"There is No Passion"
Rating: R
Obi-Wan turned his head and looked across the fine silk covered pillows at the dark skinned man who lay next to him. Bail lay on his side, head propped up on his hand. Brown eyes that could be warm like a summer day stared accusingly at him.
"Have I done something wrong?" Obi-Wan asked mildly.
The brown eyes grew hard, like polished stones. "You haven't done anything at all."
"You came three times. Not that I'm keeping track, but I believed you were enjoying yourself."
"And you came once, when it was over, your hand on your own cock to make yourself come."
Bail stood and stalked to the other side of the room, pulling a white robe from the back of a chair and sliding it over his head, covering long, cinnamon shaded limbs. He moved back to stand at the bottom of the bed, arms folded across his chest. "Your hand on your own cock to make yourself come -who was in your mind, Obi-Wan? Who did you think of as you pulled your flesh, coaxing your reluctant climax from your body?"
Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't-"
"Was it Qui-Gon?" The question was sharp, almost angry.
Obi-Wan just shook his head again.
"You two were legendary -I know how he died, how they found you cradling his body."
"He was my master." Said as if it explained everything. To Obi-Wan it did.
"Your lover." Said with some heat, the brown eyes flashing with fire.
Obi-Wan's brows drew together and he pushed himself up, unconcerned as the sheet fell from his body. "The Jedi don't... do that."
Bail just looked at him, disbelief clear, easy to read.
"There is no passion, there is the Force." Obi-Wan spoke the words softly, almost reverently. It had been a long time since he'd heard them spoken out loud.
"So you two never..."
Obi-Wan shook his head.
"But you wanted to." It was an accusation.
Obi-Wan considered a moment before shaking his head again.
"Did you love him?"
That one was easy. "Yes."
"Was it him?"
Obi-Wan's brows came together again.
"That you were thinking of, while jerking off."
"I was concentrating on the feelings themselves."
"And while you were making me come?"
"I was concentrating on your pleasure. If I've done something to offend you, I apologize. And if you tell me what it was I will correct it if it is in my power to do so."
Bail sat, the bed dipping beneath his weight. "I'm your first lover."
It wasn't a question, but Obi-Wan answered nonetheless. "Yes."
"Why? I mean you said the Jedi don't take lovers, so why are you with me?"
"The Jedi are no longer." That didn't hurt to say as much as he thought it might. He didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, or if it just was.
"But why me? To make sure I co-operate? That help you and the children out?"
"Why you? Because there is a connection between us, we match within the Force. It feels good to be with you -I wanted you to feel that too..."
"And it's that simple to you." Bail shook his head.
"Does it need to be complicated?"
Bail's lips pursed. "I guess it doesn't." He reached out, fingernails scrapping through Obi-Wan's beard. "It just seems like all your emotions are locked away behind this mask of yours, I thought sex would make a difference."
"They are not locked away." Obi-Wan's protest was calm. "They are given away to the Force."
Bail's hand dropped away. "I couldn't live like that."
"And I couldn't live without it," replied Obi-Wan. "I have felt the loss of a million million souls. Some of whom were the suns around which my life orbited. I could not have borne it and I did not have to, the Force bore it for me."
"How can you live without passion?" Bail's question was punctuated by his hands, the long fingers eloquent.
"I have passion...quiet moments of joy."
"But you give them away to your Force."
"It's not my Force, it is yours as well."
Bail shook his head, his expression sad. "Are you going to hide away until you are old and dying, dead?"
Obi-Wan turned his head and looked across the cold porcelain of the sink. Sea-green eyes that could be as calm as the ocean stared back at him.
~ fin ~