to his master, with astonishing
and humbling loyalty. Even believing that Qui-Gon would never accept
him as his Padawan Obi-Wan had regardless nearly sacrificed his own
life for Qui-Gon's. After that, even after a somewhat rocky
beginning, Obi-Wan had always freely given of himself to his master.
To Qui-Gon and only to Qui-Gon to the point where obviously he had
come to take Obi-Wan's giving of himself to his master alone for
granted. It hadn't really occurred to him that Obi-Wan might offer
himself to someone else in the same manner.
And now, watching him flirt with the other Padawan, watching him
offer the brilliance of his spirit to someone else, unpleasant
emotions took root in the Jedi master, ones that he hardly
recognized. Jealousy, that Obi-Wan would dare touch someone else in
such a manner, envy of the young man who was oblivious to Qui-Gon's
anger. And then, horror, as realization came of what he was feeling
and for whom and Qui-Gon had turned and abruptly left the practice
hall, feeling the weight of Obi- Wan's puzzled look on his back as
he swiftly walked away, directly to the gardens where he had knelt
and immersed himself in meditation.
And now, hours later he had nothing to show for his efforts but sore
knees and stiffening muscles. With a last sigh, Qui-Gon struggled to
his feet, ignoring the protests of his joints.
"Well, that was useless," he murmured irritably and then sighed at
his own temper. Hours of meditation and he didn't even have a sense
of calm from it. The Force had provided no answers to his questions
and had offered no solace. All he knew was what the totally
unexpected flash of insight had shown him the day before. That he
wanted his padawan, and that he wanted the young man to belong only
to him.
Even acknowledging this to himself made him wince. He had no rights
to Obi-Wan; he was the young man's teacher, surrogate parent. Master
was only an honorary title and it did not give him rights over the
boy. These thoughts, these feelings were -wrong-.
Enough. Perhaps rest would give him further insight into
this...situation. He had spent most of the previous day and all of
the night meditating; the sun was only just rising over the temple
now.
Staggering a bit with stiffness and exhaustion, Qui-Gon made his way
through the temple to his rooms. He had no responsibilities today,
thank the Force, and a lazy day spent in bed sounded at this moment
like divine paradise.
Upon arriving at his quarters Qui-Gon had barely shut the door
behind him when it reopened, Obi-Wan creeping quietly into the
common room of their shared quarters.
They stared at each other in mutely, Obi-Wan starting violently when
he saw his master. A thousand things assaulted Qui-Gon's tired mind
at once; Obi-Wan's so abruptly flushed skin, the bundle held tightly
in the younger man's arms that seemed to be his cloak and boots, his
tousled appearance, his bare feet. And his scent.
It was the last that invaded Qui-Gon's tenuous control, the scent
rising from Obi-Wan's skin to wind its way around Qui-Gon's fragile
grip on his restraint, tangling itself within. His Padawan reeked of
sex, sharp and musky with the mingling of sweat and semen, his and
someone else's. Someone who had touched and tasted and done things
to the young man that Qui-Gon did not even let himself dream about,
not even in the privacy of his own mind.
Qui-Gon watched with distant bemusement as his own hand rose and
lightly touched Obi-Wan's crimson cheek, feeling the fevered heat of
his padawan's embarrassment. The stubble on Obi-Wan's cheeks abraded
the sensitive skin of Qui-Gon's fingertips and silently, looking
into Obi-Wan's pale, confused eyes, Qui-Gon surrendered to the
battle within without a word of protest.
Grabbing Obi-Wan's shoulders, Qui-Gon shoved the smaller man against
the wall, scattering the things that Obi-Wan was holding and pinning
his stunned padawan there with his own weight as he devouring the
young man's mouth. Obi-Wan gasped and Qui-Gon took advantaged of his
parted lips to thrust his tongue inside, tasting Obi-Wan's sweetness
and the Other, that other who had touched what did not belong to
him.
Thrusting his tongue deeply into the wet velvet of Obi-Wan's mouth,
Qui-Gon sought the younger man's sweetness, furiously trying to burn
away the wrongness of the Other's flavor. Obi-Wan whimpered softly,
and dimly Qui-Gon could feel that he wasn't fighting, was in fact
arching his hips forward, into the hard length of Qui-Gon's heavy
erection that was pressing into the padawan's belly.
"How dare you go to someone else?" Qui-Gon pulled back enough to
whisper harshly against Obi-Wan's swollen lips. Obi-Wan said
nothing, only panted and stared at his master, the tip of his tongue
flicking out as he nervously wet his lips. Qui-Gon watched it
through a strange haze of lust and possessiveness, wanting this
beautiful young man more than he had thought possible.
Almost roughly, Qui-Gon managed to work his hand between them,
sliding it down to cup the younger man's erection and squeezing
almost uncomfortably hard. He watched as Obi-Wan gasped, his eyes
dilating until only a thin rim of gray was visible around the
darkness of his pupils.
"Mine, you are mine, my Padawan. Aren't you?" he leaned in to croon
softly against Obi-Wan's ear, tracing the soft shell with the tip of
his tongue. He waited for the denial, for the struggle as Obi-Wan
registered his words. He would stop then, Qui-Gon told himself. He
would, he could never force this, never take it like that no matter
how much he wanted it. He -would- stop, he would. As soon as Obi-Wan
told him to.
One word, a husky, barely there sound, a cry, an affirmation.
Obi-Wan's hands tightened on Qui-Gon's shoulders as he threw his
head back and gasped out a single word. "Yes!"
This can't be happening, it can't, it simply can't. Obi-Wan's mind
gibbered frantically even as the young man struggled to get closer
to his master. Years of fantasizing, of hoping and of offering to
his master all that he was, only to be ignored time and again, had
led Obi- Wan to believe that this would never happen.
And now, still sticky with sweat from an extremely brief interlude
the night before, Obi-Wan found himself caught up in his wildest
dreams, in his master's arms with Qui-Gon all but -growling- that he
owned the young man.
"Yes!" Obi-Wan managed gasp out, fear of this ending dragging
affirmation from him. His head dropping back, hitting the wall hard
and he saw stars briefly, blinked them away as Qui-Gon rocked
against him again, pressing him harder against the wall.
Pained gasps for breath as Qui-Gon hands slid to Obi-Wan's backside,
physically lifting him from the floor so that their groins were
pressed together, hardness against hardness. Obi-Wan wrapped his
legs tightly around his master's hips to keep himself from sliding
downward, dimly cursing the clothing that separated them.
The coarse fabric of his pants abraded the sensitive skin of his
erection, even as he thrust up against Qui-Gon again. Yes, Obi-Wan
cried silently, his voice stolen from him by need. Yes, oh yes,
Force yes, I needed this. I need this! Words mouthed against
Qui-Gon's lips as they rocked urgently against each other.
It ended far too quickly, heat and desire pulsing between them as
Qui- Gon's hands gripped Obi-Wan's hips brutally hard, holding the
younger man still as he arched against him and came. He muffled his
moans against Obi-Wan's shoulder, shuddering almost painfully.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and felt everything, the ridge of teeth
pressed against his shoulder as Qui-Gon struggled not to cry out,
the wetness that was seeping through the thin fabric of their
trousers. He fought against his own orgasm, warm tendrils of
Qui-Gon's pleasure binding him through their bond and he trembled to
feel it, struggling to hold back.
Friction burned briefly against his back as they sank down to the
floor and Obi-Wan ignored it. Instead, he pressed gentle kisses to
his master's face, murmuring meaningless words of comfort as the
man's breaths came in near sobs as he fought for control.
"Obi-Wan...Padawan...I'm sorry...so sorry...I didn't mean to..."
He silenced the older man with a kiss, stealing away his distress
and replacing it with warmth and caring. Qui-Gon tried to pull away,
to speak and Obi-Wan refused to let him, twining around his master
like a vine.
"Shh, it's all right. It's all right," he murmured softly, pressing
gentling kisses against Qui-Gon's temples and cheeks, tasting the
salt of perspiration. The older man quieted, rubbing his cheek
against Obi- Wan's and the younger man shivered to feel the coarse
hair against the smooth skin of his cheek.
Qui-Gon raised his head at that, his eyes questioning and in answer
Obi-Wan shifted his hips upward, letting Qui-Gon feel his arousal.
The question in Qui-Gon's eyes gave way to wonder and then delight.
He lowered his head, hesitating with his lips a breath away from
Obi- Wan's.
Carefully, Obi-Wan traced those parted lips with the tip of his
tongue, lingering on the lower lip. The tentative brush of Qui-Gon's
tongue, a marked contrast to his earlier fierceness, dragged a soft
sigh from him and Obi-Wan deepened the kiss, exploring the warm
darkness of Qui-Gon's mouth.
Again, a hand slipped between them to cup Obi-Wan's firming shaft
but this time the fingers were gentle, stroking carefully, seeming
to take his measure as they deftly touched him.
Obi-Wan barely had time to choke out a moan before they vanished. He
whimpered in protest against Qui-Gon's lips but was shocked into
silence as he felt warm fingers again on the bare skin of his
stomach, parting his tunics as they nimbly worked the fastenings of
his trousers.
Strong fingers wrapped around his shaft and Obi-Wan cried out, his
eyes glazing as he stared up into Qui-Gon's. His master had pulled
away, studying his Padawan's face with a strange intensity, similar
to his expression as he did battle. A heady surge of desire pulsed
through Obi-Wan, at being the focus of that intensity.
Qui-Gon dipped his head again, nipping at Obi-Wan's lips and pulling
back before the younger man could retaliate. He pulled his knees up
under him, moving so that he was crouched over the younger man.
Obi-Wan tried to protest, tightening his legs around Qui-Gon's hips
and abruptly found himself pinned to the ground by invisible bonds,
spread out and helpless underneath his master's hungry gaze.
Too startled to even struggled, he watched as Qui-Gon slid downward,
neatly unfastening Obi-Wan's belt and sash with his free hand and
shoving them aside so that he could bury his face in the soft skin
of Obi-Wan's belly.
Inhaling deeply, Qui-Gon let his breath out in a rush and Obi-Wan
squirmed against his bonds, helpless whimpers escaping him. The hand
that was holding his shaft hadn't moved and the gentle grasp was
almost too much to bear.
"I hate the way you smell, my Padawan," Qui-Gon murmured against
Obi- Wan's belly and the younger man shivered at the words. "You
smell like yourself," Qui-Gon continued, inhaling again and then
exhaling, letting the warm tendrils of his breath caress the younger
man who was twisting helplessly, fighting his invisible tethers.
"And you smell like -him-. I hate that smell." He looked up, his
darkened eyes catching Obi-Wan's and holding them while the younger
man trembled against him. "You will never smell like this again, do
you understand me, my Padawan? Never."
"Yes," Obi-Wan groaned. If Qui-Gon had ordered him to walk naked
through the temple he would have done it, without question or
protest. "I'm yours," he whispered, heard an answering shudder from
his master.
The wet flicker of a tongue against his skin made Obi-Wan gasp and
he closed his eyes tightly as Qui-Gon trailed it downward, leaving a
damp path to cool in the air. A second hand joined the first, gently
lifting Obi-Wan's penis from his trousers and Obi-Wan barely had
time to feel the coolness of the air before a hot mouth closed over
the head.
Biting his lip, Obi-Wan stifled the scream that tried to escape,
fighting against his Force-bonds to arch up into the liquid warmth.
His own control of the Force had skittered away from him at
Qui-Gon's first kiss. Finally he surrendered, lying back on the cool
floor while his shaft was taken deeper and Qui-Gon laved the
sensitive tip with his tongue before sucking gently, ignoring Obi-Wan's
broken protests for more.
Qui-Gon's hands shifted to Obi-Wan's hips, pressing down and a
moment later Obi-Wan discovered why, as the bonds holding him
dissolved away. His body jerked up reflexively, curling around his
master and Qui-Gon held him firmly, preventing him from hurting
either of them.
A moment later Obi-Wan settled back to the floor, gasping raggedly.
His skin felt clammy where his clothing was dampening with his
perspiration. Obi-Wan ignored it, focusing his attention on the
sweet warmth of the mouth surrounding him, watching with narrowed
eyes as his master took his shaft deeply inside, sucking strongly.
Even as he trembled, hot tendrils of ecstasy pulsing through him,
Obi- Wan couldn't help but see how beautiful his master was. On his
knees before his Padawan, pleasuring him, the cool silk of his
silvered hair draped over Obi-Wan's hips. Pleasuring him. Possessing
him.
Teeth scraped lightly against the underside of his shaft and Obi-Wan
cried out loudly, his hands flying up to knot into Qui-Gon's hair.
Hands captured his wrists, gentling his grip and remained, thumbs
stroking the soft skin inside his wrists.
Again, he was taken deeply, felt Qui-Gon swallow against the head of
his erection and with a last, pained cry he came, pleasure sparking
through him like an electric jolt. His vision dimmed as he
shuddered, waves of almost painful ecstasy washing over him before
he collapsed weakly back to the floor.
Dimly, he realized his teeth were chattering slightly, tiny
aftershocks running through him as Qui-Gon pulled away, his hands
still holding Obi-Wan's as he tenderly caressing his lover's
softening cock with the tip of his tongue.
The gentle touch was soothing and Obi-Wan relaxed into it, letting
tension drain away as he moved his hands enough to lightly stroke
Qui- Gon's hair.
Qui-Gon shifted, sliding up and draping his body over Obi-Wan's to
press tiny, soft kisses to the young man's lips, letting him taste a
faint bitterness of his own seed on his master's lips. And then he
sighed, burying his face into the warm skin of Obi-Wan's neck.
"Mine."
Hardly more than a breath, a soft gust of air against Obi-Wan's neck
and he smiled a little senselessly to hear his master say it.
"Yes, I am yours, Master," he murmured and was rewarded with a
tender kiss on the sensitive skin of his neck. Believe what you
will, my Master, he thought, letting a smile curve his lips. Believe
what you will. His eyes slit open a tiny bit and Obi-Wan looked down
at the tousled head resting against his chest. There was no need to
argue over who owned who. Carefully, he shifted, urging the older
man to stand and coaxing him to walk into the bedroom where Obi-Wan
stripped them both efficiently and settling them comfortably beneath
the thick blankets.
Lying there, his master asleep in his arms, Obi-Wan let the smile
come again, amused at how this had turned out. Believe what you
will, my Master, he thought again, laughing silently in the darkened
room, but even you must know that it is the one who gives the most
that is the true owner, because the giver is also the one who can
take it away. Still, at this moment Obi-Wan was where he most wanted
to be in the entire galaxy. He saw no reason to negotiate terms of
ownership.
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, inhaling his master's scent
before he relaxed into his own sleep, allowing himself to think one
word before he drifted off, one that he would never say aloud.
Mine.
-finis-
Comments and questions to:
mailto:keelywolfe@gmail.com
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