The sun was just setting, sending streamers of light into the
quarters
I share with my master where we were both sitting quietly in
meditation. Actually, Qui-Gon was meditating. I was sort of pretending
to meditate while I sat there thinking.
It's hard to believe how much my life has changed in the last few
years. Sometimes I feel like this all must be a dream but I'm too
afraid to pinch myself and check, just in case. I mean, I went from no
one wanting me as an apprentice to being the Padawan of the best Jedi
in the order.
OK, so every Padawan probably thinks that about their master, but in my
case, it's true. No matter what the Council thinks of his methods, they
still send him on their most sensitive missions. Even the Supreme
Chancellor asks for his assistance.
And aside from that, he's a wonderful teacher, wise and strong and
beautiful and...oh. Um, I've been noticing that a lot lately too. He
really is a very handsome man. A few years ago in my desperation for a
master I wouldn't have noticed if he all the appeal of a Bantha that
had been lying dead in the sun for three days but now it seems that
every time I look at him I'm wondering about...things. Like if his hair
is as soft as it looks or what it would feel like if he kissed me.
I'm not stupid, I know all about hormones and puberty, my own species
and that many others. Never let it be said that the Jedi neglect
education. So, I know that what is happening and that the dreams and
fantasies are normal. Although I do worry a little about the amount of
time I spend indulging in those fantasies. I've become a lot better
acquainted with my hand in the past year than I like to admit.
But better my hand than to say anything to him and listen while he very
gently turns me down. I know it would be gently. My master also has the
softest heart of all the Jedi. He can hardly bear to cause hurt and as
a Jedi he has to do it way too often. Just the thought of him refusing
me makes my stomach ache and my eyes feel hot and itchy. I can't
imagine how it would really feel. I don't want to make Qui-Gon have to
hurt me like that. And I can't stand the idea of listening to him list
all the reasons why it would be a bad idea, trying to spare my
feelings, instead of just saying that he isn't interested.
Qui-Gon. I've hardly said his name since I became his Padawan. Having
the right to call him master was so thrilling that I called him that
whenever possible and I still do. Saying his name seems so much
more...intimate. Qui-Gon.
Enough. I know what 'the talk' would be even if I haven't heard it.
He's very flattered, I should spend time with people my own age, it's
just a crush and I'll get over it. Blah Blah Blah.
That may be true, it might just be a crush but it doesn't make my
master any less attractive to me. Stupid of me, I know. Why would he
want a scrawny child when he could have any adult he wanted? Stupid but
I just can't let it go.
"Padawan, if you aren't going to meditate perhaps you would like to
prepare our evening meal?" He didn't even open his eyes.
Oops, caught. "Yes, Master," I said, trying to sound appropriately meek
as I climbed to my feet. I don't know why I bother trying to pretend.
He always knows when I'm not really meditating. He always knows
everything.
That thought was very uncomfortable and I pushed it aside. I'd like to
at least pretend I have some secrets.
*
After our meal, I was cleaning off the table and, to my surprise, Qui-
Gon helped me. That couldn't be good. Usually when Qui-Gon helps me
with my chores it means he wants me to have time for something else.
Like more chores, or exercises or any of an entire list of unpleasant
things.
"Are you going out tonight, Master?" Trying for a distraction but not
hoping much. He -did- usually spend his evenings out when we were on
Coruscant, visiting friends and whatever else it is that Masters do. I
usually try very hard not to think about the 'else' part.
"Actually, no. I thought I would spend the evening with you," he
replied. Something of my thoughts must have shown on my face because he
started to laugh. "You needn't look as if I've condemned you to an
evening of suffering, Obi-Wan."
I quickly schooled my face to neutrality. "I'm sorry, Master. You just
surprised me." He stopped laughing and looked at me with an expression
I couldn't read.
"Do I really spend so little time with you, Obi-Wan?" he asked softly.
I didn't know what to say to that. Of course he spent time with me, he
spent time with me every day, teaching me, training me. He shook his
head and reached out, tousling my hair with one big hand and I ducked
slightly, unable to hold back a grin.
"I shall have to change that then." I was suddenly captured in a tight
hug and I after I recovered from my surprise I hugged him back,
happily. After Bandomeer, I found out that while Qui-Gon was a warm and
affectionate man, he didn't exactly show it often. I learned very
quickly to treasure any fondness he showed me and a hug was a rare
treat indeed.
I nearly went into shock when he pressed a kiss to my forehead before
letting go and gathering up the rest of the dishes. He walked into the
kitchen and I could only watch him, bemused, as I rubbed my forehead
with one hand and remembered the feel of his mouth on my skin.
"Padawan, am I to wash the dishes by myself?" He sounded amused and I
pulled up my shields quickly, setting the memory aside. For now,
anyway. It was a nice addition to the collection of brief touches that
I already kept and brought out in the middle of the night to remember
again and again.
As cool and as calm as I could be I joined him in the kitchen and if he
thought anything was odd, he didn't say so.
*
After the dishes were washed, Qui-Gon more or less guided me back into
the living room and sat me down on the sofa. His expression did nothing
to soothe my nerves, which were starting to jitter like weedle bugs.
"Obi-Wan, there is something I've been meaning to discuss with you."
His face was serious and I winced inwardly, rapidly cataloguing
everything I had done in the past few days, trying to think of anything
that I had done wrong that he could have found out about.
Nothing came to mind...unless he's found out about something older, like
when Bant and I sneaked into the laundry and switched all the Council
member's underclothes. Just the memory of that made nervous giggles
rise up in me and I had to struggle to keep the grin off my face.
But what he said next confused me completely.
"Obi-Wan, I am your master and it is my responsibility to care for you,
in all ways. If you ever want something from me, you only ever need to
ask."
I blinked. This was what he wanted to tell me? Of course I knew that
and I opened my mouth to tell him so but he reached up then and lightly
touched my cheek, cupping it in his big palm.
"Simply ask, Obi-Wan and know that you can trust me with anything."
His eyes were looking steadily into mine, his fingers lightly stroking
my cheek. If it weren't for the touch on my cheek, I would have just
nodded and left it at that but...no. He couldn't be saying what I thought
he was. He couldn't and I wasn't about to embarrass him or myself by
asking the questions that immediately came to mind. But he looked so
serious, so intent. Could he really mean...?
I swallowed, hard, wanting and not wanting to say it, if only to see if
I was right. But the words seemed stuck in my chest and refused to be
spoken. "I'm not sure I can ask," I finally stammered out.
He nodded, pulling his hand away. "Then we shall wait until you can."
And he stood, moving away.
What? My maybe opportunity was slipping through my fingers here! I
leapt to my feet. "Wait!"
He stopped and turned to look at me again, his expression endlessly
patient.
I was going to ask. I swear I was. But when he turned around and looked
at me all my nerve just sort of drained away. I wet my lips nervously,
struggling to say -something-.
"Master? Would you...would you kiss me?" That was as far as my nerves
would take me and it seemed to be far enough. Qui-Gon leaned forward,
reaching up to take my face in both his hands and then he kissed me,
just like I asked. His lips just barely brushed mine at first but when
I leaned in, eager for more, he deepened it, his tongue sliding between
my lips to stroke mine.
I had done at least this with my yearmates and I kissed him back,
wrapping my arms around him and holding him close while I shyly
explored the warm velvet of his mouth. He allowed it, participated even
and my head was swimming by the time it ended.
And then he stepped back. Not far, just enough to put a little space
between us. I just stood there like an idiot, staring at him. It
couldn't be that easy, could it? As easy as asking a simple question?
Qui-Gon was still standing just in front of me, quietly waiting. It
seemed that I was in charge of this. It gave me an unfamiliar sense of
power, to know that anything that might happen depended on my yea or
nay.
"Master," I started and my voice cracked. Oops. I might have power but
I was very nearly terrified to use it. I cleared my throat and tried
again. "Master, would you touch me?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan." There was a husky quality to his voice that I'd never
heard before and it made me shiver, little prickles going up my spine.
I liked it.
He reached up and laid his hands on my shoulders and I could feel the
heat of them through my tunics. They slid down my arms slowly, rasping
softly against the fabric before reaching my wrists. And then he moved
his hands inward to my stomach before stroking upward to my chest, all
on top of my tunics.
That was nice enough, well, more than nice but it wasn't quite what I
had meant.
"Master, would you touch me without my clothing on? Touch my skin?" I
could hardly force the words out and my cheeks felt like they were on
fire but Qui-Gon nodded and lowered his hands to my belt.
I will say one thing for my master, he never does anything in half
measures. He stripped me completely and quickly, with me only moving to
lift an arm or leg whenever it was necessary. In only moments, I was
completely bare in front of him.
And he was still fully dressed, even wearing his boots. He started to
reach out for me again and, without thinking, I blurted out, "Would you
take off your clothes as well, Master? I...I'd like to see you." That bit
of honesty embarrassed me very nearly to death but Qui-Gon didn't even
raise an eyebrow. He stripped off his own clothing and moments later he
was standing nude in front of me.
I swallowed, hard, knowing that I was staring foolishly but I couldn't
tear my eyes away from him. My Master was as bare as the day of his
birth before me and he was just...perfect. He'd taken off his hair tie so
his hair was loose around his shoulders and hanging around his face and
I felt that strange urge again to touch it and see if it really was a
soft as it looked.
As for the rest of him, he was all smooth skin and hard muscle. I could
see the pale tracks of scars here and there but that only made him look
better to me. Like he was more human.
He was also very obviously aroused.
It was that last part I couldn't believe. Qui-Gon Jinn, the most
beautiful man, Jedi or otherwise, that I had ever seen wanted me,
scrawny little Obi-Wan.
If he had been even slightly amused by my obvious awe or had he
appeared even slightly less eager for this I probably would have run
out of there and found a nice rock to crawl under and die. But he
didn't even smile, just looked at me with those eyes of his that see so
much as he reached out again and touched me.
This was better. He started where he had left off, on my chest, resting
his hands lightly on me. Warm, callused fingers drifted over my skin
and I closed my eyes, biting back a moan. Oh, that felt so good.
He stroked gently down my chest to my belly, combing through the soft
curls there and then wrapped one large hand around my erection.
I wobbled on my feet and a strong arm suddenly wrapped around me,
lowering me back to sit on the sofa. Qui-Gon shifted to kneel in front
of me before he began again.
It was strangely wonderful, the feeling of someone else's hand touching
me where only my hand had been before. The unfamiliar touch of someone
else's fingers against the taut skin of my shaft was almost unbearably
exciting and I nearly came then and there.
He touched me very gently, one hand lightly pumping my hardness and the
other slipping between my legs, urging me to spread them wider so that
he could cup the soft heaviness there.
"Please, Master," I managed to gasp out, sprawling backwards onto the
sofa. Oh, I couldn't bear this, this was too much and yet not enough. I
needed more.
"Yes, Obi-Wan? Was there something you wanted to ask?" Breathed against
my ear and I shivered at the puff of moist air on the sensitive skin.
His hands never stopped, they squeezed my erection gently, stroking my
aching flesh.
I couldn't ask, I couldn't. But I needed it. I needed... "Master, please,
would you take me in your mouth?" Barely above a whisper but I knew
that he had heard me.
He didn't reply, not verbally anyway. He bent forward and I just
watched, perfectly still, as he leaned over me and very deliberately
licked the head of my cock. I couldn't watch then. I closed my eyes and
let my head thud lightly against the back of the sofa while he ran his
tongue lightly down the underside of my shaft and then back up,
swirling his tongue over the tip again before finally taking me into
the hot cavern of his mouth.
Oh. Reading about this or having someone describe it to me could never
have prepared me for this. How could I have known how hot his mouth
would feel, how wet and soft and how wonderful it would feel to have
the mass of his hair spread across my thighs. I was already shaking, my
hands digging into the arms of the chair and then he started to suck,
strongly, pulling me deeper inside. A loud cry was wrenched from me and
I only realized I'd grabbed his head when his hands caught mine,
gentling my grip but not making me let go.
He didn't move then, his hands still lightly holding my own and I lost
whatever patience I had. I arched up timidly, thrusting into Qui-Gon's
mouth and he accepted it without protest. I couldn't stop then, my
hands tightened on his head as I held him still and moved cautiously,
not wanting to choke or hurt him. But he accepted my movements easily,
relaxing his throat so that I could thrust deeper inside.
I cried out again when he slid his hands under my hips, pulling me
closer and letting the tip of my cock bump against the back of his
throat. My fingers were tangled in his hair then and I knew I was
pulling, knew I must be hurting him but I couldn't stop, I thrust up
one last time and came, shuddering helplessly as I felt him swallow the
sudden warm spurt of my seed.
I collapsed, my hands falling from his head and I could feel strands of
hair wound between my fingers but I hadn't the breath to apologize.
Qui-Gon was still holding my softening member in his mouth, stroking it
very gently with his tongue and I shivered again, little aftershocks of
pleasure running through me.
He released me with a final kiss on the wet tip and looked up at me.
His mouth was red and swollen, his hair tangled from my pulling,
looking tousled and all too tempting. I couldn't resist that siren call
any more than I could ever have resisted him. All my shyness had
evaporated and I captured his face in my hands again, pulling him
towards me and I kissed those puffy lips hard, tasting myself on the
rough velvet of his tongue. And I still wanted more.
I pushed him backwards to the floor, straddling him, my lips still on
his and he wrapped his arms around me, returning the kiss eagerly
before suddenly breaking away.
"Was there something else that you wanted, Padawan?" Qui-Gon panted out
even as he pulled my hips against his, grinding his erection against my
stomach.
"Yes," I murmured, kissing him again, hard. No hesitation this time,
"May I touch you, Master?"
I didn't wait for his reply. I sat up, scooting back to sit on his
thighs and ignored his gasp as my backside slid over his erection. I
smirked privately when his eyes closed as he struggled to control
himself. Leaning forward just a bit, I ran my hands over the smoothness
of his chest, lingering to stroke at pale scars. Lightly pinching one
of his nipples made him draw in a sharp breath so I repeated it on the
other side, teasing both hard little points until I'd dragged a moan
from him.
He was glaring at me now from beneath lowered lashes but I blithely
ignored it, letting my fingers drift lower, across his stomach and then
trailing them along his sides. To my delight, he squirmed a bit, shying
away from my touch while he choked on a laugh and I relented, moving my
hands back into the neutral territory of his belly.
I paused at his hips, studying him. His erection looked very much like
my own, of course, larger but he was a larger person and fully grown
besides. Crimson, the very tip leaking clear fluid and I timidly ran a
finger down the length. His reaction was promising, he arched upward,
almost knocking me off and I quickly shifted to sit next to him
instead.
I touched him again, wrapping my hand around the shaft this time and
stroked downward, very much how I would have touched myself. A muffled
moan was my only response this time and so I squeezed gently, then a
bit harder, trying to rid myself of the foolish fear that I was going
to hurt him. Certainly he could take whatever I could.
Stroking up again, I swirled my thumb over the tip, wetting it and
curiosity struck me then. I glanced at Qui-Gon's face, his eyes were
closed and I gave into the urge, leaning forward and licking the head
of his cock tentatively, tasting the soft fluid there.
Slightly salty, a little bitter but not bad. In fact...I leaned down and
tasted it again, this time taking the head into my mouth and sucking
gently. A loud groan this time and I heard Qui-Gon whisper my name.
I couldn't tease any longer, I could feel him trembling so I took him
deeper, a little awkwardly. It was a bit trickier than I had thought,
trying to be careful with my teeth and I couldn't take him very deeply
without gagging but he didn't seem to mind. I wrapped my hand around
the base of his shaft and stroked it in time to my careful downward
movements.
It didn't take long, our extended foreplay must have affected him too.
I felt his hand slide down to cup the back of my neck, warning me, but
I ignored it. I wanted to taste this, wanted to experience every part
of this. I took him as deeply as I could, felt his shaft strain and
pulse in my mouth as he came and my mouth was flooded with that same
bitter taste. I swallowed without thinking, pulling back and mimicking
his earlier gesture, gently running my tongue over his softening cock.
He pulled me away and tugged me into his arms and I went willingly,
kissing him and his taste mingling with my own still on his lips. He
sighed then, pulling back and rested his cheek against my head. I could
have stayed there forever in those strong arms, never mind that we were
sprawled across the floor. I was more than content to be held by this
beautiful man, who I had thought I could never touch.
"You are beautiful as well, Padawan," murmured sleepily into my hair.
"And no one would never call such a handsome young man a scrawny
child."
I blinked, pulling away briefly to look at him. His lips didn't even
twitch but amusement was practically radiating in the air around him. I
sighed loudly and flopped back down. No secrets from him at all it
seemed. I briefly wondered if he knew about the underwear incident. No,
I decided suddenly, I did not want to know. There were some questions
that should never be asked.
-finis--
Comments and questions to: bsp; mailto:keelywolfe@gmail.com
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