This Body Electric

by Keelywolfe

He hadn't expected this.

Oh, Sideswipe had known he would feel something. Bumblebee's problem was rare but not completely unheard of and while Sideswipe was far from the most experienced in the sexual rituals of organics, he did know which parts generally went where and why they did it. Bumblebee, he had been expecting. Some tiny, secret part of him had even been agreeable; old friends make decent lovers, even when it is only for a temporary convenience.

He hadn't expected Bumblebee's receptors to feel like liquid flame flowing over his own, the link between them throbbing with sensations that Sideswipe had been helpless against until he'd torn himself away physically, the jagged edge of their connection hanging between them until they'd managed to close it down.

He certainly hadn't expected the little human to be so utterly delightful, the unfamiliar taste of a human mouth bringing back memories that he had closed off a long, long time ago. Memories that he had set aside but could never purge, not without losing large pieces of himself in the process. That was the price an Autobot paid for their sentience. Sideswipe had some vague memory of Before, when his spark had yet to warm his chest cavity and it made him shudder with coldness. Better to be dead like Jazz than to return to that state of unbeing.

So in a fit of panic at this unexpected development, Sideswipe had simply fled, sensors still churning, and he walked quickly through the compound, almost jogging, trying to get to the building that housed his robotic form as quickly as he could.

He could have dissolved the holographic sensor array there and perhaps it would have been better if he had. Better to let these receptors die away and return his focus back into his mainframe. His reluctance to let the sensations go was unwise but it had been so, so long and he...

No.

With great care, he shifted those memories back again, keeping them from surfacing. Now was not the time to integrate them back into his main system files. Not yet.

A faint trickle of rain began to fall and had he been in a more philosophical mood he might have thought the sky was weeping tears for him in the human fashion, leaking precious water and washing away the dust from metal bodies. He let himself absorb some of the water into his hair and clothing, felt the trickling dampness against receptors that were still razor-sensitive.

It was fascinating, really, that Bumblebee would be so responsive but it did make its own sort of sense. He would need to be for his duties. Sensitive to every aspect of what he was trying to discover. That it was useful for mating purposes was really only an additional benefit.

The door to his personal quarters creaked slight as he pushed it open, peering through the darkened room at his car form. It shone mellowly in the dim light, the red a perfect match to his simulated hair. He'd rinsed off the dust from his earlier patrol before he'd gone to see Sam and Bee, and now he touched the hood with his hands, shivering a little at the doubled sensation. The sensors of his human form were more sensitive yet and he focused on them, dimming back his main form until he only felt the metal beneath his hands. It was easy to lie down on the hood, crawling up the slickness and sprawling out on himself, cool metal that warmed beneath his cheek.

He might have stayed there all night, drifting through a peaceful cycle of feeling, but a voice behind him startled him, nearly sending him to the ground in his haste to sit up.

"Well, your little training session seems to have done you some good, eh, brother?" Sunstreaker's holo was leaning against the door, an unconscious mockery of how Sideswipe had stood at Sam's door.

"Don't," his voice sounded weak and Sideswipe shored it up, making it stronger. "Don't do that."

"Why not? If you choose to use vulgar human terminology to express what we are, why shouldn't I?"

"It's the closest term I could come up with. Ratchet agreed that it is appropriate."

"Appropriate?" Sunstreaker seemed to taste the word, drawing it out over the mimic of his human vocal cords. "I'm sure you want the word brother to be most appropriate, don't you."

Sideswipe watched him step closer, warily. He should dissolve the hologram, let the receptors die and go back into his robot form. It was safer that way, and he could already hear a semblance of Sunstreaker's angry shrieks in an old voice file.

But he stayed, out of stubbornness or stupidity, who was to say? The allspark had given them free will, have given them choice, but no one said those choices had to be good. Sideswipe had been drawn to him, again, ever since they came here. Dropping out of the clean coldness of space and back into the blood-heat of anthropomorphisms.

Sunstreaker had gone through a great deal of effort to perfect his humanoid form already. Long, dark hair, dark eyes, the angular lines of the very structure he had formed spoke of human beauty and Sideswipe had accepted it reluctantly, their shared spark forcing him to take the form that Sunstreaker had created before him. As he walked closer, Sideswipe could see the litheness in Sunstreaker's step, another testament to his creativity in making holos. Bumblebee had refused to teach Sunstreaker anything but he'd taught Sideswipe plenty and he'd been helpless against sharing what he'd learned. Bee never spoke of it; Sideswipe didn't know if he understood or if he had just forgiven him. Sideswipe was afraid to ask.

He flinched as his brother (not brother) rested his hands on either side on him, fingertips lightly caressing his hood and Sideswipe was dimly relieved that he couldn't feel it, even as the softness of imitation breath dusted over his face.

"Don't think I didn't notice how eager you were to help them," Softly, almost into his ear as Sunstreaker leaned in.

"Ratchet came to me."

"I know. He considered me as well. That would have been amusing, don't you think?"

Sideswipe closed his eyes and willed himself to have the strength to put a stop to this before it began. "I think that I would have been picking up body parts."

"I could tear that pathetic excuse for a 'bot apart with my bare hands."

That, he doubted, but Sideswipe knew better than to argue the point. Disagreement in words often led to his brother trying to prove himself with hands and guns. "I doubt Prime would approve. They let you stay because of me as it is."

Sunstreaker made a noise of disdain, reeling back to glare at him. "They let me stay because I'm the best shooter they have and I can take on any piece of Decepticon trash that comes my way."

It was easier to think with Sunstreaker further away. "Honestly, I always thought that you'd have made a brilliant Decepticon."

That made him laugh, bitter humor in his eyes. Expressive eyes, almost as good as Bumblebee's. "Perhaps. But instead I'm here, for you."

"Not for me."

His expression hardened and he caught Sideswipe's chin in one hand, tipped it up painfully. "Isn't it always for you?"

There was no answer to that, not one that wouldn't have been a lie and Sunstreaker was one that he could never lie to. No matter how much he wished he could.

He flinched when Sunstreaker leaned in again, but he stopped inches from Sideswipe's face, his false breath damp and warm. "What did you let them do to you?" Sunstreaker whispered, his eyes searching Sideswipe's.

"You think I'd kiss and tell." The hand on his chin tightened painfully.

"Yes. I do."

"Nothing happened," Sideswipe said reluctantly. "I linked with Bumblebee, that's about it."

"Liar. I can smell him on you."

Sideswipe jerked away, crawling backwards on his own hood until he was nearly on the windshield. "You could have done with about a hundred more years of space travel."

"And you shut me out of your processors the entire time. Didn't miss me, did you, brother?"

"No." A lie, an obvious lie.

"But that's all right." Sunstreaker stepped away, tossing his long hair over his shoulder in a neatly practiced move and Sideswipe had to resist the urge to reach out to him. "If you don't want to play, perhaps I'll play with something a little better." His holo morphed, shaping itself into an admittedly brilliant reconstruction of Bumblebee's current one before fading back.

Sideswipe was off the hood before he'd considered what he was doing, grabbing Sunstreaker by the front of his shirt and jerking that grinning face up to his own. "You leave them alone!"

"Well, I need someone to play with."

Redness was throbbing in his sensor vision, barely contained anger. "You wouldn't dare."

"Now we're going to debate what I would or wouldn't do?" Sunstreaker tilted his head, letting the silken spill of his hair fall over Sideswipe's hands. "You tell me, brother, what wouldn't I do?"

"Bumblebee would kill you. Optimus would kill you."

"You wouldn't." He tipped his head up and licked Sideswipe's mouth, wet against his lips and he flinched back, refusing to let them part. "You couldn't. I'd do it," Coldness slipped into his voice mod, warningly. "You know I would."

He would. "Please, don't do this." Even as part of him rejoiced. Yes, make me do this, yes, please give me an excuse...

"Then give me something!" Sunstreaker hissed.

It was too easy to kiss him, the memory of Sam still fresh in his mind and his brother tasted nothing like a human, nothing but the electric sweetness sparking between them and he walked forward, pushing Sunstreaker in front of him until they found his hood, sprawling down on it as he licked and bit Sunstreaker's mouth, wishing he could draw blood.

It would be so much easier if he could just distance himself from this, if one step into willingness didn't throw him bodily into it, his spark craning towards its opposite, like magnets drawn helpless towards each other.

He wondered if this was what Optimus had felt near Megatron.

Words were lost between them now and that suited Sideswipe just fine. Easier to jerk his brother up and flip him over, easier to sweep his hands over suddenly bare skin, perfectly pale skin and he could move Sunstreaker into any position that he liked, force flexibility that a true organic could never have.

He slipped a hand beneath one of Sunstreaker's knees, forcing it up onto his hood and his brother obeyed willingly, letting him do as he liked. It was always easy to get compliance from Sunstreaker, false acquiescence because Sideswipe knew this was just what he'd wanted all along. Lining up his cock and pushing inside, too hard, his over-sensitized receptors howling with sensations that made warning lights flicker in his vision and in his true form, his spark was throbbing, mimicking a human heartbeat, straining for a connection that couldn't be made in this form.

"I hate you," Sideswipe mouthed against the bare shoulder beneath him, thrusting up into tight heat and listening to the hissed profanities of the being beneath him.

"Not nearly as much as you hate yourself. " Gaspy laughter beneath him, Sunstreaker arching his hips into each too-hard, too-brutal thrust and had he been human, Sideswipe would have truly been hurting him. He wound an arm beneath Sunstreaker's head and pulled it back, roughly mouthing his ear and he could feel sparks building between them, an approaching connection, the only one that Sunstreaker would allow and he bit his lip when it came, stifling the shriek that would have echoed through the room. Sunstreaker didn't bother and Sideswipe muffled it instead with his own hand and for one pure moment their connection was in perfect synchronicity.

It was after, when they were sprawled damply on his hood together, Sunstreaker absently rubbing one bare foot against the warmed metal, that tenderness came. Gentle touches on skin that felt bruised, regardless of visual appearance. It seemed like hours before Sunstreaker broke the silence, as he always did.

"So how were they? Soft? Pretty?" Dark eyes weighed him sardonically. "They didn't seem to satisfy you very much."

"I told you, nothing happened. He didn't so much as take off his shoes."

"But he will." Bitter certainty.

"Please, don't even try to play the jealousy card with me. You whore yourself out to any organic you bump into."

Soft laughter, "But they are never quite enough are they, brother?" Sideswipe had no answer to that and he watched as Sunstreaker stretched and yawned, hopping up as his clothes reappeared.

"You'll leave them alone." He didn't allow it to be a question.

"Of course, when have I ever lied to you?" Sunstreaker's smile was less than encouraging and he paused at the door long enough to call over his shoulder. "See you tomorrow."

Sideswipe stayed where he was a little longer, listening to the renewed throb of rain against the roof. And then he let his holo fade away, dissolving the receptors that had touched three different beings in so short a time and returning his focus to his main processors where he could bury this memory away, hiding it from himself with all the others.


-finis-


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