Title: Instamatics 6/12/00 1/1, #32
Guest Author: kimberlite
Archive: Please ask.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Todd Haynes, Miramax, etc.
Feedback: Please, to kimberlite@cox.net
Notes: Many thanks to Alex for all her encouragement and for letting me frolic in her playground.

"So, have you ever thought about it?" Curt asked, running his hands along Brian's bare shoulders and down his back, nibbling his neck.

Entirely focused on the delightful sensations caused by Curt's lips and hands, Brian tried to remember what Curt had asked. After a moment spent drifting with the tide of Curt's touch, he realized he couldn't, so he asked, "What?"

Exasperated, Curt stepped back, ending his distracting caresses. After a moment, Brian seemed more clued in, so Curt tried again. Gently reaching out to put his fingers on Brian's stomach, Curt lowered his eyes, murmuring, "Ever thought about having a kid?"

Brian's stomach muscles tightened beneath Curt's fingers and Brian gasped in surprise. "What the fuck would I do with a kid?" Brian's voice managed to express an odd combination of horror, fear, astonishment, and fascination.

Flushing at Brian's response, Curt looked up, meeting eyes alight with curiosity. "I don't know, I just thought...since you're married...you might have thought..." Curt's voice became quieter and quieter until he was whispering.

Wrapping Curt in his arms, Brian kissed his forehead. "Well, uh, no, I don't think we ever talked about it. It was just sort of a given that this wasn't the right time." Brian paused for a minute, considering Curt. "What the hell have you been smoking to bring this on?"

Agitated, Curt pulled out of Brian's embrace, pacing back and forth across the room. "Nothing. I'm not smoking anything. But it is Father's Day, and I was just thinking about my dad and all the ways he messed up with me, wondering if I'd be as fucked up..."

Seeing how serious Curt had become, Brian stepped in front of him, forcing Curt to stop pacing and met his eyes. "You would make a fantastic father, Curt. You would never hurt a child the way you were hurt. You would cherish it." Brian ran his fingers along Curt's cheek, gently stroking the smooth skin.

"You're probably the only person who would say that." Curt turned his head, kissing Brian's palm.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. I got a girl pregnant once." Curt watched Brian's eyes expand to bug-like proportions. "I was really young and really stupid. She chose to risk an abortion, rather than have my baby."

Brian cringed at Curt's flat tone. "Curt, love, I'm sure you weren't the reason she did that."

Shrugging, Curt said quietly, "Maybe not, but I still can't help wondering stupid shit like would it have been a boy or a girl, what would it have looked like, grown up to be...why she thought I was responsible enough to pay for an abortion but not to raise a kid..."

"Oh, Curt..."

"What was wrong with me, Bri?"

Brian held on to Curt's upper arms, shaking him slightly for emphasis. "There's nothing wrong with you, Curt." Meeting Curt's liquid blue-green eyes, Brian smiled shyly, saying, "I'd have your baby, Curt."

Curt's smile brightened his entire face. "Oh, Brian..."

Kissing Curt's lips, Brian smirked, "Just think how fucking talented and gorgeous our kid would be."

Laughing with delight, Curt hugged Brian close. "I can just see a slender little girl with long dark hair and pouting lips. She'd have you wrapped around her little finger."

"Or a mischievous blond boy with changeable eyes and a rock collection." Brian grinned at Curt.

Curt grinned back. "You'd do that for me? Create a piece of the future for us?"

"Definitely." Brian ran his hands through Curt's silky hair, pushing it off Curt's face.

Kissing Brian deeply, Curt nudged him back toward the bed. "Then we'd better start trying..."