Title: Danger Zone
Author: kimberlite
Pairing: Curt/Brian
Category: angst, alternate reality
Rating: R
Archive: Please ask.
Disclaimer: These beautiful boys belong to Todd Haynes, not me. "Gimme Danger" is by Iggy Pop and James Williamson.
Summary: What if Brian hadn't left the concert?
Thank you: To Samantha for the beta.
Feedback: Yes, please, to kimberlite@cox.net

Danger Zone

The Death of Glitter concert was in full swing by the time Curt arrived. As he moved through the backstage door the music blasted into him. Curt paused briefly, scanning the darkened, smoky room. He slunk along the perimeter, avoiding the milling roadies, groupies, and musicians. Projecting a bored, blank look, Curt hoped that everyone would just leave him alone. There was only one person he wanted to see, and Curt knew he wouldn't be backstage tonight.

Arthur turned his focus from the stage in time to see Curt enter. He froze in place, heart speeding up, breath catching at the sight of one of his music heroes -- Curt Wild, leopard skin-patterned shirt open, smooth chest and flat stomach exposed, silver and black collar around his neck, tight silver pants, looking sexy as hell. Arthur was too in awe of Curt to actually approach him, but knowing that he was in the same room was overwhelmingly exciting.

The Flaming Creatures finished their set and left the stage. Absently, Arthur told them how good they had sounded, but his attention was clearly focused on Curt. Curt was moving in their direction, waiting for his back-up band to plug in before making his entrance on stage.

Arthur swallowed hard and tried not to stare as Curt walked over and stood next to him. Curt was smoking a cigarette with one hand and casually stroking his chest with the other hand. From beneath his eyelashes, Arthur watched Curt's fingers as they moved inside the opening of the shirt. The black nail polish contrasted with the pale skin of Curt's chest. Arthur ached to know the touch of that hand.

Curt dropped the cigarette, grinding it into the floor with the toe of his platform boot. Arthur could feel heat radiating from Curt's body, and he breathed in deeply, catching a hint of Curt's tangy, unique scent through the smoke. Arthur wanted to ingrain every impression deeply into his mind, to hold a record of this moment so he could replay it over and over.

The band was ready, the crowd screaming for Curt. Curt shrugged out of his shirt, turned to toss it aside, and noticed the man standing quietly next to him. For a moment, Curt's eyes widened at the sight of Brian. The flash of hope was quickly extinguished as Curt realized it was just another fan dressing up as Maxwell Demon. Still, the adoration in the kid's eyes was nice. At least somebody still wanted him. Curt grinned slightly and held out his shirt, asking in a low, rough voice if the kid would hold it for him.

Arthur was afraid he would faint as Curt turned his gaze on him. In just the brief contact, Arthur saw hopeful recognition turn to defeat. The intensity of Curt's pain was palpable. Arthur responded unconsciously, looking at Curt with all the love and longing of a true fan. He saw Curt's smile and heard Curt ask him to hold the shirt. Unable to speak, Arthur simply nodded and held out his hand.

Curt placed the shirt in Arthur's hand, gently brushing Arthur's fingers with his own. He could feel Arthur tremble at the contact, and was amused that such an innocent touch could cause such a reaction. He knew that this kid would be here waiting for him, that he could fuck him if he wanted, but the only one he truly wanted was Brian.

With a final look at the kid, Curt gathered up energy and bounded on stage. The crowd went wild as he pranced around, throwing kisses and flipping them off. Yet Curt was cut off from the excitement. Even though the blinding lights made scanning the audience impossible, Curt knew without a doubt that Brian was not out there. So he went through the motions, singing several songs without feeling anything.

Curt was beginning "Gimme Danger" when a shiver coursed down his spine. Brian was there. He felt it in his bones. This was his opportunity to reach Brian, to beg for a second chance. Curt dropped to his knees, throwing all his pain and love into the song, submitting himself to Brian's will.

Gimme danger, little stranger
And I'll feel you bleed
Gimme danger, little stranger
And I'll heal your disease

Curt sang the words to Brian, hoping that Brian had been affected by their break up, that Brian knew how much pain he was in, that Brian would believe that together they could heal each other.

There's nothing in my dreams
Just some ugly memories
Kiss me like the ocean breeze

Curt wondered if Brian remembered only the crazed, dark times. Would Brian remember their days of freedom, the holiday to the coast, the time they had been closest? Curt needed Brian to remember that golden time.

Now if you will be my lover
I will shiver and sing
But if you can't be my master
I will do anything

Curt was pleading. He reached out to Brian, radiating intense sexual energy, trying to draw Brian to him. His wrists connected in front of his face as if held by leather ties, his submission to Brian implicit.

There's nothing left alive
But a pair of dark glassy eyes
Raise my fears one more time

Curt gestured to the words, trying to connect, daring Brian to see into his fears, exposing his terror of being rejected, unloved, alone.

Come on little danger, die a little stranger
Swear you're gonna feel my hands
Right on little stranger, try a little danger
Swear you're gonna feel my hands
Swear you're gonna feel my hands
Swear you're gonna feel my hands

Curt rose to his feet, moving around the stage, trailing his hand up and down his body. He jumped about, hair flying, practically spitting out the lyrics. Finally, Curt collapsed to the ground, writhing on his back, hair spread around his head, lips caressing the mike, hands roaming from the collar at his neck to scratch down over his chest, hips thrusting into the air.

Can you feel it
Can you feel it
Can you feel it

Curt rolled onto his knees and forearms, pushing himself upright, bent legs spread wide. Brian had to feel it -- the pain, the need, the love. Still kneeling, Curt began shaking and thrashing, pleading with Brian. He had to respond.

I want to fucking feel it

Curt fell forward, burying his face in his arms, shoulders heaving, mike lying on stage in front of him, forgotten. It was over.

*****

As the song began, Brian leaned against the doorway, hidden within a heavy coat and large hat. He had made a horrible mistake. Choosing his career over Curt had seemed like the only choice at the time. However, it had quickly become obvious that it was the wrong decision. Brian had sunk into a depression, unable to care about the tour as the knowledge of his own betrayal pulled him down into an abyss of pain and anguish and desperation. That despair had led to the shooting stunt that had killed Maxwell Demon, and effectively
ended his career. It was ironic how quickly his entourage, his fans, his wife had abandoned him. He was alone. Even the cocaine had not been enough to overcome his devastation. Now, having hit rock bottom, Brian gazed at his former lover. This man was the love of his life, the love he had coldly, cruelly abandoned. How could Curt possibly forgive him?

Greedily, Brian ran his eyes over Curt, on his knees, blond hair obscuring his face, collared, chest bare, silver pants hugging his thighs and ass. Predictably, Brian felt his body react to Curt's raw energy, heart beating more rapidly, blood rushing to his cock, breath coming in shallow pants. Curt made him feel so alive.

As Brian watched Curt perform, he felt a solid connection between the two of them. Brian felt the pain Curt was projecting. It rolled off of him in waves, crashing over Brian. They were both hurting. After the way he had treated Curt, Brian had convinced himself that trying to talk to Curt could only lead to grief. After the break up, Curt had gone to Germany and cut a record with Jack Fairy. With Brian's all-important career down the gutter, Curt would have every right to laugh in his face. But what if Curt still wanted him?

With each verse of the song, each move Curt made, Brian felt hope expanding in his heart. He couldn't let fear keep him from asking for what he wanted, what he hoped they both wanted. Curt was reaching out to him; he had to meet Curt halfway. Determined, Brian quickly ran around to the backstage entrance, dropping the hat and coat on the sidewalk as he went. He had to get to Curt. He was prepared to push through the backstage crowd, but when they saw him, everyone stepped aside, clearing a path to the stage.

Curt had just finished the song. Panting slightly, Brian moved toward Curt, gut clenching with the recognition of how much this meant to him. He blocked out the lights and the cheering audience as he advanced on Curt's prone body. As the crowd recognized him, they became eerily quiet. Curt looked up at the unexpected silence to find Brian coming to his knees beside him.

They didn't need to say a word. When their gazes connected, they knew they were on the same wavelength. They had felt the same pain during their separation, and they wanted the pain to end. They flowed together, wrapping their arms around one another, trying to get as close together as possible. After a moment to ground themselves in each other's strength, they allowed their lips to meet in a gentle whisper of a kiss. It couldn't stay gentle for long. Brian's hands pushed Curt's hair out of the way as he rained kisses over Curt's face, tasting the salty sweat. Curt ran his hands over Brian, reacquainting himself with the slim solidity of his lover.

Finally they pulled back to face each other, looking directly into each other's beautifully expressive eyes, love shining between them. Slowly they moved together, lips meeting in a deep, open-mouth kiss. Realizing what they were seeing, the crowd began to cheer, jolting Curt and Brian from their reunion and back to reality. Slowly ending the kiss, Curt and Brian grinned at each other before standing up and leaving the stage arm in arm.

Arthur stood completely still, stunned by the emotion clearly passing between the two men on stage. He had followed their careers, looked up to them for being so unconsciously open about their relationship, been hurt when things had fallen apart. Now, seeing them together again, Arthur smiled, feeling a sense of rightness. He held out Curt's shirt as Curt and Brian walked past him, heading straight for the door. However, Curt and Brian had eyes only for each other. Arthur held the shirt to his face, feeling its texture and smelling Curt's intoxicating scent. Arthur's smile widened, glad Curt and Brian had found their way back together.