"Cold Acts"
Rating: I wonder...
Bail Organa ponders even as he surrenders.
Where had all my fond dreams gone - my naive imaginings of bed and Ben? They are the ghosts of dreams now. He makes me do things. Painful acts. Humiliating surrenders.
"Ben. I love you. Please don't ask for this." I pleaded.
"Be quiet. Just do as you're told." Ben's face was hard. His eyes weren't even seeing me, seeing Bail Organa. Those grey orbs acknowledged only the dumb flesh of me - the meaner parts of me that would warm and satisfy his crude matter.
If I had resisted him that first time? If I had said the word 'no'? Would all of this be different now? Would he spare me this agony? Would he see me as whole in his bed?
Ben seized my shoulders, not even a kiss before he muscled me over onto my side.
He was behind me then. Hands grasping and impatient. He hauled the blanket up over our bodies. Hollowing out a cocoon with his legs, grunting all the while. Ben moved over me until he had me bound in pale limbs. Until I was satisfactorily arranged.
He stilled his thrashings about. There would be a pause now. A brief span of breaths while he let his anticipation build.
'Goodbye my Ben. I will leave you now.' I spoke silently. 'I will fly to my sun-filled garden where I will conjure each scent, each sweet breeze and thereby find some comfort.'
He thrust between my legs. O, an icy shard pierced through me! A thin note whined from my lips.
"You, Bail. You're the only one." He said gruffly into my hair.
I clutched his arms where they were banded around me. I seized that ropy flesh as a man being throttled will grasp the fingers of his attacker. In his vulgar desire he mistook my instinctive holding as encouragement and burrowed all the deeper.
"You are the only one who has ever been able to warm these damned bony feet of mine. Oh...Bail. Love you. Love you!"
I only heard his next words vaguely as I left the meat of me behind for him to use. I could see it now, my secret solace...warm...light filled...
"Aaaahhhh! Good. So good." Ben was chanting as he wriggled and groaned, rubbing his frozen feet between my calves. His words became the songs of birds in the sun-blessed trees above my head.
~ fin ~