"Going Rogue"
Rating: PG
Bail convinces a grumpy Obi-Wan to watch Rogue Jedi vids with him.
Obi-Wan tried to suppress a long-suffering sigh. Really, he did. But when Bail had suggested that they perhaps watch a vid or two while they "caught their breath for round two" (round one having left them in a panting, sweaty heap in the bedroom, which was where this conversation had taken place), he had not been imagining this. He had been imagining...well, not this.
"You don't seriously expect me to watch these, do you?" he asked sceptically, eyeing the pile of Rogue Jedi holovids with distaste.
"You did once say that you enjoyed watching them," Bail said, a faint hint of apology in his tone.
"When I was fourteen, yes," Obi-Wan replied acidly. "I am no longer fourteen."
"I'm well aware of that, dear Bendu," Bail said with a leer. "But you never know, they might get us in the mood."
Obi-Wan levelled a helpless glare at the prince. Get him in the mood? Rogue Jedi?! Ugh. That was just wrong.
Bail merely shrugged, looking unrepentant. "Well, I thought it would get me in the mood," he said mildly.
"A loaf of bread would get you in the mood," Obi-Wan retorted, unimpressed.
"Oh, come now," Bail wheedled. "It's always good to relive the simple pleasures of one's youth. Besides, you enjoyed watching them once and...well..." He paused, and looked faintly embarrassed for a moment. "I was rather hoping you might enjoy watching them even more with me."
Obi-Wan suppressed another sigh. He didn't want to watch Rogue Jedi holos. If he was honest, he didn't want to watch holos at all. He had come over to Bail's wanting sex; hard, fast, forget-your-troubles sex. It had been a very long day and he was tired, and to top it off, Qui-Gon had scolded him earlier today for being inattentive, which had just made his low mood even worse. He had come to Bail seeking comfort - and as far as he was concerned, tonight that ought to involve great sex, and then going to sleep. Seeing as they had already had great sex, the sleep part of the equation was now demanding his attention.
But Bail was giving him that look. That hopeful look, that you-know-you'll-do-anything-I-ask look. And much to his dismay, he really did have a lot of trouble resisting that look.
"Oh, all right," he sighed. "We can watch them. But you have to remember that they're nonsense. Jedi can't do half of what they portray."
"I solemnly swear that I shall take each and every event with a grain of salt," Bail said, smiling once more as he settled himself on the couch, patting the cushion beside him and giving Obi-Wan a come-hither look. Obi-Wan obliged, and soon they were cuddled comfortably on the couch, watching the daring adventures of the Rogue Jedi. Much to his surprise, Obi-Wan found himself rather enjoying it despite his fatigue, although he had forgotten just how patently ridiculous these holos were. Honestly, what kind of idiot would actually believe that a Jedi could do that?
"Jedi can't really do that, can they?" Bail asked from beside him.
Obi-Wan struggled not to roll his eyes. "No," he said evenly. "Jedi cannot cause the weather to change merely by waving a hand at the sky."
"Oh. Well, I didn't think so," Bail replied, as if he had known it all along. "Still," he continued a moment later, "it would be awfully useful if you could. I'd never have to worry about rain on our picnics again."
"We don't have picnics."
"We might, though."
Obi-Wan gave Bail a look, and the prince subsided. They watched in silence for a time, but before too long another daring feat caught Bail's attention. "What about that?" he asked, gesturing at the screen. "Can you do that?"
"No," Obi-Wan said, keeping his tone carefully level. "Jedi cannot see through walls."
"But I thought you could sense what was going on around you."
"Sense it, yes. See through walls, complete with heat signatures and x-ray vision, no."
"Oh." Bail appeared to accept that, but a moment later he gave Obi-Wan a naughty grin. "It's too bad about the x-ray vision though. Then I'd really know that you were undressing me with your eyes."
There was a pause.
"Bail," Obi-Wan said, pleadingly. "Just watch the holo."
This time the silence lasted longer, but when Master Jara used the Force to leap off the top of a Coruscant skyscraper, landing neatly on his feet on a convenient platform at least a hundred stories down, Bail couldn't help himself.
"What about that?" he asked. "Can you do that?"
"No," Obi-Wan said briefly, fighting the urge to grit his teeth.
"But you can use the Force to help you jump, yes?"
"Yes, but not that far."
"How far?"
"Not that far."
"Well, how do you know?" Bail asked. "Have you tried?"
"Have I tried jumping off a skyscraper? No, I don't believe I have," Obi-Wan said irritably.
"Then how do you know?"
Obi-Wan turned an irritated glare on Bail, and the prince gazed back at him innocently.
Too innocently. Bail never looked that innocent.
"You're deliberately trying to provoke me, aren't you?" Obi-Wan asked suspiciously.
"No!" Bail looked wounded. "Of course not! I would never..."
Obi-Wan looked at him.
"Well, perhaps a little," Bail finished sheepishly. "But really, how do you know that you can't do that? Is there a rule book for the Force that says you can't use it to jump off skyscrapers?"
"Of course there isn't a rule book. You just can't do it."
"But how do you know?" Bail persisted.
"For pity's sake, Bail!" Obi-Wan burst out. "I just know! I cannot jump from skyscrapers and land on my feet! I cannot see through walls, and I cannot shoot lightning bolts from my fingertips! I cannot fly, I cannot shoot laser beams from my eyes, and I definitely cannot change the frazzing weather by wiggling a hand at the sky! It just doesn't work like that!"
"All right, all right," Bail said with infuriating mildness, raising his hands in submission. "I was only asking."
Obi-Wan subsided, flopping back onto the couch, suddenly hating the Rogue Jedi with a vengeance. Master Jara chose that moment to turn and look at the screen, his cloak blowing dramatically in the wind, and Obi-Wan made a sour face at him.
Bail settled back down into the cushions beside him, first resting his head on Obi-Wan's shoulder, then starting to gently nuzzle his neck. Minutes went by, and the prince did not speak again. Slowly, Obi-Wan began to relax under Bail's ministrations, just a little.
Bail tilted his head, looking up at Obi-Wan with an expression of pure mischief. "So, what can you do?" he asked mildly.
Obi-Wan turned his head to look at Bail, his eyes flashing. "Do you want to know what I can do?" he asked softly, and Bail half sat up, grinning.
"You know I always want to see your prowess, Ben," he drawled, eyeing Obi-Wan with an exaggerated leer.
Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed, his jaw twitching as he glared at Bail. That scowl was so menacing that Bail began to wonder if perhaps he had gone too far. He gave Obi-Wan a calculatedly appealing look, hoping to placate his irritated lover. "Now really, Ben, there's no need to get upset," he said. "I was only teasing..."
"You want to see what I can do," Obi-Wan repeated, his voice still dangerously soft. He reached for Bail, but the prince hurriedly slipped backwards off the couch, out of Obi-Wan's reach, and backed away across the room. He wasn't sure if he had actually pissed Obi-Wan off or if the Jedi was just teasing him in return, but either way, a little game of chasey might be good foreplay. And if he really had pissed Obi-Wan off, staying out of reach kept his ass covered.
Obi-Wan had unfolded himself from the couch and was stalking him across the room, his expression grim. "Come here, Bail," he said. "I'll show you what I can do."
Coming from Obi-Wan, that actually sounded rather appealing, but with the way he'd been needling the Jedi this evening, Bail didn't want to take any chances. Besides, the game had hardly started yet. He continued to backpedal, glancing behind him to make sure he didn't trip over anything. "I'm sure you can do lots of things," he drawled, watching Obi-Wan carefully in case the Jedi decided to lunge at him. "I don't really need a demonstration."
"Oh, I think you do. I think you need a very thorough demonstration of just what I can do," Obi-Wan said menacingly, although the grim look had now given way to a strange and rather alarming little smile.
Bail was smiling too, although he kept retreating, just in case. Still, he was finding Obi-Wan's menacing act to be pretty damn sexy. "I was only teasing," he said again, keeping the game going. "A mere jest, dear Bendu..."
"Then perhaps I ought to tease you in turn."
Obi-Wan's little smile had grown positively wicked, and Bail wasn't sure whether he ought to be aroused or terrified. He had backed up far enough to hit the wall now, and Obi-Wan was on him like a shot, putting both hands on the wall on either side of Bail and pinning the prince in the circle of his arms. Trapped, Bail changed tack and turned a coy gaze on him, widening his eyes and fluttering his lashes. "Come now, my dear Bendu," he said with a tiny smirk. "You're a Jedi. You know...there is no passion, there is serenity, and all that?"
Incredibly, Obi-Wan's smile grew even wickeder...and just a touch lascivious. "Your Highness," he said slowly, giving Bail a smouldering look that made the prince's knees go suddenly weak. "As far as you are concerned...this Jedi has just gone rogue."
Bail could only grin in response. He had the feeling it was going to be a long, long night.
~ fin ~