May the Force be with you - ALWAYS!

by Master Yo-Gurt

Archive: Yes, Master & Apprentice, Fanfiction.net, all others please ask!

Category: Humor/Parody

Rating: PG

Warnings: do you really want to be warned? Actually none that I can think of!

Spoilers: What's that?

Summary: A Jedi lets the Force guide his every action - even when it comes to #1!

Feedback: YES! PLEASE! To bogart_and_lily@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: "Alex, I'll take Mega Movie Moguls for 200, please!" "What is the name of the man who created Star Wars and all it's characters?" "Uh, George Lucas?" "I'm sorry, but you have to give the response in the form of a question! Minus 200 for YOU!"

Notes: I never thought the plot bunny would bite in the middle of taking a leak! LOL!



"Can you use the Force to help you? Pee, I mean!", Obi-Wan inquired squatting down into the snow as he urgently needed to go.

It was very early in the morning, and Master Jinn and his apprentice had been strolling through the extensive main gardens of the Temple compound. The pair was wandering through the few inches of freshly fallen snow that had accumulated over night, covering everything with a white, smooth cover. It did snow on Coruscant from time to time, but it still remained a relatively rare enough occasion for Qui-Gon to take his Padawan for a stroll, to acquaint the young man with the beauty and stillness that came from the blanket of tiny ice crystals muffling all sounds. As they proceeded to walk through one of their most favorite sections of this pearl of the Temple, Obi-Wan became antsy. He started to slightly hop from one foot to the other, hardly failing to catch his Master's eyes.

"You didn't go before we left our quarters?", Qui-Gon asked in a very amused and almost teasing manner.

"No, Master, I didn't. May I ...?", and his hopping increased pending his Master's response. "Yes, Obi-Wan, go, I won't look", and he scurried away to some nearby bushes.

Despite himself the Master did glance over to his apprentice once, seeing him sitting there like a little boy, his robe draped all around him.

"Shall I demonstrate how a true Master does it, Obi-Wan?, Qui-Gon asked and with a quick motion of his hand he whipped out his member. "Man, what a dick!", Obi-Wan thought as he watched Qui-Gon in admiration. Oh, to call that precious piece of his Master his own!

"Watch and learn, Padawan!", and, being one with the very living Force and all, he started to squirt a very generous amount of nitrogen waste onto the freshly fallen snow. In the end Obi-Wan was surprised to see what his Master had so artfully, and quite unconventionally, written on the ground.

"Screw the Council, screw the Code!"

Obi-Wan burst into uncontrollable laughter, joined almost immediately by Qui-Gon. "Well, Padawan, it often will be necessary for you to follow your own instincts, no matter what!" Wiping away a tear from his eyes, Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon and could hardly stifle another giggle. "Just don't let anyone on the Council ...".

He didn't finished what he was about to say, as they both felt the presence of a very powerful Jedi Master standing right next to them. With a quizzical look Master Yoda was scrutinizing the 'artwork' in front of him his former charge had produced, and both Master Jinn and his Padawan instantly began to blush.

"Hmm", Yoda murmured, and without another word he opened his robe and fished for his own "squirt gun". "Observe! Size matters not!", and he proceeded to sprinkle the snow with his urine, guiding it with the Force into settling down into a beautiful flower pattern.

"So there!", Master Yoda said triumphantly, tucking his little dick safely away again into his robe. "When 900 years old you are, very inventive you will have become when relieving yourself!". And he waddled away out of Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's sight.

"I never suspected ...", Qui-Gon mused, wondering about all the other sides of his old Master that he and others never really got to see and appreciate.

"It sure is beautiful, Master! Can you show me to use the Force to do something like this?". Obi-Wan looked expectantly at his mentor and Qui-Gon began to smile one of those all-knowing, teasing smiles his Padawan had become so familiar with.

"in time, my young Padawan, in time", and the two of them slowly walked back to their quarters, leaving this unique piece of art to the scrutiny of the Gods.