It hadn't taken long for Raito to realize his
life was going to be irrevocably changed. Spying a small notebook
one afternoon had elevated the boring normalcy of it all and the
outline of his existence from child to student to worker had taken a
turn for the far more interesting.
Still, none of that had led him to believe he'd ever be sitting in
an expensive hotel room helping the investigators who wanted to see
him executed.
At the moment, they were reviewing the files of criminals who had
already been killed, searching for any small clue. It was tedious
work and there were plenty of files left to go through. Raito sat in
the middle of the room with the laptop he'd been provided with on
the coffee table as he scrolled through yet another file. L was
sitting on the floor with his own computer, close to the window with
one knee drawn up so he could rest his chin on it.
Couldn't he sit normally to do anything, Raito thought irritably.
Two other investigators were in another room but Raito knew they
were searching for the whereabouts of the missing woman, Naomi.
Thinking about that made him want to smirk and instead Raito
returned his attention to his computer, scanning each file
diligently for information he knew didn't exist. Whatever L's
reasoning for asking him here, it certainly didn't have to do with
these criminals but that didn't mean he shouldn't search properly.
But it was one thing to expect some kind of trap; it was another
thing entirely to wait for it to be sprung on him.
"Didn't any of the other investigators want to help?" he asked,
idly. Probably it was their shift to sleep.
L didn't look up from the screen. "I didn't ask any of them."
That was interesting enough to make him pause. "Why not?"
"I prefer to go through the files myself."
"But you asked me to help."
L looked up briefly. "You have a good attention to detail."
And if there was a detail that Raito did not report to him, it would
increase suspicion. It was a rather pathetic attempt to trip him up
and it couldn't possible work, besides. There were no details to
find unless L himself had put them there. All the more reason to pay
close attention to what he was doing.
"Please do thank your father for allowing you stay so late," L
added, almost absently. His keyboard clicked softly as he typed.
"I will, but you'll probably be able to tell him yourself. He's
feeling much better--I'm sorry, am I distracting you by talking?"
Raito asked contritely. Dark eyes flickered towards him, briefly,
and then back to his own computer and for just a moment Raito
remembered how they looked tightly closed beneath him, the even line
of teeth digging into his lip as L struggled to remain soundless. He
blinked it away and focused instead on the ghost image of the
computer screen that was aching in his eyes.
"No, of course not."
Raito glanced at the other room. The door was open just a crack and
he could see the other investigators that he knew only by false
names sitting with their own folders, heads resting tiredly on their
hands. "Then do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Go ahead," L said. He shifted, moving to draw his other leg up and
rested his chin on both knees as he scrolled to the next file and
Raito ignored the sudden flash of his own annoyance that he couldn't
even look at him while they spoke.
"Why do you think I am more likely to be Kira now that we've slept
together?" he asked with deliberate crudeness, though he lowered his
voice slightly, just in case. No need to bring anyone else in for
this conversation, now was there.
If he'd expected L to blush or stammer upon mentioning their brief
tryst he would have been disappointed. Instead, he got a brief
glance, wide eyes barely curious. "Why do you think?"
Raito curled his lips in irritation. A question with a question, of
course.
"Well, if I were Kira, it's possible that I would want to try to get
involved with you on the chance that you might develop feelings for
me and stop the investigation," Raito said thoughtfully. He laughed
a little and shook his head. "I don't think Kira would think like
that, though. It's far too romantic and better suited to a cheap
novel."
"You don't think that Kira is a romantic, with the way he is killing
criminals to make himself a hero?" L sounded bored and Raito ground
his teeth. Bastard.
"No, for the same reason I think we all believe Kira is a man.
History tells us that women serial killers who aren't simply in it
for some kind of profit tend to be nurses or healers, in a sort of
strange Munchausen's By Proxy syndrome. If they do concentrate on
killing men, then it's because they hate all men, not just
criminals. It's men who kill people they consider lessers, like
prostitutes, in a misguided attempt to rid the world of evil."
There was a tea tray on the floor near L and he poured himself
another cup, sipping it thoughtfully. "You don't think those men
suffer from the same hatred of all women?"
Raito laughed. "I'm not a psychologist. I just call it as I see it."
That raised an interesting question though. "Do you think Kira could
be a woman?"
L did look at him then, his dark eyes lingering. "No."
They held gazes for a long moment and L looked away first, back to
the computer screen. His fingers were too thin and wandered over the
keyboard restlessly. Too thin, but remarkably strong and Raito had
seen bruises from them in the mirror the next day.
"All right, then, if you take away the emotional context, I would
think the next likely conclusion would be another contest of wills,"
Raito said decisively. It was amazingly easy to play this game at
times. If he kept it foremost in his thoughts that he was not Kira
then it was simple to point out possible motivations without
connecting them to himself. It's all how you play the game. Every
game. "You and Kira have been opponents since you challenged him on
television so if you believe that I am Kira then you must expect
that motivation from all my actions."
"Yes," L said agreeably. He rubbed his thumb over his lips in slow,
thoughtful circles that held Raito's eyes almost hypnotically until
he realize he was staring and looked away. If L had noticed him
watching, he gave no sign.
Raito leaned forward in his chair and propped on elbow on his knee
so he could rest his chin in his hand. "What interests me more is
why you would sleep with Kira."
"Does it?" L bit his thumb lightly. "Wouldn't my reasons be quite
similar to Kira's?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Your suggestions apply to both of us, don't they?"
That took Raito aback somewhat. "You would compare yourself to
Kira?"
"Of course. Our actions and intentions aren't the same but that
doesn't make our motivations entirely different, does it?"
"Maybe, although you are bound by the law in a way that he isn't.
For example, I wouldn't think you would normally risk sleeping with
someone during an investigation. But then, this has been anything
but a normal investigation. You also wouldn't normally show anyone
your face."
"True." Thoughtfully. There was no flat accent in his voice, no
harsh edges. Words roll lightly, smoothly, from L's tongue and it
made Raito wonder even more exactly where L was from. A few years in
England, he knew, where else had he been to shape his voice. "You
did miss one point."
"Did I?"
"You didn't say anything about the two of us simply wanting sex."
Almost...was he teasing?
Bastard.
"No, I didn't." he said flatly. "That's far too simplistic for
either of you."
"Is that a compliment?" His mouth was hidden behind his hand so
there was no telling if there was a smile behind it.
"An observation," Raito corrected coolly. "Well, what do you think?"
"I think you've raised some interesting points." There was a
calmness in his voice, almost disinterest and at that moment, if
Raito had known L's name he would have killed him right then and it
wouldn't have been a simple heart attack.
"You're not going to tell me which one is correct?"
"No." And then as if sensing Raito's growing anger, he added, "When
I gave you information on the Kira case before, it was because we
were two investigators working on the same case. In that situation,
it didn't matter if you were Kira or not. However, in this the
conclusions you draw won't provide any evidence that will lead us to
Kira. So I'm afraid you're investigating my intentions on your own."
"I see."
"But that leads me to a question." L leaned back on one elbow,
stretching out his legs. "What about Raito, the college student, who
is helping with this investigation? Why would he have sex with me?"
"You tell me."
He did smile then, faintly. "See? You do learn quickly."
"Well, then. When all things are considered, whether or not I am
Kira, then there really isn't a good reason not to do it again,"
Raito smirked, and he told himself it didn't matter what L said next
because they were going to do it again. He'd known it since the
first moment he spoke.
L seemed to consider it, eyes on the ceiling before he lowered them
again to Raito's. "No, there really isn't."
He stood slowly, in that strangely graceful and yet nearly clumsy
way he had, and spread his hands, offering. Raito studied him with
cold eyes. He stood like he was trying to make himself shorter,
looking out from beneath the wild tangle of his hair. His pants hung
loosely from his hips, bagging at the ankles and half-concealing his
bare feet, and his exposed toes were as perfectly pale as the rest
of him. All but his hair and eyes that drew other eyes to him, hands
to touch.
Raito closed the lid of his laptop and realized his fingers were
trembling, just a little. Not nervous but he wanted to do this so
badly, had since that first time....
Ryuuku would be amused.
For a moment, he couldn't decide how to go to him. The time before
he could claim his grief as inspiration but what would make him more
suspicious to L this time? Could he mimic shyness, would it even be
believed? If he did any less would L see him for who he truly was?
But Kira couldn't be the only one who would see the gentle slump of
those shoulders and want to push them down until those dark eyes
would look up at him from the floor and for a moment Raito wanted
that so badly he could barely breathe.
Instead, he stepped closer, slid a finger under L's chin to raise
his head before he kissed him. It was like the first time, pushing
his tongue against closed lips until they parted, just barely, and
let him inside to tease and coax until L decided to play along.
Completely like the bastard to try to make him beg for it and Raito
sank his teeth gently into L's lower lip, worrying it to the edge of
pain before he let it go.
There was a noise from the other room and the two of them jerked
apart at the same time, and there was a little satisfaction in the
quickness of L's breathing.
"Come on," Raito murmured, catching L's wrist. No resistance this
time when he pulled him into the bedroom and he had L's shirt half
off before the door was even closed. His skin was cool, perfect
white, the faint puffiness of his bitten lip the only injury until
Raito skimmed lower, fingertips searching and finding the darkened
places where they had touched before. Faint bruises like paint drops
along on his hips and L stood completely naked in front of him,
completely unselfconscious even with Raito completely dressed in
front of him. He leaned in again, pressing L back against the door
and sucked at his bruised lip greedily.
"Would you let me fuck you again?" Raito whispered into his mouth,
"Do you want to?" The first he'd said since they'd started this.
Raito didn't answer him, bit at his lip again in a mockery of a
reply and yes, he wanted to fuck him, wanted something from
him.
L's wrists were thin and felt oddly fragile in his grip, and when
Raito pushed him down on the bed he went without a breath of
protest, rising up on his knees and resting his head on his folded
arms. His hands still trembled, worse than before when he opened his
pants and he couldn't think of why, he'd even done this before there
was no reason for it. The lubricant he'd used before was still on
the side table, crumpled in the middle and he slicked his fingers
with it, slid two of them inside without a warning.
It earned him a sound, finally, a sharp inhalation edged with a
whimper and it thrilled something dark and bloody inside him, and
damn, he couldn't wait. He'd wanted something more, wanted to see if
he could get more from L, to have him on his knees, sucking him off
but if he couldn't have that at least L was on his knees and waiting
for him.
The first push inside was harder than the first time, prying his way
in so much slower. Through half closed eyes he watched L's knuckles
go white as he clutched handfuls of the bed sheets and he made that
sound again, sweet and high and deep in his throat and Raito
grinned damply to hear it, pushing in suddenly hard and yes, God,
yes, L whimpered and writhed beneath him, shoving back suddenly hard
and dragged an unwilling cry from Raito.
He bit his tongue and tasted blood, his hands sliding in sweat where
they clutched at L's hips and he was so hot inside, moving and
wriggling, his deathly stillness of the first time utterly
forgotten.
"Come on, Raito!" L hissed suddenly, nearly startling him to
stillness and the sound he made next was nearly a growl. Not broken,
not begging at all, L demanded of him and Raito was the helpless
one, helpless to stop and if he couldn't stop then at the very least
he would get what he wanted from this. He thought he could feel L's
pulse from the inside, clashing with his own and his hands still
shook, his nails digging into pale skin to leave purple crescents in
their wake.
It was incredible, trying to push deeper, feeling friction burn his
knees against the cheap coverlet, sweat dripping from them both and
L crooned something that sounded like yes beneath him and suddenly
he knew. Why his hands shook, why he wanted this so completely. He
didn't want to kill L, not to simply kill him. He wanted to own him,
to use him. To bite the smooth line of his shoulder and see the
teeth marks fill with blood.
He wanted to hear L beg him, wanted to possess him.
Raito threaded his fingers into L's hair and pulled his head back,
forcing gentleness. Tongued a line down his throat and felt him
shudder, wondered what other sounds he could pull from that smooth
throat.
He wanted to hear L scream.
It wasn't to be this time, only a faint groan as the sudden,
slippery weight of semen filled his hand like a surge of reality.
Raito clenched his fingers around it, closed his eyes and ground in
as deeply as he could, and didn't care at all if Kira would have
done the same thing.
L's skin was incredibly soft, still damp with sweat as Raito stroked
his back. Wasn't that what a college student in the first throes of
infatuation would do?
"So, how are your suspicions about me being Kira now?"
L barely opened his eyes, a dark gleam peering out at him. "You tell
me."
Raito allowed him his barriers, for now. Already new plans were
churning in his mind, a decision made. Killing L was far too simple,
he realized that now. Writing a name in the death note was reserved
for those who were unworthy of living, criminals who deserved
nothing more. L was something else entirely.
It was the duty of a God to punish unbelievers.
He pulled the blanket over them both, still touching soft, bare
skin. Later, when he woke in the dark he was alone, the door open
just enough for him to hear the soft clatter of fingers on a
keyboard. L searching for Kira. Raito smiled to himself and slid
deeper beneath the blankets.
You'll find me, eventually. But maybe I'll get to choose the
terms.
-finis-
Comments and questions to:
mailto:keelywolfe@gmail.com
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