Abridged

by Keelywolfe

 



 

It didn't seem fair that being dead, or undead, or whatever the hell word Webster would prescribe for this situation, didn't mean that you could end the day without gritty-eyed exhaustion. Worse, sleep wasn't exactly the eight hours of blissful recuperation it had been when Ezekiel was alive, and more often than not he'd wake up in the middle of the night, still bone-weary and remembering the stink of sulfur from his dreams.

All in all, it was better than nothing, though, and Zeke was thinking longing thoughts about the lumpy mattress in his room as he unlocked his door. Rarely had this musty old place looked so beautiful to his tired eyes.

Lacking the strength to even kick the door shut, Ezekiel settled for leaning against it and trusting gravity to help him close it. Fumbling for the lock, he gave it a satisfying twist before lurching towards the bed, happy for once to put all thoughts of demons out of his mind as he slumped onto it without even toeing off his shoes, eyes drifting closed...

Only to have a gratingly familiar voice ask, cheerfully, "Lying down on the job, are we, Mr. Stone?"

"I already did my job today," Zeke sighed, summoning enough strength to pry his eyes back open so he could glare at the unexpected and very unwelcome guest sitting primly on the foot of his bed. "And I got as close to dead as an already dead guy could get in the process. A little recoup time will help me keep doing my job."

The devil flapped an impatient hand at him, "Yes, yes. I'm well aware of your antics of the day. Not that any of it really matters anymore, since I've already kicked all of them out again."

Of all the things Zeke had been expecting to hear, more bluster on how he didn't need time off, maybe an obscure fact or two about the next demon, this wasn't anywhere on his list. Not even on the reserve list. "All of...all of who?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I seem to be telling the story a little backwards here." Lucifer stood up, brushing at imaginary wrinkles in his pants before clasping his hands behind him. "I came here to tell you that I quit, so I'm afraid our little deal is off."

"Quit," Ezekiel repeated stupidly, and it had to be the exhaustion, had to be. Some kind of surreal dream brought on by the eternal weirdness that was his unlife, because he could have sworn he heard the devil say that he...

"Quit!" Lucifer repeated brightly. "Resigned, renounced, suspended activities of, surrendered, all that and more."

Zeke winced, rubbing his temples with one hand and holding up the other to stop the thesaurus pouring out of the devil. "Yeah, I know what quit means. I just...how can you...?"

Something flitted across Lucifer's smiling face, an emotion that Ezekiel didn't have a chance to grasp before it vanished. "Oh, it's not so very difficult, really. Just packed up a few things and walked out the door." He gestured at the floor and for the first time Ezekiel saw a leather shoulder bag sitting next to the bed, zippers straining over whatever was crammed inside.

Surreal, hell. Webster would definitely be getting a workout defining this day.

Lucifer moved abruptly to flop down on the bed next to him, and Ezekiel automatically moved back to give him room, somewhat nonplussed at having the former ruler of hell getting comfortable on his bed.

"It's been coming for some time now," said Lucifer, crossing his hands behind his head. "I'm tired of it all. Tired of the squabbling, tired of the stupidity." He rolled over suddenly, propping his head on one hand. "Do you have any idea how boring ten billion years of the same thing day in and day out can get?" Lucifer snorted loudly. "You people can barely stand watching the summer reruns."

"I'm sure it's been rough," Ezekiel said, carefully, still not entirely sure that this wasn't some new game the devil was playing. "But...if you quit, why are you here?" To send him back was the obvious answer in his mind, and a stark bolt of terror shot through him, forcing Zeke to bite his tongue before any of the sudden pleas rising up inside him could spill out.

"No, no," said the devil, shaking his head dismissively. "Perish the thought. I've already told you, I'm kicking them out, not inviting them back in." The implications of that, the idea of countless of previously hellbound demons roaming the earth, forget hunting just over a hundred, the sheer horror of it left Ezekiel speechless, floundering for something to say, for something to feel and already Lucifer was chuckling again.

"You never did have much of a sense of humor. Calm your sweet little unbeating heart, Ezekiel. Someone else will take up the reins very quickly, I'm sure, before too much damage is done. Which is why I'm here."

"It is?" Zeke asked, warily.

The devil gave him a sour look. "I've got a few millions things to do now that I'm no longer the ruler of Hell, Ezekiel. I'm showing an amazing amount of courtesy just stopping by. But, if you'd rather go back to Hell instead of listening to me..."

"No!" Zeke cried, sitting up so abruptly he almost fell off the narrow ledge he had left of the bed. "No," he repeated, hastily, and even insane dreams that mentioned the phrase 'go back to Hell' were worth a listen.

Lucifer nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Good. You were always quite entertaining in your fashion so let me give you some advice. If you don't want to go to Hell, that is."

Ezekiel leaned forward, not quite believing that his former...well, whatever he had been, was going to tell him anything about how to escape from Hell. Something wasn't quite right with this...OK, nothing was quite right with this, and he wondered briefly if demons could go insane.

His tired ponderings on the mental status of demons had distracted him enough that it took him a moment to realize Lucifer had stopped talking. Too good to be true, just like he'd suspected but it didn't stop the harsh slap of disappointed from coming, even as he waited for this dream or whatever it was to end.

Only it wasn't ending, and he blinked, recoiling slightly as he found Lucifer's eyes directly in front of his own. For a long moment they stared in silence, Zeke's gaze caught in Lucifer's unblinking one. Then devil's mouth twisted into something resembling a smile, the very tip of his tongue wetting his lips before he murmured, "Oh, what the hell."

Stunningly soft lips brushed against Zeke's, and he inhaled sharply, sucking unnecessary breath into his lungs as Lucifer promptly took the unwittingly offered ground, nudging a wet, supple tongue between Zeke's parted lips and it was weird how human this felt, and suddenly not human at all, a blurred jumble of unreality that found him suddenly very much without the clothes he distinctly remembered going to bed in, with a very similarly naked Lucifer devouring his mouth, biting bruisingly hard at his lips, if Ezekiel had been able to bruise properly, and a very hot, stingingly hot hand was touching him, wrapped around his cock and stroking just a little too hard and, fuck, this was...this was completely...

"Fuck..." he hissed, pulling away from that ruthless mouth to suck in another useless breath, only to choke on it as Lucifer bit his way lower, licking hard at the head of his cock before sucking it in, the harsh scrape of teeth making Zeke arch up in silent protest that quickly melted into very verbal agreement.

"Ah...yeah, yeah...ah Jesus...God!" An outpouring of all the wrong names which earned him a sharper bite and a hard suck that was much more than a man who'd lived without sex for a decade and a half could stand, even one who was in a demon body. He came hard, hands clenched in Lucifer's hair and his mouth stretched in a silent scream, melting into that non-reality sort of feeling that found him blinking and panting...and fully dressed, still sitting exactly as he'd been before Lucifer had kissed him.

He watched, still trembling, as Lucifer stood and neatly pinched the creases back into his pants.

"Another perk of quitting my day job is that the rules don't quite apply in the same way as they did before." Lucifer smiled again, all sharp-edges and he caught the tip of his tongue between his teeth before he added softly, "Yes, you were always most entertaining. I daresay you're the only thing I'm going to miss. If I had the chance..." He shook his head, shrugging a little. "Too much to do, I'm afraid. So let me give you a little tip, shall I? As a going away present."

Reaching out, he tilted Zeke's chin up with the tip of his index finger. "It's something that I only just remembered myself. You don't have to stay anywhere forever."

Ezekiel blinked once, slowly, too exhausted and confused to even think of what he could possibly say. Maybe-dreams, could-be advice, and possibly-sex were even more tiring than demon hunting.

Lucifer frowned when he didn't get an answer, dark eyes searching Zeke's. "Do you understand me? You don't have to stay anywhere forever. Got it?"

"I guess so," said Ezekiel, thickly, when it finally filtered into his thoughts that Lucifer wasn't going to leave unless he said something.

The devil rolled his eyes. "Then I guess that will have to do. See you around, Ezekiel." One last smile and then he was...not there, and Zeke was sitting up in his bed, abruptly wide-awake and feeling, if not perfectly rested then at least less like the floor of a taxicab.

"I need help," he muttered, crawling out of bed and towards the bathroom. He stripped absently, wondering if he'd get committed instantly at the mention of being dead or if maybe he'd at least get a full session first, when he stopped cold at the sight of himself in the mirror over the sink.

The tattoos were gone.

Shuffling unsteadily forward, Zeke ran a disbelieving finger over his shoulder and down his arm, seeing nothing but naked flesh against naked flesh. Gone, down to the very last mark.

"He quit," Zeke whispered, flinching at the sound of his own voice. "He quit. He...quit." His knees gave without warning and Ezekiel sank down on the cool tile, still murmuring, wonderingly, "He quit...he just quit."

'You don't have to stay anywhere forever.' Came to him, as clearly as if it had been spoken out loud. He thought of Lucifer's packed bag and the odd clean heat of his mouth, and Zeke was on his feet, snatching his clothes back on before he'd even thought of what he was doing. Only a few moments to gather his meager belongings and Zeke was out the door, giving a quick, cheerful wave to Maxine and suppressed a twinge of guilt, knowing he wouldn't be back.

" 'Don't have to stay anywhere forever,'" he muttered again, just for the pleasure of saying it as he made his way down the sidewalk, eager to find someplace else he could be.

For a little while.

-finis-

 

Comments and questions to:  mailto:keelywolfe@gmail.com

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