In Defense of Things Beautiful

by Keelywolfe

The suns were just setting over the central part of Coruscant, casting the Council Chamber of the Jedi in a soft, reddish glow. They were listening to a representative of the Telkarian's plead for their intervention. Telkar was an outer rim planet, not under the Jedi's jurisdiction, and so careful consideration must be taken before the council decided to take action.

Off to the side, standing respectfully quiet to watch proceedings, were one Jedi knight and his apprentice. The fact that they had been invited to this meeting meant that if the council decided to act, Qui-Gon and his Padawan would be sent to deal with it.

Obi-Wan resolutely pushed aside his excitement at the thought, knowing it would earn his a reproving glare from his master. Adventure, Excitement, a Jedi craves not these things, he recited mentally.

Qui-Gon must have picked that much up, because he sent his Padawan an amused glance before returning his attention to the more important matters.

The Telkarian's were a humanoid species, with pale green skin and luminescent yellow eyes. The representative was a young woman, with a shock of white hair that hung shaggily around her face.

It was a species Obi-Wan had never seen before, their planet was not a part of the Republic and the Telkarian's themselves were not force-sensitive, so none of them had trained at the Jedi Temple.

"...so you see, we are in desperate need of your help, there is no one else for us to turn to." The representative bowed low before the council and waited.

Not a word was spoken, but nonetheless, the council debated the situation. Telkarian's were not only Force-blind, but they were not easily probed either. What little could be felt from the representative indicated her sincerity and her fear for her people. Her people were battling among themselves and a civil war seemed inevitable. Still, there was a chance that proper negotiations could avert the crisis.

"Very well," Mace Windu spoke then. "We will send assistance to your planet."

Not quite an hour later, Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice boarded the Telkarian ship. The ship's captain greeted them. Aside from the much shorter length of her hair, she could have been the representative's twin.

"It is an honor to have you here, sirs." She bowed to them and turned. "Come, I will lead you to your quarters." Walking through a corridor, the entire ship rocked as it took off, knocking them all off-balance. A mental warning shifted inside him and Qui-Gon whirled, reaching for his lightsaber. A second too late. The stun bolt caught him in the chest and knocked him backwards. He barely had time to see his student fall before unconsciousness overcame him.

It was the pain that woke him; his brain was trying to pound its way out of his skull. Qui-Gon made to move but every nerve in his body shrieked in protest. An after- effect of the stun he realized. He opened his eyes, and immediately closed them again as a wave of nausea came over him. He calmed himself, reaching out to the Force to assist in his healing, as he had done hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times before.

He felt nothing.

His eyes snapped open at this, shock pushing aside sickness. His mind searched frantically for the familiar touch that had surrounded him, like a protective parent, his entire life.

Nothing.

"Don't bother with your little Jedi mind tricks, we've taken care of that little problem." The statement was punctuated by a low chuckle; Qui-Gon forced his head to turn, despite his protesting nerves. The Telkarian captain was seated nearby.

As his vision cleared he realized he was in the ship's sickbay. Another Telkarian approached him holding a hypodermic. He struggled weakly but she overpowered him easily, injecting him.

"Don't worry." The Captain spoke again, "It's to counter the effect of the stun. They hit you harder than they were supposed to, but they didn't want to take a chance." She seemed to find this amusing and chuckled at her own words.

She stood then and walked over to him. "You were much easier to capture than I had thought. The rumors about you Jedi must be exaggerated." She traced a finger down the side of his face, lightly stroked his beard. Qui-Gon flinched back, and she laughed. "Of course, this helped as well." Her finger trailed its way back upwards and lightly touched his temple.

He managed to raise his own hand, at least the hadn't lied about the injection, and touched his temple. He found a smooth metal bump imbedded in his skin.

"It dampens your mental abilities, or so I'm told. Since objects aren't flying about the room, I'll assume its true."

"Why..." Qui-Gon rasped, the muscles in his throat were so tight it hurt to speak.

"Why did we do this?" the captain finished. Her face took on a grim cast, belying her earlier amusement. "We didn't lie about the war. Unfortunately, I don't need a Jedi as a mediator as much as I need one as a bargaining tool. My...benefactor, is willing to pay a hefty price for a Jedi Knight, unharmed. And with that kind of money we have a good chance to win the war." The cheery light came back to her face, "And by a remarkable piece of luck, I got not just a Jedi Knight, but a Jedi Master and his apprentice."

Qui-Gon went cold at the mention of his apprentice. The boy was nowhere in sight.

"Where. Is. He." He managed to grit out.

"Worried about him?" The Captain stroked his cheek again and this time he managed to pull back. She laughed quietly at his response. "He's fine, he just woke up before you did. In fact..." She glanced at the chronometer. "You should be well enough to join him now. Come on."

Again, he was led down a corridor, but this time with an entourage of guards. The walk helped clear his head and by the time he was thrust into a darkened room, he was feeling almost normal. Except for his severance from the Force. It was like a raw wound inside him and he shivered, the room feeling suddenly cold. This was unlike any situation he had ever dealt with before and he had to force aside tendrils of fear that were rising up in him. No. He was a Jedi Master and he would -not- give into to fear. Ever.

A soft whimper caught his attention and he turned to discover his apprentice huddle in a corner, his cloak wrapped tightly around him. The young man was visibly trembling and any residual fear vanished in a wave of concern for his student.

"Obi-Wan? Are you hurt?" He knelt next to his Padawan and rested a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"N-n-no, I'm just s-so c-cold. I'm s-s-so c-cold." Saying that he was cold was like saying that space was big, but there was no other word to explain how he felt, that icy void that was inside him. Never had he felt so alone, cut away from everything, he felt as if the entire universe had died and nothing around him was real. He knew his master was sitting next to him, but that was a cheat, a lie, it wasn't -real-, their link was gone. Tremors were racking his body now, his teeth chattering loudly.

Qui-Gon was now truly afraid for his student. Touching his face revealed clammy skin and the younger man's eyes were dilated so much that only a thin rim of color showed around his pupils. In shock, he realized. Being stunned and then abruptly cut off from the Force had traumatized him. He pulled Obi-Wan into his arms, practically into his lap as if he were still a child, and wrapped his own cloak around them both.

"Shhh, it's all right." He rocked his Padawan gently and the tremors eased. Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his master and clung tightly. The Jedi master began pressing soft kisses to young man's hair, making soft, meaningless sounds of comfort. Later, neither of them would clearly remember how it began, when the soothing caresses changed and the gentle kisses turned to passion. But the change was swift and in moments they were kissing frantically, clothes tugged back to reveal soft skin.

Obi-Wan fumbled with his master's clothes, wanting, needing to touch smooth skin and warm flesh, to prove that he wasn't alone, that this was real. Finally, the robes were pushed aside and he could bury his face into that warmth, that reality. He inhaled deeply, absorbing the clean scent that was his master's alone.

Qui-Gon was lost, lost to the need to touch, to be. His own separation from the Force stripped away his control and he knew only that he needed to be with this young man, to feel his body as he couldn't feel his mind. He jerked open Obi- Wan's tunic, dimly hearing the fabric tear through the roaring in his ears. They both tore away the offending fabric that separated their bodies, both only half naked when Qui-Gon jerked his apprentice's knees apart and up, his cock felt like iron and all he could think of was being inside the tight heat of the body beneath him.

Obi-Wan cried out when his master found the entrance of his body and without preamble, thrust inside. It hurt, by the Force it hurt, but he wanted it, needed more, needed to fill the void inside him. He strained towards that hardness that was plunging inside him and begged in strangled whispers for more.

Those pleas swam in Qui-Gon's mind and he strove to give more, all conscious thought replaced be driving need. The younger man beneath him stiffened suddenly and nearly screamed, his hands knotting in Qui-Gon's hair as he reached his peak, the warm wetness of his release coating both their stomachs. Qui-Gon thrust one final time, the muscles surrounding his cock tightened almost painfully, forcing his release and he swallowed his own scream of pleasure as he collapsed onto the other man, both sticky with sweat and semen.

The next morning the Captain went to check on her captives and found them both sitting quietly on the floor. They both were completely cowed, she noted with scorn. Some warriors, but she had expected little less from men. On her planet, women were the rulers, strong warriors who did not step back from battle. That was the problem right now, a few men had gotten the idea somehow that they were equals of the women and were fighting against the ruling class. Fools, all of them.

She leaned forward to touch the older man, and it was here that her over-confidence failed her. Faster than she would believe possible the weak man moved in a blur, grabbing her blaster and yanking her to him. She felt the tip of the blaster under her chin and froze.

Her guards stood uncertainly, blasters pointed at them but they didn't fire for fear of hitting their captain. Qui-Gon tightened his grip on the slim woman.

"I want these devices taken off of us, now! His first, then mine." The blaster dug into the soft flesh under her jaw and it took a bit of effort on her part to laugh.

"Please. You're a Jedi, you aren't about to shoot an unarmed captive, even to save your own skin." Before anyone could react, the Jedi Master calmly shot one of the guards before returning his aim to the captain.

"My own skin, perhaps not," he hissed in the Captain's ear, the words unheard by the others over the fallen man's screams, "But I'm not the only one here and I suggest you don't test what lengths I'm willing to go for him."

They hardly spoke on the way back to Coruscant. After tending to the wounded man, it had only been a flesh wound, as Qui-Gon had intended, Obi-Wan joined his master, who was piloting the craft. Obi-Wan settled into the co-pilots seat and they both sat there in the almost palatable silence. He wanted desperately to talk to his master, to discuss what had happened, to say -something- but the older man's shields were up so tightly he might as well been a million light years away instead of sitting not a meter from him.

Never since they had been come Master and Padawan had he been so closed off from the man and now he was experiencing it twice in one day. He shivered unconsciously, remembering that coldness, that emptiness and wrapped his arms around himself, seeking warmth. He wondered if he would ever be warm again.

Qui-Gon didn't look at his apprentice but saw that shiver anyway and something inside him twisted as it struggled to respond to that pain. He crushed it ruthlessly and concentrated on piloting.

Qui-Gon stood before the council alone, relaying the information from their mission. He left nothing out, not the fact that he had all but raped his apprentice, not his shooting of the guard. The council listened in silence as Qui-Gon spoke, eyes fixed forward and his tone completely dispassionate. He may as well have been a droid for all the emotion he displayed.

The council was not fooled. Tight as Qui-Gon's shields were they could not withstand the probing of so many Jedi- trained minds. He fell silent as he felt their explorations, allowing them access. He didn't always agree with the council, but this might be the last time he stood before them. He at least owed them his honesty.

It was Master Yoda who broke the silence. "Speak to the boy on this, we must."

The first flicker of emotion since he'd entered the chambers flashed over Qui-Gon's face. "Surely that isn't necessary, he's been through a great deal of trauma and..." Mace Windu held up a hand and he stopped. Of course the council would want to speak to the young man, he had already known that but he'd hoped to spare him any more pain.

"We will see your apprentice and then we will make our decision."

Obi-Wan stood perfectly still, trying not to visibly react to the sensation of nearly a dozen minds touching his own. He'd been told that the council needed to speak to him but aside from a brief greeting no one had said a word, instead they'd moved on to a more direct manner of approach.

Keeping his mind clear to assist their probing wasn't an easy task. A thousand questions were echoing in him, questions that he dare not ask. He wondered where his master was; they'd separated upon their landing at Coruscant, and what he had told the council. A wave of despair that he couldn't quite dampen washed over him. Most likely he had told the council that his apprentice was unsuitable. He could hardly believe what he had done, practically attacked the older man. It was one thing to have private imaginings about such things but quite another to force them onto a vulnerable partner.

The tightness in his chest grew. He would probably never see Qui-Gon again; he'd never even get a chance to apologize, to beg forgiveness for his thoughtless actions. Wrapped up in his own thoughts, he almost didn't hear Master Windu speaking to him.

"You may go, Obi-Wan. Thank you." he said gently. Obi-Wan bowed low to them and left.

Again, Qui-Gon Jinn stood before the council. He idly wondered if this were the last time he that would be permitted to stand here. A bender of the rules, he had been quite often, but never a breaker of them and what he had done was a most serious violation of the code.

He waited politely for the Council to begin, mentally wishing that they would just get it over with. The soft whoosh of the door surprised him and he turned just in time to see Obi-Wan enter. It was the first time he'd seen him since their arrival days before and deep inside, in a hidden place, his heart ached for the young man. He looked haggard and pale, a testament to all he'd been through recently.

He tore his eyes from the younger man even as he felt the weight of Obi-Wan's eyes upon him. It would all be behind them soon and the young man would recover in time. If only he could say the same of himself.

Before the Council began, Qui-Gon committed a grave breach of etiquette. He spoke before the Council addressed him.

"Masters, I would rather that these proceedings occurred without the presence of Obi-Wan." He felt a wave of disapproval from the Council members at his boldness. Ah, well, a rebel to the end, Qui-Gon thought wryly.

Obi-Wan. Not, my Apprentice or my Padawan, just his name nothing more. Obi-Wan's heart constricted further. He committed his own breach then.

"With all due respect, I wish to be here. I will stand for my own misbehavior." At his words, Qui-Gon finally turned to look at him.

"You are my Padawan, I am responsible for your actions. And aside from that, you have no crimes to answer." The older man's tone was ice cold, but it fanned flames inside Obi- Wan, who tamped the anger down with some effort.

"I am here to stand with you and accept whatever punishment we receive."

"I do not need or want you to be here!" They both stood glaring at each other before another voice broke through their antagonism.

"Are you both quite finished?" Mace Windu asked dryly. Both men had the grace to blush and straighten into a posture of respect. "Thank you. Master Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan is here at our request and he will remain." A muscle twitched in Qui-Gon's cheek but he said nothing. "As to the... situation, it is the decision of the Council that there was no one responsible and that you handled a difficult predicament to the best of your abilities. Obi-Wan will remain in your care, Master Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan almost sagged to the floor in his relief. The tension of the past few days drained away, leaving him weak. He was just about to bow to the Council and depart when he heard his Master speak again.

"I'm afraid that won't be acceptable." The entire Council froze at his words, a soft murmur going through the room.

"Not acceptable? No longer do you want Obi-Wan Kenobi as your Padawan apprentice?" Sheer disbelief colored Master Yoda's soft voice.

Silence rose stiflingly in the Council Chambers as they waited, all eyes but Obi-Wan's on the man standing center. A moment or an eternity later, Qui-Gon finally spoke.

"No."

The flame of hope that had risen in Obi-Wan at the Council's decision was abruptly extinguished. Before the entire Council the light in his eyes died and he stood, an empty shell. He was dimly shocked that so much pain could be caused by one tiny word.

Yoda broke the stunned silence once again, speaking slowly, "A mistake this is, but pressure him on you we cannot. Another master will be found."

And without another word Qui-Gon bowed low to the Council and left the room, not even sparing a glance toward his now-former apprentice.

Qui-Gon Jinn was a Jedi Master, had achieved that level years ago. He knew every meditation technique taught as well as a few that he had created himself. And not one of them was working for him tonight.

He couldn't get Obi-Wan's face out of his mind. The look on his face that Qui-Gon had only seen out of the corner of his eyes, that...emptiness.

He ignored the echoing emptiness inside himself. He had made the right choice, the only choice.

It wasn't because of what had happened. He could admit to himself now that it had been no one's fault, not really, just a reaction to being abruptly severed from the force. No, that wasn't the reason he could no longer teach Obi- Wan, his reason's were infinitely worse.

He wanted it to happen again. Not just wanted, craved it, needed it. If he closed his eyes he could see that beautiful young man beneath him again, face sweat-dampened and the soft sweet sounds of pleasure that he had made...No! No, he could not, -would- not accept that. He could not force his student that way, not Obi-Wan.

"Seeking peace, you are. Regretting your decision." Qui-Gon started at the quiet voice, so caught up in his thoughts he hadn't felt the other approach. Yoda stood at his elbow, leaning on the cane he always carried.

"Whether or not I regret it is irrelevant," Qui-Gon said, resolutely staring straight ahead, refusing to look at the elder master. "It was necessary, the boy deserves better than I have given him, he needs a new master." Yoda was shaking his head sadly before Qui-Gon finished.

"No new master will be needed." Qui-Gon took a deep breath but his protests died unspoken as Yoda continued. "No master at all will be needed. Obi-Wan has left the temple, know not where he has gone." Nearly a full minute passed before Qui-Gon exploded.

"What! How could he do that, how could he just throw aside his training..." Yoda's soft, child-like voice broke through his tirade.

"Easy it is to throw away training, when his master has thrown him away."

Qui-Gon fell silent. He sat, motionless until with a slight nod he stood and left the room. Yoda watched him go, his lips curved into a faint smile.

"No new master will be needed," he murmured. Then his smile was replaced by a frown. Now that he had dealt with this the Council had more important matters to worry about. Like who was trying to capture a Jedi and for what purpose.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath of fresh air as he stepped out of the transport. Looking around, he smiled as he realized that it was just as beautiful as he remembered. He had been to Aldeeran years ago on a mission with his ma...with Qui-Gon, he corrected mentally, and had been fascinated then by its beauty and tranquility. Tranquility that he desperately needed right now.

He smoothed his hands uncomfortably over his clothes. After so many years of wearing Jedi robes it felt strange to wear anything else. But he had left the temple and no longer had the right to wear the robes. He'd left his lightsaber as well and he ached over its loss. Having built it himself it had been special to him. The only thing he'd retained from his previous life was his Padawan braid. He couldn't let go of it, not just yet. Resolutely, he pushed those thoughts aside. That was the past and now it was time to look forward.

He wandered aimlessly for a time, taking in the scenery before he stumbled over a small park. Complete with a running stream and a group of teenagers playing ball in one corner, it was a perfect picture of serenity. He found himself drawn in before he even realized what he was doing.

He settled himself on the soft grass beneath a tree and in moments was deeply into his meditation, tension that he'd been carrying for what felt like years easing.

He had been sitting, perfectly still, for well over an hour when he felt a faint ripple in the Force, a warning. Acting on sheer reflex he plucked the ball out of the air barely a moment before it would have struck him in the head.

The teenagers' cries of warning died on their lips as they stared at him in wonder and shock. One of them finally gathered himself enough to jog over to where Obi-Wan was still sitting.

"Are you all right?" the young man panted, "That was incredible! How did you -do- that?" Obi-Wan shrugged off the praise, handing the ball to teenager.

"Good reflexes I guess," Obi-wan said. The other man grinned.

"I guess! Hey, you want to play, uh,"

"Ben. My name is Ben." The lie came to him uneasily. He wasn't exactly hiding, but the fewer people who knew his identity the better.

"Ben, good to meet you. I'm Bail, Bail Organa. So, Ben, you want to play?" Bail's cheerfulness was infectious and Obi- Wan found himself smiling unwillingly.

"I appreciate the offer, Bail, but not right now. Perhaps some other time?"

"Sure, another time," he said agreeably. "Well, catch you later, Ben." With a wave he turned and raced back to his friends and the game quickly resumed.

Obi-Wan tried to sink back into his meditative trance, but his concentration was broken and with a sigh he stood. He needed to find a place to stay for the night anyway.

He was scarcely out of the park when he rounded a corner and ran smack into a wall. At least it felt like a wall. Looking upward revealed an extremely large, extremely ugly, and now extremely annoyed humanoid. It wasn't a species Obi-Wan had seen before with large, yellowish tusks and beady red eyes.

"Watch where you're going, you oaf!" The humanoid pushed him and, already off balance, he nearly fell but managed to catch himself.

"I beg your pardon," he said politely and moved to step aside before he realized that the creature wasn't alone. A rough circle of about five similar humanoids had formed around him. He groaned silently, this was not good.

The first one chortled, "I beg your pardon?" he mimicked. "I've never seen you around here before pretty boy." He leaned forward and Obi-Wan could smell the stink of his breath. "I like pretty boys, maybe you'd like to be my pretty boy tonight?"

Worse and worse. Obi-Wan took a careful step backwards. "Look, I apologize for running into you, but I'm in a hurry, so..."

Laughter ran through the circle around him. "In a hurry, well, well, I'll speed up for you then, pretty." Obi-Wan sensed the fist coming at him before he saw it, but didn't block. He didn't need to, he simply stepped aside and let the behemoth's own weight topple him to the ground.

At that sight the group around him suddenly decided that this wasn't so funny anymore and Obi-Wan realized he was in real trouble. He could beat them all easily, he knew that wasn't a problem, but it probably wouldn't be good to end his first day here by trouncing the locals. Although allowing them to beat him to a bloody pulp didn't exactly appeal very much either.

Before he could decide on a course of action, he heard someone calling him.

"Ben! Hey, Ben, there you are!" Bail Organa sprinted over to him and, to Obi-Wan's surprise, the others stepped aside uneasily, allowing Bail near him. "Hey Ben, we're going to be late for dinner. You know how much my father hates that. C'mon. Oh, hi Ohog," The huge male was just pulling himself to his feet, glowering at them both, but he said nothing. Obi-Wan let himself be pulled away by the cheerful teenager, not speaking until they were out of earshot.

"Thank you," he murmured. Bail grinned.

"Not a problem, my friend. Those guys are trouble. My father's the ruler of Alderaan, "he continued, blithely ignoring Obi-Wan's startled look, "And he'd be upset if I let a newcomer get clobbered." He was still practically dragging Obi-Wan with him. "I wasn't kidding about being late though, we better hurry."

"Oh, I couldn't..."Obi-Wan stammered, but Bail cut him off.

"It's OK, my parents won't mind."

Won't mind was something of an understatement. The Elder Organa's, who turned out to be just as friendly and easygoing as their son, were delighted to have a guest for dinner. He answered their questions politely, but carefully, not wanting to reveal too much. Upon hearing that he didn't have a place to stay, they immediately insisted that he stay with them for a time. He protested weakly, protests that they brushed aside and, somewhat bemused, Obi-Wan found himself in their guestroom.

Staying with the Organa's seemed to be just the balm his wounded soul needed. Bail and his father were gone during the day, performing their political functions and Dala Organa, Bail's mother, left their guest at peace. She saw him in the gardens often, deep in meditation, and her sympathetic heart ached for the young man, who seemed far too young for the burden that he appeared to carry.

Other times, Obi-Wan helped Dala with the chores that she insisted upon doing, despite the servant droids in the household. The two quickly formed a bond; both charmed by the other. Obi-Wan wondered fleetingly at what he had missed by being at the Jedi Academy, but pushed the thought aside firmly. It had been worth it, for although he would now never be a Jedi, he had memories to carry him through his life, wherever the future took him.

If there was one dark spot in his contentment, it was Qui- Gon. That was a wound that he didn't seem to be able to heal. It only took one word, or a fleeting thought for the entire memory of his rejection to flood back to him and rip the wound open again.

He had been at the Organa's home for nearly one standard month before that hurt was finally dealt with. One evening, he was sitting in the garden after dinner, as was his habit, when he heard Bail approach. The younger man settled himself comfortably on the bench next to him and they sat in companionable silence.

The two young men had become good friends. Actually, it would be difficult for anyone -not- to like Bail, Obi-Wan thought ruefully, he would be an excellent politician. The niggling guilt he felt at lying to the younger man pushed itself to the fore again. As if he could hear Obi-Wan's thoughts, Bail settled a gentle hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, the soft touch finally pushing through Obi-Wan's reservations.

"Bail, I wanted to tell you that...I lied to you about who I was when I first met you." They didn't look at each other, both still watching the sunset, but Obi-Wan saw Bail nod, much to his own surprise.

"I was wondering when you'd say. I knew you were a Jedi when I saw you catch that ball." He chuckled, "Only someone with Jedi training has reflexes that good. I didn't recognize you until a few days later though." Words failed Obi-Wan and he sank back against the bench. "I saw you here before, years ago, with your Master, Qui-Gon, I believe his name was." They were both silent for a moment, then Bail asked gently, "Obi-Wan, what happened?"

Slowly, painfully, Obi-Wan told him. Bail said nothing, passed no judgments, simply nodding encouragingly whenever Obi-Wan stumbled or emotion overcame him. The outpouring seemed to cleanse something within him in a way that meditation hadn't. And finally, exhausted, he finished.

"Thank you for telling me, my friend." Bail was quiet, his normally cheerful face pensive. "I don't think that Qui-Gon meant to hurt you, I..." the abrupt ripple in the force came too late, there was no time for defense. Bail and Obi-Wan both collapsed, unconscious.

Bail Organa Sr. was pacing the floor nervously, hoping he had made the right decision. His wife clearly didn't think so and had been regarding him as the worse kind of traitor since he had told her what he had done. The door chime made him jump and he composed himself quickly before answering it.

"Thank you for coming. I contacted you the moment I realized who he was." The tall figure at the door stepped inside.

"I appreciate that very much. I've been searching for him for weeks." The tall man lowered his hood and Qui-Gon Jinn surveyed the elegant home. "Where is he?"

Obi-Wan woke to the sensation of nerves he didn't even know he had throbbing in agony. And something else, something...he closed his eyes in despair as he felt an all-too familiar pressure at his temples and the aching void inside him.

"Well, well, pretty boy decided to wake up" Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open in disbelief.

"Ohog? What the hell do you think you're doing?" The large man moved into Obi-Wan's line of vision.

"I got offered a pretty hefty price for a living, breathing Jedi." He gave Obi-Wan's Padawan braid a painful tug. "You aren't a full Jedi, but I figure I can get -something- for you."

Obi-Wan scanned the room. "Where is Bail?" Ohog scratched his nose and snorted.

"He might be worth money, but I'm not taking a chance on ransoming a King's son, so he's useless to me. We're - disposing- of him." He grinned at Obi-Wan's horrified expression. "Don't worry about him, pretty boy, if I were you, I'd worry about myself.

Bail Organa was not a religious man. Alderaan was very liberal in its beliefs, with several mainstream religions as well as smaller groups. Bail had studied several and had decided to simply leave his options open until something appealed. Right at this moment, however, he was praying to every God, Goddess, Deity, Spirit, whatever, he could remember. Not wanting to shoot him and arouse suspicion, they had decided to simply pitch him out the hatch when the ship was airborne.

Bail wasn't sure why they thought -that- wouldn't be suspicious, like his family would just think he'd decided to try flying without a jetpack, but he wasn't about to argue. At least they hadn't just blasted him. So he sat and waited one of Ohog's friends standing nervously nearby blaster in hand. He'd be lucky if the idiot didn't shoot him by accident, Bail thought sourly. He wondered where Obi-Wan was. Wherever you are my friend, I hope you're doing better than I am, he thought silently.

He nearly screamed at the sudden thump behind him, thinking for an instant that the crazy bastard had shot him. Then, he peeked over his shoulder to see a stranger standing over the unconscious body of his former guard. No, not a stranger, Bail realized, eyes narrowing.

"Qui-Gon Jinn," he guessed. The other man knelt behind him and untied him.

"Where is Obi-Wan?" he said by way of greeting. Bail shook his head.

"I don't know, I...hey wait." Qui-Gon stopped and turned back to the young man.

"Stay here, you'll be safer." Then he turned away and was gone. Bail stared after him for a moment before grabbing the ex-guards blaster and following.

"Like hell I'll stay here."

Qui-Gon made his way down the corridor silently. He couldn't sense exactly where Obi-Wan was, but he knew he was on this transport and there was no hiding on a ship this small.

The first two rooms yielded nothing. He keyed open the third door and sight before him froze his blood. A huge, bloated creature stood there, a Freelian, his mind supplied. He was pressed into a corner, Obi-Wan dangling limply on one of his arms. The other hand held a blaster, pressed to the back of the young human's head.

"Let him go." He let the Force weight his words, using its influence to manipulate the Freelian. His only reaction was to tighten his grip on Obi-Wan.

"Oh, I don't think so. I'm the one with the bargaining chip here." The larger man was panting heavily, nervous. Sweat was running down his face. "Now, put down your little toy and I won't hurt pretty boy here.

Qui-Gon's mind raced, finding a rejecting several possibilities. Any kind of attack would be too risky. If he went along with the Freelian they might at least have a chance. Carefully, he bent down and place his lightsaber on the floor."

"Kick it over to me."

He did as the Freelian asked. The creature laughed then, great snorting guffaws and Qui-Gon realized his mistake. "It's too bad I only had the one disrupter device," Ohog said as he brought his weapon to bear on the Jedi Master. An instant before Qui-Gon would have reacted, used the Force to yank his lightsaber back and deflect the blow the best that he could, a blaster fired. Ohog looked down at himself in disbelief, at the charred hole in the side of his tunic before he collapsed; Obi-Wan slumped boneless next to him.

Bail Organa stood at the open side entrance; a wisp of smoke drifting up from the blaster still clenched tightly in his hand. He stood frozen as Qui-Gon quickly went to his student, his arm dropped limply to his side and the blaster clattered to the floor.

Carefully turning the young man, Qui-Gon pressed a hand to his forehead trying to scan him but the disrupter device still attached to Obi-Wan's temple distorted any information he could glean. He lifted Obi-Wan into his arms as easily as if he were a child and turned back to Bail. The Aldeeranian was the color of oatmeal, still staring at the fallen Freelian.

"Bail." The young man blinked at the sound of Qui-Gon's voice, he focused his attention on the Jedi. "You did what you had to do," Qui-Gon said quietly. Bail took a deep breath and nodded and they both turned and walked out without looking back.

The darkened room was quiet and still, the silence broken only by an occasional soft sound from the bed, whimpers that were quieted as large hands gently soothed the bed's sole occupant.

Qui-Gon was hunched in a chair next to the bed, fighting exhaustion. He had spent hours with Obi-Wan, healing his injuries from both the implant and repeated stuns. Obi-Wan was finally sleeping instead of simply being unconscious. The occasional muscle spasm still racked him but not painfully enough to wake him. The Freelian had stunned him again after he'd lost radio contact with his cohort. There wouldn't be any permanent nerve damage, Qui-Gon had made sure of that, but he would be sore for a few days.

He heard the door open and close behind him and knew without looking who it was.

"He told me what happened, why he left."

Qui-Gon said nothing.

"He thinks it was about him, you know. He didn't leave because he blamed you or hated you. He left because he thought you hated him for what he did."

Qui-Gon took a deep breath, held it, let it out. "Is that what he told you?"

Bail shook his head. "He didn't have to. When he first got here the guilt was killing him. I think...I think he's managed to forgive himself."

Obi-Wan jerked and made a soft sound of pain. The Jedi Master lightly stroked his face, easing the spasm and young man relaxed again into sleep. Long moments went by before Qui-Gon spoke again. "But he hasn't forgiven me."

The young man smiled at that. "No, he hasn't forgiven you," he said, "To him, you haven't done anything that needs forgiving." They sat in silence; both studying the face of the sleeping Jedi and both were struck by how young he looked, the lines of his face relaxed in slumber.

"You love him," Bail said quietly. Only the slightest tensing betrayed the Jedi Master. "Not as parent or a teacher but as a man. You do."

"And what makes you think that?" Qui-Gon finally asked. Bail laughed at that, softly so as not to wake Obi-Wan. He squeezed Qui-Gon's shoulder gently and the older man looked up, meeting Bail's eyes for the first time since he had entered the room. For the briefest of moments Bail looked far older than his years, there was maturity behind his eyes and in that moment Qui-Gon saw a great leader. And then it was gone and the only thing behind those eyes was a strange sadness.

"Qui-Gon Jinn, who wouldn't love him?" The hand on his shoulder tightened. "You both need to talk and stop taking blame for something that wasn't your fault. You should tell him how you feel, Qui-Gon. Somehow, I get the feeling that he might surprise you." As quietly as he had come, the young man left and Qui-Gon was alone again with his apprentice and his thoughts.

Obi-Wan woke slowly from a dream about floating in a vast ocean to the reality of sunlight on his face. His hand was halfway to his face, intent on rubbing his eyes when he remembered Ohog. He jerked upright, adrenaline throbbing through him, to discover he was in his room at the Organa's. And next to him, sound asleep in a cramped chair, he saw a man he never expected to see again.

He looked thinner, his cheekbones a little sharper, as if he hadn't been eating properly. A sharp edge of guilt went through Obi-Won. This was likely his fault as well, and he berated himself again. If only he had controlled himself better, if only he hadn't been so weak...and yet, if Qui-Gon did hate him for what had happened, why was he here now?

He wanted to wake the older man, to ask him. The words came to his lips and stopped there, and he realized he'd been about to call Qui-Gon 'master'. His voice failed him at that memory and instead he simple sat and waited for the other man to wake.

He didn't have to wait long. The older man stirred only a moment later, his senses warning him that Obi-Wan was awake. He opened his eyes and met Obi-Wan's stare. They sat there like that, eyes locked, until finally Obi-Won broke the silence.

"Why are you here?"

Qui-Gon exhaled loudly, Obi-Wan always did like to get straight to the point. "I came to take you home," he replied.

"No."

"Obi-Wan..."

"No!" he said forcefully. "You aren't my master anymore, I don't..." He fell silent as Qui-Gon lifted his hands to Obi- Wan's face and gently held it.

"Hush, Padawan." And he let his shields drop, opening himself to Obi-Wan for the first time since the incident on the Telkarian ship. Their link blazed open, emotions built up from their long separation engulfed them both and Obi- Wan forgot any protests and simple basked in the sweet bliss of that link. Finally, the connection died down to tolerable levels and they both pulled back slightly into their own minds.

A hundred apologies came to Obi-Wan's lips, for his actions on that horrible mission, for leaving the academy but Qui- Gon gently pressed a finger against his lips, preventing him from speaking.

"It wasn't your fault Obi-Wan. No," he said when Obi-Wan made to speak, "Listen to me. The Council was right, it was not any fault of ours." Qui-Gon pulled back and leaned back into his chair, resting his forehead on his hand. -Tell him- Bail had said. Was it really that easy? Life had taught him otherwise, that things worth receiving often had to be worked for. Then again, this wasn't exactly easy. And he still owed the young man an explanation, that much was clear.

"Obi-Wan," he began slowly, "I've been a Jedi, in one form or another for my entire life. I began my training as a young child, as you did, as all Jedi do. And in all that time, I have walked the light path and not strayed. On that ship..." his voice faltered, then strengthen, "On that ship, I lost control so completely that I...I just...I have never lost control like that, in my life. Ever," he said finally. Obi-Wan was completely focused on him, sensing that something was approaching.

Focus, he told himself and when he was calm, Qui-Gon continued. "I hurt you," he held up a hand when Obi-Wan would have protested. "No, let me speak. I hurt you and I shot that guard and I think, maybe, I would have shot the ship's captain if she hadn't cooperated. When they took that disruption device off me and I could think clearly, I was horrified by what I had done. It wasn't my fault, I can see that now, but then..." Again, calm, deep breathing, relax, he told himself, quieting his mind before speaking again.

"Obi-Wan, I released you from my apprenticeship because I thought you would be safer away from me." Qui-Gon sighed and shook his head. "I was trying to protect you but it seems I only managed to hurt you worse. I can't bear to hurt you, Obi-Wan." His eyes lifted and met Obi-Wan's, the cerulean orbs searching the young Jedi's face. "I can't bear to hurt you, Obi-Wan," he repeated quietly, "Because I love you."

Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan released a shaky breath. Those hands, callused and familiar, touched his face again. He leaned into the touch and one hand lightly stroked his cheek.

"Don't, love," he heard Qui-Gon plead, "Please, don't." And only then did Obi-Wan realize that warm tears were seeping from underneath his lowered eyelids. He opened his eyes and looked into the tear-blurred face of his master, so close to his own.

Qui-Gon wiped a tear away with his thumb, "Please..." His words were cut off by the press of Obi-Wan's lips against his own. He drew in a startled breath before he responded, hesitantly, tasting salt and wetness.

They made love there for the first time, on the soft, cool sheets in the Organa's guestroom. It was a complete bonding of mind and body as they merged together. And when Qui-Gon entered his beloved's body he knew this time there was no pain or fear, only a sense of completeness as they moved together as one, joined by themselves and by the Force which flowed between them and through them. And as they reached their peak and both were lost in the brightness of pleasure, their bodies separated but not their minds, and the rested there, each within the other and each comforted with the knowledge that they were loved.

There was more than one set of damp eyes on the transport pad the day Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were set to return to Coruscant. Dala openly cried, declaring that Obi-Wan was a son to her and welcome to return at any time. Her husband warmly agreed with the sentiment even as he was pleased that things had worked out well between the two men.

Saying goodbye to Bail was the most difficult. "I can't begin to thank you for everything you've done," Obi-Wan said, "But, thank you so much, Bail. Thank you, my friend."

Bail gave the other man a somewhat watery grin, "Hearing you call me friend is more than enough." He gave the young Jedi a hard hug before turning his attention to Qui-Gon. "You take good care of him, hear?"

Only Qui-Gon Jinn heard the underlying sadness in that voice and he nodded before saying, "I will, I promise you."

"Don't be too upset, Bail," Obi-Wan teased, "I'm sure you'll be seeing me again sometime." Qui-Gon squeezed his shoulder and they both departed then, amidst tears and called good-byes, for Coruscant and their future, wherever it would lead them.

A dark hooded figure stood, gazing out into the night at the soft glow of the city. The plan to capture a Jedi had so far been unsuccessful, but he was patient. Perhaps he needed to change his strategy. It may not be necessary to capture a prisoner if he could just get a sample of their blood. He wouldn't -need- a Jedi then, he could create his own. He nodded decisively, yes, that plan would be far easier and less costly to implement. Soon, he told himself, soon. His patience would have its reward.

-finis-

Comments and questions to: mailto:keelywolfe@gmail.com
Back