Knocking.
Door opening.
Pause. "Oh, it's you." A sigh. "Well, you
might as well come in. I was just about to make dinner."
"You're cooking?"
"Nope. Unlike some people, I don't have a
death wish. See this? In the beginning, Alexander Graham Bell
created the telephone. And he looked at it and saw that it was good.
Years later, Duo Maxwell added Big Al's Chow Mein Hut to the speed
dial, and this is how he eats."
"You've been eating chow mein for two weeks?"
"No, sometimes I intersperse it with McD's and
Dominoes Pizza."
"I see."
Silence.
"Duo, what are you doing here?"
Innocently. "What do you think I'm doing? I'm
living here."
"And why did you come back to this ratty
little apartment?"
"You told me to leave, so I left. You know
that I am ever obedient to your little whims."
"Duo, I meant for you to leave the room, not
the planet."
"Then next time you should be more specific."
Silence.
"I am not going to keep chasing you around the
solar system."
"No one asked you to." Coolly.
Grinding teeth. "You are the most aggravating
person I have ever met!"
"You're probably right." Agreeably. "Anyway,
in case you hadn't noticed, it's late here and since I seem to have
lost my appetite, I'm hitting the sack. You can just go do whatever
you want."
"I can do whatever I want?"
A startled yelp, scuffling.
Struggling. "Let me up, you asshole!"
"You told me I could do whatever I wanted."
"I didn't mean it like that!"
"Well, I didn't mean for you to leave Earth
when I told you to leave me alone. You weren't even supposed to
leave the house. Do you have any idea how worried I was when I
realized you were gone?"
"Yeah, three days later you looked up and
noticed I wasn't there. I bet you were real worried, Heero. "
Silence.
"Duo, come home."
Sullen silence.
A hesitation, then softly, "Please?"
"If I do will you stop being such a jackass?"
"If by jackass you mean spending so much time
on the computer, then yes."
Considering. "Well...I guess so."
Soft, kissing sounds. A moan, clothes
rustling. Startled gasp.
"Oh...oh...oh, oh, God, oh, Jesus...oh, yeah!
Oh...mmph!"
Muffled cries. Panting.
Silence.
"Come on, I'll help you get your things."
Stretching. "In a rush, are we? Eh, that's OK.
I was getting kinda tired of chow mein anyway."
-finis
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