It was early afternoon when the first clouds started rolling in, eerily yellow and hanging low in the sky. Obi-Wan hitched his backpack up further and started walking faster, cursing under his breath in every language that he knew. And didn't it just figure that this would happen during his testing?
Not that it was really that much of a test, more of an exercise really and one that Obi-Wan had enjoyed before on other planets. It was simple. The master takes his padawan out into some remote area of the planet and leaves them there to find their way back to civilization on their own. The quicker the padawan managed to get back, the better their score. Having just finished their mission on Telhal they had little leftover time and Qui-Gon had decided now would be an ideal opportunity for Obi-Wan to be tested again.
Obi-Wan had just turned fifteen, so he was still allowed some supplies, although he knew when he was older he would be totally on his own with nothing more than his clothes and his lightsaber. He'd very nearly tried to persuade Qui-Gon he was ready to try it this time but one look at the rising storm clouds made him glad that he hadn't.
Resignedly, he sped his pace again, leaves crunching underfoot as he made his way through the copse of trees, the sky already darkening further. There were some low hills he could see not too far away and he'd have a better time finding shelter there than trying to use the sparse protection the trees offered.
The storm was going to add days to his travel time, he thought glumly as he trudged along, already having to fight the rising winds. So much for improving his score during this test.
Glancing warily at the clouds, he watched the sky churn in colors of deep yellow and green. It was as if the sky itself was bruised. Worse and worse and now he was all but running.
It was the wrong season for an aether storm but apparently no one had explained that to whoever was in charge of the weather. Obi-Wan had never actually seen one, very few planets had the atmosphere for them and they were rare on the planets that did. But he recognized the signs for it; the odd color of the clouds and the hair on the back of his neck was already prickling with the building current of electricity.
An aether storm was an extremely dangerous combination of a magnetic and an electrical storm caused by fluctuations in the atmosphere. It made traveling by vehicle impossible or at the least dangerous, because if you did manage to start it there was a good chance of a power surge occurring. That Obi-Wan knew from the basic textbooks, so he knew that Qui-Gon wasn't going to be coming for him, although he had his doubts that Qui-Gon would come for him anyway. He -was- in the middle of a test.
What the texts hadn't mentioned but Obi-Wan had been taught in class was that the storm had an erratic effect on Force-users as well. Fluctuating energy surges made controlling the Force both difficult and dangerous. One moment the Force could be strong and firm in your grip, and the next moment it could be gone, only to surge back a hundred times stronger. That much uncontrolled energy was dangerous, possibly deadly, and Obi-Wan was already building up his shields in anticipation, gently holding himself away from the Force as painlessly as he could. It was an uncomfortable sensation, almost like an itch at the back of his mind, but he ignored it. Truly, his life depended on it.
The hills were very close now and Obi-Wan slowed his pace. No reason to exhaust himself when he couldn't rely on the Force as a backup. This wouldn't be too difficult. He had enough food to last for several days and if he just found some shelter and remembered not to fry his brain accidentally tapping into the Force he would be fine. He grinned, thinking of Qui-Gon's reaction when he would see him next. Being late might not help his scores but certainly surviving an aether storm on his own would look good on his records.
Yes, he decided, starting up the low slope of the first hill, this wasn't going to be so bad after all.
A sharp sting at the back of his neck startled him and he raised his hand automatically, his fingers finding a smooth, hard bump. Plucking it from his skin, Obi-Wan only barely had time to recognize it as a tiny dart from a blowgun before a wave of dizziness swept over him. He staggered backwards, dimly hearing gravel crunching beneath his boots before the world tilted and he fell. Weakly trying to stop his descent as he tumbled down the hill, he yelped as there was a sudden, sharp pain in his arm and he jerked to a stop.
It was a hand on his arm, he realized, and he managed to lift his head, letting it loll back so that he could look upward into a face that was far-too familiar. A name escaped Obi-Wan's lips, hardly more than a whisper of air before darkness overtook him and he fainted.
"Xanatos..."
*
There was a strange, uncomfortable pressure on his back and Obi-Wan made a soft sound of complaint, trying to move away, but the pressure only increased. He tried again and this time he felt a hand at the small of his back, holding him down.
"Hold still!" A sharp voice commanded, startling him, and he unthinkingly obeyed it. The discomfort sharpened to pain and there was the sudden, strong scent of antiseptic before the voice continued. "You've got a nasty cut on your shoulder from where you fell. You were -supposed- to just fall to the ground. Trust you to tumble down the hill and make this difficult."
"Oh. Sorry," Obi-Wan said, somewhat dazedly. That voice, he knew that voice...
He sat up abruptly, nearly knocking Xanatos over as he skittered away from the man in a near panic. A frantic glance around revealed a cave of the type he had hoped to find for himself. His tunic was half-off and Obi-Wan tugged it back on, wincing as his arm protested the movement.
Xanatos was sitting up with a somewhat rueful expression on his face as he rubbed his elbow. "Well, you're welcome," he said dryly, moving to pack up his med kit.
"Since it was your fault I hurt my shoulder, I don't think I'm supposed to thank you for it," Obi-Wan replied but there was no sharpness in his tone, just honest confusion. He stared at the other man somewhat blankly, wrapped in shock and his mind still clouded with whatever drug Xanatos had used on him. Almost absently he noted that Xanatos hadn't changed in the year since he'd last seen him. The older man's dark hair was tied back at the nape of his neck, just like before and he was even wearing similar black clothing. Was he still there, in that last battle that he and Qui-Gon had fought with his master's former apprentice? Had he dreamed all of the past year?
He took another step backwards and nearly fell, moving to lean against the wall of the cave as he struggled to shake off his confusion. No, there hadn't been a cave before, the cave was different, and by the gods his head hurt. Closing his eyes, he reached for the Force instinctively, intending to soothe away the pain but a stinging slap across his face stopped him.
"Don't do that, you idiot! Are you trying to kill yourself?" Xanatos snapped out. Hard hands caught Obi-Wan's arms and shook him roughly and he opened his eyes in dim confusion.
"Wha..why?" he stammered out and found himself abruptly facing the mouth of the cave. They were a fair distance in but bright flashes of multicolored light were still visible, flickering in eerie silence. Memory was coming back to him now. The aether storm, his test, Xanatos...
"That's why," the other man replied shortly, releasing him only to grab him again when Obi-Wan started to sag to the floor. Vaguely, Obi-Wan could hear the other man cursing, even as he sank back into blackness. His last thoughts were that this was definitely not good.
*
It was dark when he next awoke and Obi-Wan sat up cautiously, preparing to lie back if he felt dizzy. The aching in his head had subsided somewhat but it still felt as if tiny jawas were hammering in the back of his skull.
Sitting up seemed to be all right. Taking care to not move his head too quickly, Obi-Wan took in his surroundings. The cave wasn't that large, only perhaps seven meters at its widest but it at least seemed warm enough and dry. Obi-Wan was in the bedroll against one wall and across from him was a small cache of supplies. Scattered around the small area were a few emergency lamps, casting everything in greenish glow.
"So, you've decided to rejoin the world of the living? If I'd known you'd react that badly to the drug I would have just hit you. It would have saved me some money at least." That deeply sardonic voice rang out into the darkness and Obi-Wan turned towards it in surprise, wincing as it sent a throb of pain through his head. Xanatos was sitting not far away, a faint smirk on his face.
It hadn't been a dream then. Obi-Wan didn't reply, only looked the other man with wide eyes and Xanatos finally sighed and shifted closer to him. Obi-Wan watched guardedly and didn't move, not until Xanatos knelt next to him and reached for his tunic.
"Hey!" he squawked indignantly, "Stop that! I..."
"Be quiet," Xanatos said brusquely, tugging Obi-Wan's tunic off of his shoulder to check on the wound the boy had gotten earlier. It was still red and somewhat painful looking but not nearly as bad as it had been before. Obi-Wan had stilled the moment he realized what Xanatos was doing, sitting docilely, if warily, while Xanatos dabbed more ointment on the scrape before pulling Obi-Wan's tunic back up. The boy clutched the tunic around himself and Xanatos nearly snorted aloud at the boy's modesty.
"I've seen it all before and better, child. No need to worry about that," he said softly, mockingly. The boy didn't seem to know how to respond to that, just watched Xanatos with a guarded expression.
"What am I doing here?" Obi-Wan asked abruptly as Xanatos moved to put the supplies away. Xanatos turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised and Obi-Wan added hastily, "I mean, it's not that I don't appreciate you taking care of my shoulder and getting me out of the storm but I seriously doubt you did it out of the goodness of your heart." He shrugged, briefly forgetting his shoulder and nearly yelped at the sharp burst of pain. He rubbed the offended flesh ruefully, wincing at the discomfort
Xanatos watched the display with amused eyes before he shook his head. "Isn't it obvious? They must not be teaching the initiates properly at the temple if you can't figure it out on your own." He walked slowly back over to Obi-Wan, his amusement growing at the dismay in the boy's eyes when he lightly stroked Obi-Wan's short hair.
"My dear child," he said softly, "You are the perfect bait for Qui-Gon." A hard edge entered his voice at Qui-Gon's name and Obi-Wan shivered to hear it. "All I have to do is wait for him to come for you." He frowned then as he glanced at the mouth of the cave, the violent flashes of light from the raging storm clearly visible. "The storm has thrown me off a bit but I've waited this long to kill him..." Xanatos shrugged slightly, "I can wait a bit longer." A last pat and he turned away from the boy and went back to rummage through the supplies.
Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his knees and lowered his chin to rest on them as he considered. These tests -were- supposed to be difficult but getting kidnapped by his master's rather unstable ex-padawan had probably not been on the agenda.
Shifting, he glanced at Xanatos as he mulled over his options. Nothing short of a galactic war would make Xanatos release him on his own, so reasoning with the other man was out. He nearly snorted aloud at the thought. Xanatos and reason had never been on the best of terms.
They were going to be stuck here for at least a few days because of the storm so there was still a chance for Obi-Wan to escape. He could see his backpack leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the cave but there wasn't anything in there that could help him, not even an emergency beacon. And he wasn't sure he'd use the beacon even if he could; better to keep Qui-Gon away from here, to keep him safe.
So that wasn't going to be of much help. And whatever Xanatos had done with his lightsaber he doubted he was going to get much of a chance to search for it.
Hmm...no help, no lightsaber, no use of the Force and even if he could escape he'd have to risk the storm to go outside. It would seem that for the moment he was trapped in a very small cave with a lunatic who wanted to kill him. Things were not looking good.
"So...you're going to use me as bait and then kill us both," Obi-Wan said slowly, breaking the silence and then without thinking he blurted out, "Gee, that's original."
Xanatos had settled himself on the opposite side of the cave, rummaging through the supplies but he glanced up at Obi-Wan's words. "What did you say?"
In for a credit... "I said that it's not very original. I mean, haven't you done this before? The whole kidnap me to get Qui-Gon thing?" What are you doing!? his mind shrieked but he ignored it. He might not be able to use the Force but surely it still guided him...anyway, something was pushing him to speak.
Pursing his lips, Xanatos set down whatever it was that he had been holding and turned to face his young captive. "Really?" he said with polite interest.
Obi-Wan nearly sank into the floor in relief. The man didn't sound angry, just sort of amused and maybe intrigued. Swallowed hard, he nodded.
Seeming to consider that, Xanatos sat down. "I see." Obi-Wan watched him, fighting the urge to squirm before Xanatos spoke again. "Well, if you're so very intelligent, perhaps you'd like to think of a better plan," Xanatos said, a touch of annoyance in his voice now.
A sputter of laughter and Obi-Wan shook his head. "Sorry, I'm not going to give you advice on how to plot my death. Kind of a conflict of interest and all," he replied, still grinning.
"Of course," Xanatos said solemnly. He shrugged a little and went back to his searching. Obi-Wan watched him for a moment, but the comfort of the bedroll he was sitting on was so tempting. He still felt vaguely ill and his body was pleading with him to lie down, so he did, keeping a wary eye on Xanatos even as he sighed in relief.
There was a bright flare of light as Xanatos turned on a small portable stove. That must have been what he was looking for, Obi-Wan decided. He wondered idly if Xanatos was going to feed him or if that would be considered a waste when he was going to kill Obi-Wan anyway. A thought occurred to him.
"Why did you patch me up if you're just going to kill me?" he asked abruptly, looking at Xanatos curiously.
"Can't have you dying before I kill you."
Oh. That made a bizarre sort of sense. He settled back down, closing his eyes but opened them again when he felt Xanatos watching him. Turning to face the other man he gave him a questioning look.
"You're certainly very calm about this," Xanatos commented, stirring some kind of food that he was cooking over the tiny flame.
Was that what was troubling the man? Obi-Wan shrugged a little in response. "Not really," he said, "I'm just being practical. Having hysterics isn't going to help." Rolling over onto his stomach, he studied the older man. "You know, it wouldn't hurt for you to be more practical. I mean, how long have you been obsessing over Qui-Gon? Don't you think you should be doing some more important stuff before you get too old to enjoy your life? You are getting up there."
If he hadn't angered Xanatos before he certainly did this time. Obi-Wan watched, with great interest, as Xanatos was actually speechless for a moment while he struggled with his anger. He wondered if he'd pushed Xanatos too far. The ex-Jedi wasn't going to kill him without Qui-Gon nearby but maiming him was probably still doable.
Finally finding his voice, Xanatos sputtered out, "Why you impudent little brat! I'm not that old! I'm certainly not as old as Qui-Gon."
Obi-Wan shrugged. "I never said Qui-Gon was young. He's pretty ancient too. And you can't be that young, you have gray hair."
Food forgotten, Xanatos stared at the boy, his mouth dropping open before he snapped out, "I do not!"
"Yes, you do."
"No, I do not!" And he punctuated it with a fierce glare.
Obi-Wan hesitated, then shrugged. "I guess I was mistaken," he said, in a tone that suggested that they both knew exactly who was mistaken.
*
Exhaling loudly, Xanatos curbed both the urge to strangle the little wretch and the impulse to go look for a mirror. "Are you always this much of a pain in the ass or did you get that from Qui-Gon?"
"You'll have to ask him when he gets here," was the calm reply, and
Xanatos's mouth twisted sourly at the thought.
He turned back to the cooking food, stabbing at it moodily with his spoon. This was not going according to plan. He was supposed to have captured the little brat and had him off planet by now. Qui-Gon would come after them and then he would again face his enemy in battle. He smiled grimly. Only this time it would be on his terms. He could just see the look on Qui-Gon's face when he saw the little brat was in
Xanatos's hands. Perhaps he'd even kill the boy first, just to see Qui-Gon's expression.
But it hadn't quite worked that way. That blasted storm had blown up out of nowhere and now he was trapped this impudent, annoying...maybe he should gag the boy.
The boy was being quiet now, seemed to be dozing off. The drug probably hadn't worn off completely yet. He was so quiet that when he finally spoke again it startled Xanatos so much that he nearly choked on the bite of food he'd just taken.
"If you don't mind, I'm exhausted. But please do wake me up before you do your," Obi-Wan made a vague circular gesture with one hand, "Kill the innocent padawan for revenge thing."
Xanatos stared at him, his mind blank, for a long moment before he finally shook himself and turned his attention back to his meal. Pushing the food around on the plate, he didn't eat a bite, his thoughts still on the boy sleeping only a few feet away.
This shouldn't have been so complicated. Xanatos had been keeping tabs on his former master since their last aborted fight the year before, waiting for the perfect opportunity. And this had seemed to be his chance. The tests would keep the boy separated from his master for days before anyone would begin to worry. All
Xanatos's had to do was snatch the boy and get him off the planet. There was no questioning that Qui-Gon would come for him or that he would come alone. It would have been perfect.
Except for this Sith-damned storm. Shifting to his feet, Xanatos walked to the mouth of the cave, careful not to get too close while he looked irritably outside at the roiling sky. This was going to alter his plans but perhaps not too much. Qui-Gon couldn't be searching for the boy in this storm.
Turning around, he went back into the cave and quietly cleaned up the remains of his uneaten meal. They were lucky to have any supplies at all; Xanatos had brought a meager amount of survival equipment out of habit and it seemed that the boy had at least enough food for several days but nothing else, even a bedroll. Xanatos shrugged in the darkness. It wouldn't be the first time he'd had to share a bed with someone unpleasant and it would keep the boy from trying to sneak out in the middle of the night.
Tugging off his boots, Xanatos carefully pulled back the blankets before slipping under them. The last thing he needed was for the boy to wake up and start fighting with him. Settling the blankets around both of them, Xanatos couldn't help a wry smile. This bedroll was supposed to easily accommodate two but he assumed that it must mean two ewoks who were on very good terms with each other because he and the boy barely fit.
Not that he was going to surrender any of the blankets to this annoying little brat. It wasn't exactly warm in this cave. It appeared that he didn't have to surrender anything because just then Obi-Wan moved in his sleep and sighed, apparently sensing
Xanatos's warmth. He curled up against the older man like a trusting child and drifted back to sleep, oblivious to the jolt of surprise he'd given to his captor.
Stiffening with shock as the boy settled against him it took long moments for Xanatos to relax again. Obi-Wan was lying with his head pillowed on his captor's chest and after a few awkward starts, Xanatos finally settled for letting his hand rest on the boy's back. Closing his eyes, Xanatos concentrating on sleeping. The next day was bound to be interesting; there was no doubt of that.
*
It was that dream again, the one he'd had so often during his padawan days and had followed him into adulthood. He was in Qui-Gon's room, on his master's bed where he had never been allowed no matter how much he had flirted and manipulated.
But now he was here, his face buried against the older man's neck as he inhaled the herbal scent of his master's soap. Qui-Gon was pinned beneath him, making little pleasure sounds low in his throat while his apprentice rubbed against him. Xanatos was holding him down but Qui-Gon wasn't fighting to get away, he was begging for more, arching into his padawan's touch, crying out for Xanatos to strip him, to take him.
Panting hard, Xanatos obliged him, pulling open his master's tunic and capturing a nipple in his mouth. He bit the hardened peak, relishing his master's gasp of pain even as the older man rocked his hips upward, wanting more and more...
Except now Qui-Gon was struggling against him, trying to push him away and Xanatos frowned, tightening his grip. He moved back up, pressing down with more of his weight as he brought his mouth down onto his master's. He forced his tongue inside, tasting his master's sweetness and Qui-Gon was making whimpering cries of protest now and...
When had Qui-Gon ever whimpered?
And Xanatos pushed down harder still, trying to hold onto the squirming and oddly too-small figure in his arms that was fighting against him. He froze, blinking in the dim light down at the boy trapped beneath him. Obi-Wan was nearly crying, eyes wide and terrified as he fought and Xanatos jerked away from him as if his touch burned. The boy scrambled backwards until he hit the wall and he almost collapsed against the hard stone, his breaths coming in harsh sobs.
Xanatos was having some difficulty breathing himself. He raised a trembling hand and rubbed his face tiredly. Sith, that had been too close. It had been months since he'd had that dream, why had it chosen tonight to make an appearance? The boy hadn't moved except to pull his tunic closed and Xanatos had a brief flash of untying it in his sleep. Obi-Wan seemed to have calmed a bit but his eyes were still enormous in his pale face, watching Xanatos warily.
Sighing, Xanatos sank back against the blankets. This was going to make for a long night. "I'm sorry," he muttered, "It won't happen again." Nothing but silence greeted him and when he looked up Obi-Wan was still watching him. "I'm sorry," he repeated, louder this time, "I was dreaming and I thought you were someone else. Come back to bed." He gestured to the blankets next to him and the wariness in Obi-Wan's eyes shifted to disbelief.
"If you think I'm going to be able to sleep next to you, you're crazier than I thought," Obi-Wan whispered hoarsely. "I know you don't think much of my intelligence but I do know better than to pick up a snake when I already know its nature."
The sudden fear in the boy's eyes after his earlier calmness was unnerving and Xanatos felt an unaccustomed twinge of guilt before he pushed it aside. "Come back here. Now," he ordered. The boy didn't move. Xanatos took a deep breath and let it out, struggling with his temper. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said in a somewhat softer tone, "Not like that. I've been many things in my time but a rapist has never been one of them."
Again, the boy didn't respond. He simply watched Xanatos with those wide, accusing eyes.
Xanatos's patience finally snapped, "All right then, let me phrase it differently. Either get back here and into this bed or I will tie you up and put you here myself."
Those pale eyes darted towards the entrance to the cave and Xanatos tensed, ready to grab the boy if he was foolish enough to try to run outside. Apparently Obi-Wan wasn't suicidal just yet because he reluctantly uncurled himself from the wall and crawled back towards the bedroll. Xanatos shifted out of the boy's way, letting him slide under the blankets before settling down next to him, being very careful not to touch the boy.
No matter what way they shifted though the blankets simply wouldn't cover them if they were that far apart and with a long suffering sigh Xanatos finally moved to spoon up behind the boy. Obi-Wan stiffened immediately, trying to move away but Xanatos held him still. When the boy started to struggle in earnest, Xanatos pulled him closer still and hissed in his ear. "I said I wouldn't hurt you but if you keep that up you're going to give me ideas." He rocked his hips against Obi-Wan's backside suggestively to punctuate his statement and the boy went deathly still with amusing swiftness.
Actually, it was very nearly insultingly quick, but Xanatos ignored the faint bruising to his ego. Knowing that he was going to die by
Xanatos's hand fairly soon couldn't be much of an aphrodisiac for the boy. He backed off a little bit and Obi-Wan relaxed a fraction, settling into the blankets a little more comfortably. The warmth and the late hour were conspiring to drag Xanatos back to sleep and he found himself creeping just a little closer to the warm figure in his arms. It had been a long time since he'd slept so close to someone else and it felt...nice, in some odd way.
Cautiously, not wanting to upset the boy when he'd only just calmed, Xanatos let his chin rest lightly on Obi-Wan's head, and when the boy didn't protest, a little more firmly. He sighed, relaxing and then he stiffened abruptly as a faint scent came to him. It was impossible, that light, herbal scent was from his dream, a scent he had always associated with Qui-Gon and it wasn't possible but it was here. Realization came and he lowered his head a bit, letting Obi-Wan's hair brush his nose.
The soap Qui-Gon always used, his scent, was on Obi-Wan. He groaned silently, cursing himself for not realizing it sooner. Just the smell was making him hard and he moved back away from Obi-Wan before the boy noticed. Sleep was suddenly far away from his thoughts and Xanatos lay awake long after Obi-Wan had finally given in, staring into the darkness.
*
When Xanatos pressed himself against Obi-Wan he'd gone so still he'd hardly dared to breathe but when that was all his captor did, he relaxed, letting his breathing become deep and even as he feigned sleep that wouldn't come.
He hadn't been prepared for that, Obi-Wan admitted soberly. Death he wasn't afraid of; what was there to fear in returning to the Force? It was something to mourn and it wasn't something that he was going to seek out any time soon but it wasn't to be feared.
For some reason it hadn't occurred to him that there were other things that Xanatos could do to him besides kill him. Far worse things and there was nothing that he could do to stop it. The thought chilled his blood and he had to suppress a shiver so that Xanatos wouldn't know he was still awake.
The feel of
Xanatos's chin settling on his head nearly made Obi-Wan cry out. It was a mockery of the gentle hugs that Qui-Gon sometimes gave him. Squeezing his eyes shut, he waited for that bruising touch to come again, for strong hands to pin him down. He could have sobbed in relief when the older man did nothing else. Apparently Xanatos was truthful about some things. Chances were if he'd wanted to rape Obi-Wan he wouldn't have stopped before but with Xanatos nothing was certain.
Carefully, Obi-Wan ran the tip of his tongue over his lower lip. It was still swollen from
Xanatos's kiss and that had to be a strange bit of irony, that his first kiss had come from Xanatos, of all people. His cheeks burned as he recalled the incident. For just a moment, still caught in the cobwebs of sleep, Obi-Wan had thought it was a dream, a wonderful, erotic dream of some faceless person making love to him and he'd actually *responded* to
Xanatos's touch. It was beyond embarrassing and thank all the unknown gods that Xanatos didn't recall that, and that he himself had woken up enough to realize what was really happening.
Well, it had been Xanatos biting him that actual woke him up and -that- had been a shock. The man had practically taken a chunk out of him. His nipple still ached a bit. With his arms crossed over his chest, Obi-Wan only had to move his hand a tiny bit to touch the abused flesh and he fingered it lightly, remembering how
Xanatos's teeth had felt against him. To his shame, Obi-Wan felt himself harden and he squeezed his eyes shut, pushing everything from his mind. He needed his sleep if he was going to escape from Xanatos and this only proved that he was going to have to do it quickly before something else happened.
*
When he woke the next morning Xanatos was already up and cooking breakfast, and for that Obi-Wan would be eternally grateful. Before he could do anything else, his bladder made its needs known with uncomfortable persistence. A dismayed glance around the cave didn't reveal anything that was going to help him with this problem and with great reluctance Obi-Wan finally spoke.
"I need to...to use the facilities," he mumbled.
Apparently he'd spoken loud enough because Xanatos replied calmly, "If you have to take a piss, then go up there and do it outside. Just make sure that -you- stay in the cave if you don't want to end up a little crispy when a stray bolt finds you."
Obi-Wan looked horrified. "Are you serious? That's an electrical storm! You want me to...to...in an electrical storm? What if it..." Words failed him and he settled for gesturing frantically at the parts of his anatomy that would be most affected. "I might as well go stand outside with a metal pole tied to my head!"
"Then I suggest you do it quickly."
Muttering obscenities under his breath that would have gotten him kitchen duty if he were at the temple, Obi-Wan walked to the mouth of the cave. And this little bit of irony didn't escape him. Here he was with escape literally at his feet and there was nothing he could do. Xanatos was probably quite amused by it, Obi-Wan thought sourly. But his bladder wasn't about to wait for him to find better facilities.
Relieving himself took care of his immediate problems and he hastily made his way back into the cave before whatever gods controlled this storm decided to go for some record in irony by frying him -after- he was done.
Wordlessly, Xanatos threw a ration bar at him. Past experience had taught him that while they were nutritious, whether or not they were actually edible was up for debate, but Obi-Wan was so hungry that the small package looked like a gift from the heavens. He tore it open and ate the somewhat tasteless bar quickly and then tried not to look too forlorn when it was gone. He hadn't eaten at all the day before and one ration bar was hardly going to satisfy him.
But if that was all Xanatos was going to give him then that was what he would have to make do with. Sitting back down on the bedroll, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and relaxed. He might not be able to use the Force but he could still meditate. He was a Jedi and he was not about to start begging his enemy for food.
To his utter mortification his stomach chose that moment to growl, loudly. A blush stained his cheeks as he heard a soft chuckle from
across the room and Obi-Wan stubbornly kept his eyes closed. A light slap on his arm jolted him from his pretend trance and he looked up to see Xanatos standing over him.
"Here, brat, I think you need it," Xanatos said, handing him a plate. There was still a hint of laughter in his voice but Obi-Wan chose to ignore it in favor of the food. He'd been wrong, -this- was a gift from the gods and there was enough to satisfy even his empty stomach.
Xanatos had sat down next to him, close enough that their knees were brushing but it was difficult to argue for a reason to move. There weren't exactly any other good places to sit and the man was busy concentrating on his own breakfast.
It was only morning, Obi-Wan thought idly, the whole day stretching out before him yet. The whole day left to spend with Xanatos. Now there was a thought to give him nightmares. Glancing briefly outside at the storm that was still angrily churning away, Obi-Wan wondered uneasily what was awaiting him for this day.
*
'Nothing' seemed to be the only thing that was going to happen. It was only just past mid hour and Obi-Wan was sprawled out on the bedroll contemplating the ceiling of the cave with the intensity that can only come with true boredom.
The cave was too small for Obi-Wan to do any exercises even if Xanatos would have let him and Xanatos was wrapped up in writing something on a pad of paper. Which made Obi-Wan think that Xanatos was just as bored as he was, to be doing whatever he was on paper when he'd only have to do it again on a datapad when the storm was over.
A thought occurred to him and he rolled over, studying Xanatos, who was sitting on a large stone a few feet away. Did he dare? Well, the worst Xanatos could do was say no, or perhaps kill him for asking and at least then he wouldn't have to wait to die from boredom.
"Do you know how to play o'chre?" Obi-Wan called to him, holding his breath as he waited for an answer.
The pen stopped and Xanatos raised his head just enough to look at Obi-Wan. "Why?"
Blowing out his breath in exasperation, Obi-Wan replied, "Why do you think? I have a deck of o'chre cards in my pack and I thought we could play a few hands."
Xanatos didn't seem to know quite how to respond to that. He looked at Obi-Wan blankly for a long moment before saying, slowly, "You want to play cards. With me."
He hadn't thought that it was such a complicated question. "Well, yes. Or aren't you bored? I just thought it would help pass the time."
The pen tapped lightly against the edge of the writing pad as Xanatos considered that. Finally, he shrugged. "All right."
Obi-Wan started to get to his feet but Xanatos waved him back down. "I'll get the cards, thank you very much." And he rose to do just that, rummaging through the various pockets of Obi-Wan's backpack. The padawan wasn't worried, there wasn't much in there but some clothes, ration bars and the cards. But he was amused by
Xanatos's growing frustration as he searched through the seemingly never-ending pockets. Finally, in the last pocket Xanatos found them and he held them aloft triumphantly. Obi-Wan grinned at the man's expression and reached for the cards, only to have Xanatos hold them out of his reach.
"Ah, ah.
I get to deal first."
"Hey!"
*
"You're cheating!"
"How could I be cheating, it was your turn to deal."
"You're still cheating. I don't know how but I know you are."
Obi-Wan smirked from behind his current hand of cards. "Prove it."
With an exasperated sigh Xanatos tossed his cards onto his growing pile. "I yield." Obi-Wan grinned and started gathering up the cards again. "It's been too long since I played that game," Xanatos grumbled, "I'm out of practice."
Hands pausing in the middle of shuffling, Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at the older man before he nodded solemnly. "Of course. I'm sure that not too long ago you would have trounced me thoroughly."
Xanatos had reached up and tugged the elastic from his ponytail and was struggling to run his fingers through the tangled hair. At Obi-Wan's words, he stopped and gave the boy a suspicious look. "You wouldn't happen to be mocking me now, would you?" And he was instantly met with wide, innocent eyes.
"Of course not." And then Obi-Wan busied himself with shuffling the cards. Xanatos shook his head, hiding a smile and then made a sound of exasperation as his hair refused to cooperate. Moving to rummage through his pack, he found a comb and started to fight with the snarls in his hair. It hadn't been combed in two days and while that wasn't a record it certainly wasn't easily fixed.
There was a snort from behind him and Xanatos jumped as hands caught his own and took away the comb. "Let me do it, you're only making it worse." And for reasons that Xanatos didn't quite want to think about, he let him. Obi-Wan knelt behind him and started to deftly untangle the long hair.
"I suppose you do this for Qui-Gon all the time," Xanatos muttered tersely. He could recall doing it himself, patiently combing out Qui-Gon's long hair. It had been a wonderful excuse to touch his master.
"Sometimes," was Obi-Wan's calm reply as he worked the comb through the older man's hair. "Your hair is different than Qui-Gon's though. It's sort of..."
"Darker?" Xanatos suggested dryly.
"Heavier." Obi-Wan finished. "His hair is really fine but your hair is a lot thicker. And I was right, you do have a gray hair."
"I do not!"
"I could pull it out and show it to you..."
Closing his eyes, Xanatos bit back his sharp response. "That won't be necessary."
They were both silent after that, lulled by the smooth rhythm of the comb sliding steadily through
Xanatos's hair. The tangles were gone but Obi-Wan didn't want to stop just yet.
Xanatos's hair was almost as fascinatingly odd as the man himself. It was a rich, shining black that fell down to the middle of
Xanatos's back in a dark, heavy curtain. It clung to Obi-Wan's hands statically as he combed it, as if it possessed a life of its own. And so Obi-Wan lingered, wanting to touch that strange softness just a bit longer.
Xanatos was nearly asleep. It had quite literally been years since anyone else had combed his hair and he'd forgotten just how relaxing it was. He could feel Obi-Wan's slim fingers twining in it as the boy played with the soft locks but he didn't have it in him to protest. Finally, what could have been an hour later and yet still felt far too short, Obi-Wan's hands stilled, resting lightly on
Xanatos's back.
"Why are you doing this?" Obi-Wan asked quietly. "Why can't you just let it go? I'm not saying that either of you are innocents in this. I love Qui-Gon but I'll be the first to admit that he has his faults. It's been years now; haven't you both hurt each other enough?"
"Pleading for your own life? I would have thought that beneath you," Xanatos said coolly, his stomach clenching. The brat certainly had nerve but not very good survival instincts, it would seem.
"This isn't about me! When will it end? When is it going to be enough?" Obi-Wan tossed the comb aside in frustration and Xanatos turned to face him. They glared at each other, their faces awash with flashes of light as the storm outside reached its zenith.
"It will be over when he is dead." Flatly and Xanatos turned away, picking the comb up and tucking it back into his bag.
"I don't understand!" Obi-Wan persisted, leaning forward on his knees. "How can you hate like that? I know that's not how you were raised..." And he found himself flat on his back, his wrists caught in a painfully hard grasp and Xanatos looming over him, his eyes as stormy as the clouds aside and white lines of rage pinching his face.
"And what do you know about how I was raised? From Qui-Gon?" He laughed, a harsh, bitter sound that echoed through the small cave, before he looked down again at the boy trapped beneath him. "I think we've all seen how well Qui-Gon knows me, haven't we?"
Pinned down by Xanatos weight, Obi-Wan didn't struggle. He waited silently for whatever his captor was going to do.
Xanatos's face was only inches from his own with the dark hair that had fascinated Obi-Wan so hanging around both of their faces, lightly tickling the padawan's cheeks like a dozen tiny fingers.
It was so tempting to Xanatos, far more than it should have been, to lean down and capture those soft lips that were so close with his own. His eyes refused to leave them, traced the smooth curves, watching the small pink tongue flick out and dampen them, before he blinked and reared back a little to look into the boy's eyes. No fear this time, only calm greeted him, eyes that had seemed pale gray before had darkened to something closer to blue. Xanatos studied the boy's face. This was not the child that he had met those years ago; the roundness of childhood had faded to be replaced by strong lines and his shoulders were just starting to show the promise of their future breadth. The boy had to be fifteen by now or nearly so, old enough, old enough to...
Flinching back, Xanatos released the boy, turning around and struggling to rid himself of his brief lapse of control. Gods, he'd almost...
He heard Obi-Wan quietly sitting up behind him, moving away to the other side of the cave and he was silently grateful to have the boy out of his reach and the temptation was still so great. He could do it, a tiny voice in his head whispered, there wasn't anything or anyone who could stop him. The boy might fight at first but he was stronger and he could be very persuasive when he wanted to be.
With a self-derisive snort Xanatos pushed those thoughts away, angrily tying his hair back again in quick, jerky motions. He was not a rapist and he was not going to start with this boy. Bad enough that Obi-Wan was going to die for no other reason than his association with Qui-Gon; he wasn't going to violate the boy as well.
The rest of the day passed in uncomfortable silence, their earlier camaraderie lost, while Xanatos ignored that little voice in his mind that was asking him when he had started to care about what happened to his prisoner.
*
With great reluctance on both their parts, they bedded down again together. The night was far from warm as the winds picked up even more outside, howling eerily through the cave like some lost creature, and there was still only one bedroll. Lying uncomfortably tense in each other's arms, neither of them slept well, and by the time they had both managed to drift off, the winds had settled and the first rays of the rising sun were creeping into the small cave that was their sanctuary.
*
All he was aware of was warmth, sweet comforting warmth, as he hadn't felt it in years and Xanatos sighed contentedly, seeking to move closer to the source of his comfort and getting an answering sigh in return. Sleep was fading away from him, pushing him to resurface into the waking world and Xanatos resisted it, trying to hold onto this wonderful contentment for as long as he could but it slipped through his fingers like mist and he regretfully let it go, raising his head and opening his eyes.
Only to meet a pair of sleepy eyes that were a deep blurring of bluish gray now and very close. Their faces were only bare inches apart and neither of them moved, each simply watching the other as they waited.
Very slowly, Obi-Wan lifted a hand and reached behind
Xanatos's head, plucking at the tie holding back his hair until it loosened. Freed from its restraints, the dark length of his hair tumbled down to hang loosely around their faces, as it had the day before.
All thoughts of wrongness drifted away like vapor as Xanatos lowered his head until his lips were very gently pressed against Obi-Wan's. The boy responded shyly, parting his lips to allow Xanatos access to the sweetness of his mouth and Xanatos took the invitation, let his tongue slide past the hard edge of teeth to test the softness within.
Coaxing Obi-Wan's tongue with his own, the kiss deepened further. Obi-Wan hesitantly let his tongue twine with
Xanatos's. For the moment that was all they did, kissing languidly in the early morning light. Then Xanatos pulled away, letting his forehead rest against Obi-Wan as he fought for breath.
This was not a good idea, Xanatos thought, a little desperately. No matter how attractive the boy was he was still the enemy. He was Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan for Sith's sake! But he was also lying beneath Xanatos, the warm press of his body a heady sensation and his lips were soft and tasted sweet.
He wavered uncertainly, the urge to bolt growing stronger when trembling hands drifted up to clasp his shoulders. Obi-Wan's
obvious nervousness melted away his own and with a last sigh Xanatos surrendered, lowering his head to again explore the innocent delights of Obi-Wan's lips.
The boy certainly learned fast, he thought hazily as Obi-Wan responded eagerly this time, exploring
Xanatos's mouth with unabashed enthusiasm. Pulling back with a gasp, he ignored Obi-Wan's sound of complaint as he buried his face into the warm skin of his neck, inhaling deeply. The boy still smelled like Qui-Gon, that faint herbal scent but even that wasn't enough to distract him now.
Nibbling gently on the tender skin of Obi-Wan's neck, he dragged a moan from the boy before he moved upward to his ear. Pulling the soft lobe into his mouth Xanatos sucked it gently, biting into it before drawing away and drifting back downward. Obi-Wan's hands tangled in his hair, a wordless entreaty to continue and Xanatos did, going lower to tug Obi-Wan's tunic aside. It parted easily under his questing fingers, exposing satin smooth skin to
Xanatos's curious eyes.
The boy truly was beautiful, his chest was sleekly muscled with dusky nipples that begged to be tasted. Xanatos lowered his mouth to one, lapping at the nub until it hardened under his tongue. Drawing it into his mouth, he scraped his teeth across the sensitive peak and was rewarded with a startled gasp, Obi-Wan's hands tightening in his hair as he released the nipple and kissed his way over to the other one, repeating his efforts until it was as hard and aching as its twin.
Xanatos traced a warm, wet path downward, flicking his tongue into the boy's navel teasingly before he nuzzled against the flat plain of Obi-Wan's belly. Glancing upward, he saw that Obi-Wan's eyes were tightly closed, his lower lip caught between his teeth. Sliding back upwards, Xanatos touched the boy's mouth lightly with his fingers until Obi-Wan relaxed and then he tenderly rubbed his own lips over Obi-Wan's, soothing the bruised flesh.
Nudging Obi-Wan's knees apart with his own, Xanatos settled himself between them and into the cradle of the boy's hips. They sighed against each other's mouths as their erections met even blocked as they were through the barrier of clothing. For just a moment, they rocked together, Obi-Wan meeting
Xanatos's gentle thrusts awkwardly but willingly, whimpering softly into the older man's mouth, until they were both breathing heavily. Xanatos pulled away again, shifting to his knees as he struggled to rid himself of his own tunic while Obi-Wan watched him with passion-darkened eyes. Finally managing to cast off his tunic, Xanatos quickly slipped off Obi-Wan's as well, leaving them both naked to the waist.
Eyes widening in fascination, Obi-Wan reached out and timidly stroked the smooth skin of
Xanatos's chest. Encouraged by the older man's breathless moans, he leaned up to kiss and taste, flicking his tongue across one dark nipple. A large hand caught the back of Obi-Wan's head, holding him there and he obliged, sucking the peaked flesh gently.
"Harder," whispered hoarsely above him, the first word spoken that morning in a voice Obi-Wan hardly recognized but he did as he was asked, sucking with some force until he was certain he was hurting the other man. But the harsh breathing above him denied that was true and Obi-Wan suddenly found himself tipped backwards again, Xanatos mouth on his own with bruising force.
Strong hands slid down to Obi-Wan's hips, cupping them and lifting them upward deliberately against
Xanatos's hardness and Obi-Wan broke the kiss with a startled gasp, his hands scrabbling at
Xanatos's shoulders to clutch tightly. He gave a cry of protest when the older man eased them apart again to fumble between their bodies at the laces to Obi-Wan trousers. Impatient fingers finally just broke them and Xanatos quickly skimmed the leggings down slim legs and off, leaving Obi-Wan bare.
The boy's hands fluttered briefly as if to cover himself but Xanatos captured them and gently pressed them back against the blankets as he drank in the sight of Obi-Wan's body. The warm expanse of sun-kissed skin that was his chest, down the flatness of his stomach to his erection. Flushed crimson, the glistening tip peeking out from its foreskin, it rose up from a nest of soft curls, curving up Obi-Wan's belly.
One hand released its grip on Obi-Wan's wrists and went to hover over that heated flesh. Xanatos heard the boy draw in a sharp breath and hold it and he glanced upward, meeting dark, fevered eyes with his own before with a single finger he gently stroked Obi-Wan's cock from the base to the head.
A soft choked sound and Xanatos repeated the gesture, his eyes still on Obi-Wan's as he inched downward. Easing the foreskin back Xanatos finally broke their gaze as he lowered his head to lap at the tip. Obi-Wan's one free hand flew to Xanatos head but he captured it and again held it down on the blankets.
Dark hair pooled across the pale skin of Obi-Wan's thighs as Xanatos kissed his way down the shaft, moist breath caressing the sensitive skin before he took it in his mouth, sucking strongly. Harsh, desperate cries were escaping the padawan's throat as he strained to arch upward, to push himself deeper into that scalding heat but the other man's strength prevented it. A velvet tongue lashed against him and Obi-Wan nearly screamed, pleasure shivering through him as he writhed helplessly against the blankets, oblivious to the hard stone beneath them.
He wailed at the loss as he was released, the air uncomfortably cold against his wet skin. Xanatos released his wrists and he could hear the other man stripping off the last of his own clothes before he finally settled against Obi-Wan again, the last barriers of clothing removed.
Something large and hard prodded against Obi-Wan's stomach and his hand stole down to touch it, curiously, measuring it against his palm. Xanatos shuddered, his breath hissing from between clenched teeth and he reached down to pull Obi-Wan's hand away. The boy looked up uncertainly and was met with a hard kiss before Xanatos moved to whisper hotly in his ear, "Obi-Wan, I want to be inside you."
The words sent a pulse of heat through the boy and he closed his eyes, his breaths harsh as he struggled for control. He nodded, once, and hands moved to turn him onto his stomach. A bright spark of fear as he was suddenly covered from behind by a much larger body and Obi-Wan managed to gasp out, "I...I've never...done this before."
A soft chuckle blew warm breath against the back of his neck as Xanatos murmured, "Don't worry, I have."
There was a rush of cool air as Xanatos moved away from him, and Obi-Wan shifted up on his elbows to see the older man searching through his supplies, haphazardly scattering things until he found the antibiotic ointment he'd used on Obi-Wan's shoulder days before. Returning, Xanatos was all at once exposed to Obi-Wan curious eyes and the older man watched with amusement as they widened in shock, locked onto his groin.
Kneeling next to the boy, Xanatos cupped the padawan's face between his palms and kissed him deeply until the shock faded to be replaced again by need. Without releasing Obi-Wan's sweet mouth he slid one hand down the boy's back and lightly stroked his backside. As he'd expected, Obi-Wan tensed immediately and Xanatos massaged it away, breaking the kiss to nuzzle against Obi-Wan's shoulder.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered, pressing moist kisses against the soft skin. "It's all right, relax for me, that's it..."
Coaxingly, he caressed the boy's flanks before stroking lightly between the soft cheeks. Slicking his fingers with the ointment, he probed gently at the puckered entrance there, circling it with his finger. He pressed inward, past the tight ring of muscle and inside. Obi-Wan's whimper was muffled against the blankets and Xanatos soothed him with wordless murmurs, lightly petting Obi-Wan's hip with his free hand.
Long moments passed before the boy finally relaxed and accepted the single finger easily. His hips hesitantly rocked backwards and the protesting whimpers blended into soft pleas for more.
Enough. Xanatos withdrew his hand and moved behind the boy, grasping his hips and pulling Obi-Wan up on his knees. Coating his erection thickly with the ointment, he positioned himself against the boy's entrance. Hesitating there, Xanatos looked down at his...captive? He was no longer sure.
Qui-Gon Jinn's chosen padawan was spread out and trembling beneath him. Opened and vulnerable and far too trusting and the urge came to him to simply thrust deeply inside the boy's virgin body, to force his way inside the resisting flesh and to just take what he wanted. The perfect revenge and he could almost see Qui-Gon's face when he discovered that Xanatos had violated his innocent padawan. Almost.
But the urge left him as quickly as it had come, cast aside as the thought pained him perhaps almost as much as it would have Qui-Gon. He couldn't hurt this boy, not like that. Not when he was so warm and willing and trusting beneath him. He had told Obi-Wan that he was not a rapist and he was going to keep that promise, if no other one.
Slowly, carefully, he pressed forward, heard Obi-Wan's breath hitch in his chest as he was penetrated. His grip tightened on Obi-Wan's hips as Xanatos struggled for control and by all the gods the boy was tight! Just the very tip of his cock was wrapped in that tight heat and it was nearly too much, fire-hot and almost unbearably wonderful pressure surrounding him, pulling him inside. Obi-Wan was whimpering beneath him, tense and shaking but he couldn't stop, not now, edging deeper inside in careful degrees until his hips were resting against Obi-Wan's backside. Xanatos shuddered, letting his head drop down to rest between Obi-Wan shoulder blades.
It was the most difficult thing he had ever done in his life, pausing there and waiting for Obi-Wan to adjust to his invasion when every cell in his body was screaming for him to move, to take what he needed so desperately. He pressed a kiss against Obi-Wan's back, tasting his salt-sweet skin and felt the muscles beneath his lips trembling. Frowning, Xanatos shifted back a little and the movement pushed him deeper inside, pulling a gasp from him and a soft cry from Obi-Wan.
Xanatos froze, fear that he had hurt the boy freezing his blood but when he would have withdrawn, a hoarse whisper stopped him.
"Do that again," gasped out between panting breaths and after a moment's hesitation, Xanatos rocked his hips forward cautiously. Obi-Wan groaned.
"Oh, yes...like that. Again, like that, please. Oh!" His words cut off with a cry as Xanatos thrust forward strongly that time, moving against him. "Yes! Oh, oh...oh, please!"
Listening to that passion-roughened voice begging him for more set Xanatos aflame and he set up a hard rhythm, thrusting deeply inside the tight passage that surrounded him. Obi-Wan was crying out with each deep lunge, squirming beneath him and pleading almost incoherently for more until Xanatos was nearly in a frenzy of movement.
Their cries echoed around the cave, magnified and reverberating around them and very fleetingly Xanatos wished that they didn't have to be closed off from the Force. It had been so long, so very, very long since he'd had this mutual pleasure with someone that hadn't wanted something from him, be it money or something else. And even longer since he'd been with another Force-user and felt the kind of closeness that only someone who had been with the Force could possibly understand.
Just as well, he thought, closing his eyes and concentrating on the slick passage that clasped him so tightly. Just as well. This was already closer to Obi-Wan than he had ever intended to be.
And then his capacity for thought left him as Obi-Wan started shaking beneath him, nearly screaming as he found his pleasure. His body clenched tightly, rhythmically around
Xanatos's cock, dragging a choked gasp from the man as he managed to thrust deeply a last time, spilling himself deeply inside.
It seemed to last forever, both of them struggling to get closer to the other, to get deeper, to get -more- and Xanatos was dimly alarmed to feel his control slipping, to feel ecstasy ricocheting between them and they were both thrown to a new plateau of pleasure by their own feelings reverberated through a link that was suddenly there, gossamer-fine but there nonetheless.
Exhausted, still trembling with aftershocks, Xanatos slumped down over the boy, unable to hold even the tiniest bit of his own weight. He moved only when he heard Obi-Wan rasping for breath, murmuring an apology, and he carefully pulled Obi-Wan into his arms. Slowly their breathing calmed, Xanatos lightly stroking Obi-Wan's back with one trembling hand as he waited for the tears he was sure would come, when Obi-Wan realized the enormity of what they had done. But there was only a single drop of warmth against his chest and nothing more. Xanatos smiled faintly, rubbed his cheek against Obi-Wan's hair. Strong little brat, but like he'd thought before, the boy had no survival instincts.
Their skin was damp with perspiration and Obi-Wan shivered faintly in the early morning chill. Reaching down, Xanatos managed to capture the blanket and he wrapped them in its scratchy warmth, and still in each others arms, they both drifted back into sleep.
*
Only a few hours had gone by when Xanatos woke again to find Obi-Wan still in his arms, sound asleep. He was reluctant to move and disturb him, so instead he studied the boy's face. Relaxed in sleep, he looked even younger and Xanatos felt a faint tinge of guilt for what they had done. But then again, remembering the way the boy had responded...he could put a trained courtesan to shame.
His long braid was trailing over Xanatos chest and after a moment Xanatos reached up and touched it. He fingered the slender plait lightly, examining it with a critical eye. It was a mess after not being redone in a few days but he knew that couldn't normally be the case. Obi-Wan had to be quite a diligent student because he already wore a yellow band, impressive for one as young as he was. Very impressive actually; he was younger than Xanatos himself had been.
Idly playing with the cord of hair, Xanatos laid his head back and studied the ceiling of the cave, tracing the stone curves with his eyes while lost in his thoughts.
His own braid was years gone now. It had been nearly to his waist at the end, and tied with the colored bands that spoke of his accomplishments, just waiting for the moment that Qui-Gon would cut it off and accept him into the knighthood.
Qui-Gon.
The anger flared at the thought of his old master's name, as it always did. Any thought of Qui-Gon brought only the blood-streaked image of his dead father's face and with it bitterness, a metallic taste in the back of his mouth. Even now he could recall watching Qui-Gon kill his father. He could feel the metal of his father's ring searing into his cheek, could smell the burning flesh, hear his own laughter as he shrieked to Qui-Gon that it wasn't over, oh no, it would never be over, not until his old master's blood had been spilled.
The image haunted him, chased him just as he chased Qui-Gon. Awake, asleep, it didn't matter. Only the image of his dead father in his mind mattered. And only after Qui-Gon was dead would that image leave him. If he killed Qui-Gon then maybe his father would finally rest in peace and stop being there, taunting him with his failures, of the Jedi he would never be, the son he could never be, and maybe he would never again wake in the morning with guilt all but strangling him until he forced himself to think of Qui-Gon, the one who was truly to blame and it all led back to Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon...
A soft, querulous sound from below jerked him from his thoughts and Xanatos realized he had Obi-Wan's braid clenched so tightly in his fist that he was pulling it. Relaxing his grip, he gently rubbed the spot behind Obi-Wan's ear to soothe the pain he'd inadvertently caused. Obi-Wan sighed in his sleep and snuggled closer, making Xanatos smile.
But the smile vanished quickly. And where did Obi-Wan fit into this? A part of Xanatos was urging him to keep the boy and that voice was persuasive. He had been willing, that was certain and he might protest at first but surely he would relent after a while. He could take the boy now and by the time he found out what Xanatos had planned they would be far away and it would be too late to protest.
But that was foolish, nothing more than an insubstantial dream. Because Qui-Gon -would- come after them. That had been the plan, after all. Qui-Gon would come and there would be a confrontation. And Obi-Wan would never stay out of it, would not stand idly by and let him kill Qui-Gon, that much Xanatos knew. Obi-Wan would do anything to stop him and could he go through Obi-Wan to kill his old master, Xanatos wondered, looking down at the boy sleeping peacefully in his arms.
Could he? The idea made him nauseous, the image of this young boy dying in front of him, his brief life wiped away by
Xanatos's hand, by his hatred. Could he do that...? He thought again of Qui-Gon, of his dead father and with a growing sense of coldness he realized that he could, and not just that he could, he would. A picture formed before his eyes of Obi-Wan's face streaked with blood as his broken body was cast aside, an obstruction in the path towards Qui-Gon's death. Just another obstacle to overcome, something to be used, abused and cast aside if it meant just one step closer to Qui-Gon's death.
And he could do it.
"Wake up," he said, almost inaudibly, his hand tightening on the slender braid in his grasp. He sat up, casting off the blankets and shaking the boy roughly as he repeated it, louder, urgently, "Wake up!"
The boy jerked upright, one hand scrabbling reflexively for a lightsaber that wasn't there as he automatically scanned his surroundings for danger. But there was only Xanatos, who had already pulled on his own trousers and was fastening them with quick, impatient fingers.
Obi-Wan blinked in the bright light, confusion shining in his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"The storm is over," Xanatos replied tersely. "Get dressed." He started tossing the boy's clothing at him, watching as Obi-Wan fumbled into them. For just a moment he saw the boy's eyes, eyes that held far too much expression for one who was to be a warrior and in those depths was a strange mixture of understanding and betrayal, both emotions shadowed by hurt. Those wounded eyes held his own for the barest of seconds before acceptance seeped into them, acceptance of his fate and determination to do what must be done.
And even in his own pain, held tightly in check and hidden deeply within where it could never be seen, Xanatos felt something stir within him at Obi-Wan's eyes. In that instant he could see why Obi-Wan was to be a Jedi.
Then Obi-Wan turned away, breaking their eye contact to dress in silence. While he dressed, Xanatos was again digging through his own backpack, silently cursing his disorganized ways and forgetting his frustration immediately as he found what he was looking for. The boy was barely dressed before Xanatos snatched up Obi-Wan's backpack and tossed it at him, hard enough that the padawan stumbled backwards when he caught it.
"Now get out."
Shock registered on Obi-Wan's face and he stood there uncertainly, his backpack hanging from slack fingers. Xanatos lips tightened and he threw what he had been searching for at the boy's feet. Obi-Wan's lightsaber.
"I said get out!" he shouted, the words echoing through the small cave. Get out, his mind pleaded wearily. Get out, before I change my mind.
Obi-Wan automatically reached down and picked up his lightsaber, staring at the cylinder in his hand as if he'd never seen it before. He raised his eyes again to
Xanatos's, a thousand questions in them that Xanatos ignored, refusing to answer even if he was able. Finally, Obi-Wan took a stumbling step backwards, then another before he turned and ran out of the cave. He paused briefly at the entrance, looking back and at that moment he was outlined in the bright sunlight, and Xanatos caught his breath, greedily memorizing the sight. The boy was so young, so beautiful...and not his.
And then he was gone.
Xanatos watched until he disappeared from sight and then sank back down on the bedroll, burying his face in the blankets. He inhaled deeply and could smell sweat, the musky scent of their lovemaking and, just faintly, Obi-Wan's soap, clean and sweetly herbal. Much later, when the dreams came to him again and he smelled that on his imaginary Qui-Gon's skin, he would think of Obi-Wan and awaken, spending the rest of those nights remembering a boy that could never be his as he stared out into the darkness until morning.
Laying there on the bedroll, eyes dry and unseeing, Xanatos whispered softly, to no one at all, "Goodbye, brat. I hope that we never meet again."
*
Stumbling down the hill, Obi-Wan barely caught himself from falling headfirst several times before he reached the bottom and then he took off at a dead run, his backpack bouncing on his shoulders as he fled almost desperately towards the encampment where he knew his master to be. Mind carefully blank, all he concentrated on was running, on getting to his master.
It was hours later when he finally slowed, lungs burning and weak with fatigue. He walked over to a large tree, staggering slightly as he all but fell at the base, leaning against it. Clutching at the growing cramp in his side from overexertion, he slumped down to the ground, trying to slow his breathing and to not think. He was not going to think about what he had done, not at all, he thought fiercely, even as his eyes burned. Not yet, not now. Later he could think about it.
The sound was faint at first, a low hum in his ears and it took him a moment to recognize it. Sitting up slowly, his hand going to his
lightsaber, Obi-Wan rolled to his feet, looking for the source of the sound.
A large land vehicle broke through the underbrush bare moments later and before Obi-Wan could ignite his saber he heard a familiar voice.
"Obi-Wan!" His master jumped from the vehicle before it had even stopped and Obi-Wan just watched, a mixture of fear and guilt rising up from his stomach to choke him as Qui-Gon approached him. To his shock, he found himself captured in a rough hug, Qui-Gon actually lifting him from the ground as he held him tightly.
A moment's hesitation and then Obi-Wan returned the hug fiercely, clinging desperately to the comfort his master's embrace offered. Long minutes passed before Qui-Gon finally set him back on his feet, although he didn't let Obi-Wan go.
"We've been searching for you since the storm broke. I was beginning to think..." Qui-Gon broke off whatever he was going to say with another hug before he pulled back again, smiling down at his padawan. "Are you all right, Obi-Wan? I took years off my life worrying about you."
"I'm fine, Master," Obi-Wan replied softly, and then winced at his own subdued voice. He was well aware of how he must look in his dirty, rumpled clothes and he felt sticky and sweaty from his long run...as well as from other activities but his mind skittered away from that thought. Qui-Gon must have noticed his unease because he frowned slightly, a large hand cupping Obi-Wan's chin as he tilted the boy's face upward, studying it.
"Are you sure, Padawan?" he asked, eyes dark with concern. It was gently asked, but by using Obi-Wan's title, Qui-Gon was demanding the truth, asking as his master.
Swallowing hard, Obi-Wan nodded. "It wasn't anything I couldn't handle," he said, forcing a note of cheerfulness into his voice. Qui-Gon smiled at that, clapping him on the shoulder and guiding him back to the vehicle, whose driver was watching them with bored apathy.
"I'm sure that you handled it as best you could, my Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, somewhat thoughtfully, his eyes narrowing at the sight of a small mark on the side Obi-Wan's neck. Obi-Wan was oblivious to his scrutiny and when Qui-Gon offered an arm to him, he took it, snuggling into his master's unusual but certainly appreciated embrace as the vehicle started its long journey back to the camp. He was asleep in minutes, drowsing as Qui-Gon's hands soothingly petted his hair. The Jedi master continued his stroking long after Obi-Wan had drifted off, watching his padawan sleep as he offered what comfort he could for reasons he only partly understood but would never ask.
There were some things that could be understood without questions.
*
It was late morning when he had finally finished packing his belongings, and Xanatos hitched his pack over his shoulder easily.
Pausing at the entrance of the cave, he studied it critically. There was nothing left there, no trace that anyone had ever been here, save his own memories. A slight nod of satisfaction and he walked outside, carefully making his way down the slope and just as carefully not allowing himself to remember the trip he had made up it, carrying the limp figure of an unconscious boy as well as both their backpacks, with the winds of the rising storm howling around them.
But there was no wind now, no clouds marring the blue of the sky as Xanatos made his way through the trees to where his ship was hidden. There was only the brilliance of the sun, comfortably warm as the coolness of morning was slowly vanishing.
It was going to be a beautiful day.
-finis-
Comments and questions to: bsp; mailto:keelywolfe@gmail.com
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