Title: Instamatics 9/26/00 1/1, #62
Guest Author: kimberlite
Archive: Please ask.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Todd Haynes, Miramax, etc.
Feedback: Please, to kimberlite@cox.net
Notes: Many thanks to Alex for all her encouragement and for letting me frolic in her playground.

I walk down the aisle to stretch my legs and use the loo. Putting all of us on the same plane has turned out to be as much of a circus as I imagined, but it's been fun. Getting to go to New York was a dream come true -- obviously not just for me.

As I head back to my seat, I look over the entourage. Freddi, Cooper and Angel are chatting gaily, drinks in hand. Jerry is puffing on a cigar while leafing through some papers. Mandy is showing Shannon some trick with make-up that involves contorting their mouths. They look like gasping fish -- I really don't want to think about it. The entire first class section is alive with activity.

I slow my steps as I approach Brian and Curt. Curt is leaning against the window, staring out, apparently fascinated by the clouds. Although he seems completely relaxed and comfortable, I wonder if this is his first plane flight. Brian is sleeping, resting against Curt's chest, cradled in Curt's arms. It amazes me that they already look like an established couple. Makes you wonder about love at first sight.

I went along for the ride, just like the rest of the band. I was willing to be made over into this glam image. It amuses me that the fans take it so seriously. Of course, I was just as excited as everybody else by our successes.

When Brian told Jerry he wanted to meet Curt Wild I wasn't sure who he was talking about. Now, of course, we've met Curt and he's coming back to London with us. When Jerry first announced this new partnership, I couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy, wondering what it meant to me personally. Was I being pushed aside? Was I going to be able to work with this guy?

I'm not naive, and I've heard the rumors about Curt. I was ready to dislike him. It was immediately clear that Brian had a more personal interest in Curt. I don't have a problem with men together, I've just never wanted to do it. But I couldn't help wonder if Curt was being included in the band simply to let Brian keep him close.

But when we started practicing, I immediately saw how much Curt loved the music. Amid all the falsity and brilliant plumage, Curt was the real deal. I'm really looking forward to playing with him. And seeing Curt now, holding Brian like he's fragile and in need of protection, I can't help but like him.

As I walk by their seats, Curt turns his head from the window and smiles at me. In his open expression I see his excitement, his interest, his good nature, and I respond, grinning back and nodding my head at him before walking by.